Welcome earthlings to the fourth installment of Albert and Ryan's sideshow pod, Do Be A Monster. Today the boys take a break from the idiom universe to traverse the stars and skies in an episode dedicated to glowy-eyed, winged weirdos from the great beyond...aliens! Aye, it's an extraterrestrial audial festival of creepy cryptids and cosmic freakazoids. Albert leads the way to Point Pleasant, West Virginia to tango with the mysterious Mothman while Ryan heads two hours east for a wee romp with the Phantom of Flatwoods. Stick around till the end of the episode for an interview with the alien-influenced electronic music duo Losaquis (our Colombian brothers from another mother)!

Episode 40: Now serving ticket number 40 at the Far Out Deli of Cosmic Knowledge. Press your face against the display case of our finest array of language lunch meats. We've got hyperbole ham steak that is right on the edge but still full price (we wouldn't want to insult you with a clearance price), links of simile sausage as long as the Lambton worm, metaphor mortadella that'll have you begging for "morcy", and don't forget the coup de grâce...fresh ground rat dogs. You'll be feeling hunky dory when you step into the limelight of supermarket stardom! Is this some sort of supermarket themed TV show? No. But you won't know the difference once you've slid our rotten meats down your gullet. They don't call it a "trip" to the deli for nothing! Did we say limelight yet? Limelight. Oh wait, we already said it. Don't forget the yellow mustard.

Episode 39: Has your magic talking frog led you astray and now you're pulling double-scrub duty? Why not kill time with a podcast? Hey, WE'RE a podcast! So if your fragile joy is hanging by a thread, venture on out of the boondocks of your soul and plug into some electrifying oral idiom exploration. The sword of Damocles is poised to plummet at any minute, so if this is to be your last stand...stand for episode 39, man.

Episode 38: Did you hear about the year? The metal ox is near! By the time you read this, he'll be here. And the boys' suits are quite sheer 'cause they're on the hunt for that sexy golden steer. So pipe down your kids and pipe down your wives. The fellas have a little present for you and it is no white elephant! Tune in for the gift that just won't stop giving. Even if you smash your radio and set your family on fire, they just can't...stop...giving.

Oh, good morning. So you've once again stumbled upon Albert and Ryan's sideshow pod. Yes, from the boys who have been bringing you Don't Be An Idiom for three whole years, it's Do Be A Monster. In this third installment of monster mania, the boys go a-huntin' for some serious beasts. Come travel to Northeast England for a slimey time with the legendary Lambton Worm and take a climb up Mount Katahdin to hang with the great and terrible Pamola. Monster Court is officially in session. Thwapp!

Episode 37: Breathe in...breathe out. That’s nice. Hey, did you just cough up a bunch of hair, deer, mice and dust? Maybe you’ve been watching too much TV lately. “Is that even possible?” you wonder aloud. The answer is NOBODY KNOWS! But just to be safe, why don’t you saddle up to your favorite ham radio and tune into Episode 37 of DBAI? C’mon, it’s just an hour. Your kids won’t even know you’ve left. Leave your shoes out in the open. They’d never expect to find you crouching in the woodshed waiting for night to fall. Soon enough, they’ll never expect anything at all. Who says you can’t eat your cake and have it too? FDR and the Unabomber are waiting in the alley in their ghost-Trans-Am and they gotta full tank of ectoplasm and a haunted EZ-pass. You’re practically scot-free, friend; all you gotta do is shed that pesky mortal coil...

Episode 36: As the knell striketh twelve, look out yonder across the seven waves and blow a kiss to Auld Lang Syne. Even a phantom kiss can make an old, slumbering sea monster blush, so let loose as those new year chimes sing their first lonesome melody. And who is that sailing across the oceans of time? Could be a regular old country bumpkin who's lost his way or just a dead ringer for Father Doom. Regardless, it's best to avert these old stinky peepers and tend to the patch; the county fair is right around the corner and we've got our eyes on a baby blue ribbon named Destiny.

Tis the season for merry monsters! In this edition of Albert and Ryan’s sideshow pod, Do Be A Monster, the boys take a look at the infamous demon of Christmas — The Krampus! The fellas will also take a moment to sip on hot toddies with some other winter wondercreeps: the switch-thwacking Pennsylvania-Dutch Belsnickel, the Polish Christmas cow-creature Turón, and the Icelandic winter-witch Gryla. Grab a couple o’ cookies, pour yourself a hot chocolate, light up the Yule log, and come join Albert and Ryan for some Christmas monster musing.

Episode 35: Look through your window there. Look through the frost on the glass into that cold, cold world we like to call Earth. Oh yes, she's a wintry mamacita, ain't she? With her snowy disposition and icy touch — offering nothin' but three dog nights and bottles of rye. What's the forecast dear weatherman? Murphy's law, Murphy's law. Well, that's just fine, because tomorrow there will be free beer (at least that's what the sign said...the dingoes ate the sign). But who will eat the dingoes? Not we, not us. We're just dogs, after all. It's man eat man on Dog Earth and NASA needs a couple o' spaceship cooks. Guess who's up for the job...

Episode 34: Put down those various publications and listen up! The stink of new idioms is wafting through the window like a pie on a windowless day. Cartoon-smellfloat your way to episode thirty-four where...my cousin's being baptized in thirty minutes? Gather ye beer-battered cod while ye can, for ye famine is on ye horizon. But don't cross that horizon line too soon unless you want your mind blown to smithereens...which you do. So, ya know, pour yourself a pint and come dance the Tyburn jig at the Irish Davy Jones Extravaganza that is Episode 34. And that's a throwback! Even though the fish was thiiiiis big. Ya follow? Fa la la la la, it's a Christmas episode. Well, a light Christmas episode. You'll see.