Don't Expect Anything

This week’s episode starts off moist and keeps getting wetter. From getting in trouble as kids to the manliest thing they’ve ever done, the Talkie Boys dive back into their past to mine their embarrassing lives. As usual, extra topics arise such as animal vaginas, natural disaster survival stories and the actual disaster that is Jeremy’s life.

Don’t Expect Anything has been upgraded! The Talkie Boys are in a new studio thanks to the peeps over at Good Old Daize studio in the heart of Footscray. To christen the next step in their podcasting adventure, Jeremy, Josh and Huw decide to create the perfect 2000’s boy band. Along the way, they discover which singing group were Jeremy’s imaginary childhood friends, what the country of Australia has contributed to the world and all the members of One Direction. Also, sorry Jeremy sounds far away this week, this will be fixed next week.

I just want to take an aside and thank you for listening to our podcast. We are in the midst of an evolution so please stick with us, the best is definitely yet to come.

The Talkie Boys are all about makin’ money this week! The each take turns in the cutthroat Goldfish Bowl, the D.E.A. version of Shark Tank, pitching their own cash cow ideas. Huw is helping you lie, Josh is creating the transport of the future and Jeremy is fixing the barber shop experience. So pop that $1000 champagne and sit back and listen to the future 1% lay down their golden bricks of genius.

Hop into bed, tuck yourself in and pull the covers up to your chin for this week’s intimate episode of Don’t Expect Anything: Nightssss. Oh yes, while Josh is away the drunk mice will play as Jeremy and Huw get cosy for a two person episode. It you think that isn’t intimate enough, Jeremy has some crotch related qualms that Huw is only too happy to help with. After that steamy session, the topic turns to cereals and then just gets real weird.

FUCK YOU PHIL!

Huw knows next to nothing about the wonderful world of film. Jeremy obsessively watches movies as if his life depended on it. In this episode, the two worlds collide in the first ever ReHuw! Mr. Davies happened to be in the room while Jeremy watched the musical comedy, acapella celebration that is Pitch Perfect 2 and he has a few things to say about it. So please have a listen to someone bitching about a movie they saw, because no other podcast has done that before.

ACA-HUW-ME?!

After a brief opening discussing various aspects of bathroom etiquette, the Talkie Boys realise they forgot to bring their random topic mug and decide to converse about body modification. Because the show is called Don’t Expect Anything, the stupidity that arises leads to number of chat detours.

‘Talkie Boys’ no more as this week, friend of the show Liv Staffieri joins the podcast. To celebrate finally having a female perspective on the show, the conversation turns to porn. After the initial topic fizzles and dies within two minutes, the gang gets the idea to create the IMDB Top 250 Porn Movies. This is an episode filled with crass, despicable language and will also serve as evidence as to why Jeremy belongs in hell. Seriously, if you are related to Jeremy, please do not listen to this episode. But, still rate us five stars on iTunes.

“It’s the circle of life, baby!”

This week the Talkie Boys are drunk and are immediately making you question whether you, the listener, are wasting your time as they try to come up with the perfect podcast show-opening zinger. After this pre-show faff, the show itself quickly falls off the rails. From a discussion on the worst things they have done into a weird verbal explosion as the low budget nature of this podcast shines through with roommate walk-ins and background sounds galore. And, if that wasn’t enough, Josh and Jeremy meet the worst person in existence.

Huw has an electronic keyboard in front of him this week and the fun-loving Jeremy is simply thrilled about it. He’s also absolutely thrilled with the outside world as he and Josh recount their weird walk to the shops and back. After all the complaining, the Talkie Boys attempt to create the perfect sandwich as a team. Which goes well.

Load up the harp sound effect as the Talkie Boys take a trip down memory lane to recount a myriad of childhood injuries. They run the injury gambit until Josh recounts an odd story that freaks out Jeremy and Huw. Seriously, it’s the strangest thing I’ve ever heard.