Don't Expect Anything

Well, it finally happened, the podcast finally has a guest on that is too ashamed to reveal their true identity. The Talkie Boys welcome Anonymous (aka. Anon) to their weekly discussion by first breaking down their views on the cinematic juggernaut Aquaman (SPOILERS FOR AQUAMAN BEGIN AT 4.34 AND END AT 11.25.) All this talking about the adventures of shirtless Jason Mamoa we begin to crave our own adventure and we pose the question; where in the world would you most want to live? Ahhhhh travel, the quest to find oneself in this big blue marble we call Planet Earth. Back in my day, we used to ride our penny-farthings up the lane to ol’ Mister Corbins’ mansion for a nice hot cocoa and nickel for good measure. Nowadays, young people shoot all over this blue marble we call Planet Earth in metal tubes exploding through the sky at speeds people were not meant to travel. God did not give us wings so we must stay tethered to the ground…

These Talkie Boys are grossly desperate for admiration and acknowledgement so if you would like to help these sad, sad boys out, you can find them here:

Facebook: @deapodcast https://www.facebook.com/deapodcast/

Instagram: @deapodcast https://www.instagram.com/deapodcast/

Jeremy: @slippin_on_peels

Josh: @j__sh._

Huw: @huwperfluous

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/dont-expect-anything

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIlEVJAU7gIirt6xgaG3g4g

It’s the first episode of 2019 and boy do we kick it off with a bang! We bring in the New Year with discussions that include RSL sex crimes, stories of debauchery and excessive drink, the intricate political doctrines of school bus seating, and then a whole lot of platitudinous quasi-philosophizing regarding journeys and destinations. Seriously we talk in circles for the last fifteen minutes and then the podcast just kind of ends. Happy New Year!

Gather around the crackling fire and throw all of the ripped up wrapping paper into it because ‘tis the day after Christmas and the Talkie Boys are bringing you some extra merry conversations. Wanting to share the holiday vibes with as many people as possible, Jeremy hosted a Christmas/his 24th birthday party with some good friends. He forced them to do the hard work for him by having a number of happy chats to share the festive feelings with you, dear podcast listeners. So throw out the tree, pick up that half-eaten candy cane from the wool rug and take down that mistletoe because, seriously, it’s 2018 MEN, not everyone wants to kiss you, and enjoy Friend’s Tales of Greatness: A Don’t Expect Anything Christmas Extravaganza.

Thank you to Sam, Tash, Laura, Liv, John, Dan, Rob, Keegan and Jemma for becoming Talkie Boys for Christmas!

“Jingle Bells” - freesound.org

I know it’s hard to like these Talkie Boys but if you want to see more, you can find them online on:

Facebook: @deapodcast https://www.facebook.com/deapodcast/

Instagram: @deapodcast https://www.instagram.com/deapodcast/

Jeremy: @slippin_on_peels

Josh: @j__sh._

Huw: @huwperfluous

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/dont-expect-anything

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIlEVJAU7gIirt6xgaG3g4g

It takes one hell of a podcast to combine disorganisation, stupidity, arguments and science-fiction into a single episode but somehow, the Talkie Boys have done it. Tasked with proving that their chosen science-fiction character is better than the rest, Jeremy, Josh and Huw compete in a series of “carefully considered” discussions to try and prove their choice is the one and only correct one. Jeremy gets passionate, Huw gets angry and Josh gets weird on the first ever DEApodcast ‘Argument Battle Royale’ (a term not used in the episode but is something I just thought of so we might use it if we ever do this again.)

I know it’s hard to like these Talkie Boys but if you want to see more, you can find them online on:

Facebook: @deapodcast https://www.facebook.com/deapodcast/

Instagram: @deapodcast https://www.instagram.com/deapodcast/

Jeremy: @slippin_on_peels

Josh: @j__sh._

Huw: @huwperfluous

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/dont-expect-anything

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIlEVJAU7gIirt6xgaG3g4g

This week, the scattered minds of the Talkie Boys are on full display as they jump around a variety of topics. What starts off as a half-hearted attempt to somehow figure out world peace morphs into a cacophony of various conversations including awful primary school fashion choices, the twelve colours in a crayon set and Huw gets passionate about the ups and downs of being a card-carrying member of the Newport Bowlo. Then it ends with a discussion of the best science-fiction characters which causes Jeremy to finally give up on everything he cares about as he faces the indifference of Huw and Josh. Everyone gets reeeaaallll salty.

The Talkie Boys are heading to Hollywood! Josh-less but not lost(-less), Keegan Mew returns to the podcast to help pitch the next big Hollywood blockbuster. But, if Keegan and Huw don’t have a perfect movie pitch for their meeting with the cocaine-snorting, racist-misogynist movie executive that Jeremy morphs into, they may not make it as big time movie producers! Along the way, they’ll get side-tracked by discussing their favourite It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia characters, Jeremy’s new and dangerous addiction and the gross and offensive Hollywood landscape.

I know it’s hard to like these Talkie Boys but if you want to see more, you can find them online on:

Facebook: @deapodcast https://www.facebook.com/deapodcast/

Instagram: @deapodcast https://www.instagram.com/deapodcast/

Jeremy: @slippin_on_peels

Josh: @j__sh._

Huw: @huwperfluous

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/dont-expect-anything

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIlEVJAU7gIirt6xgaG3g4g

Dear Jesus, every ten weeks I pray to you for help. I have been a good person, sticking true to your values and helping the world every bit I can. But, sire, all I ask for in return is if you can smite down the blasphemers from the Don’t Expect Anything Podcast and their so-called friend Liv Staffieri. Every ten weeks they do their IMDB Top 250 Porno Films episode and it is too filthy for our children’s hears! This disgusting, amoral “entertainment” should be stricken from the airwaves and these four unbelievers should be punished for their numerous indiscretions. This episode is all the evidence you need to prove them guilty of being miscreant, sex obsessed and faithless. The sheer level of smut in this audio podcast episode reaches shameful new heights and must be stopped, my dear lord Jesus.

Amen

P.S.

I love all your miracles, especially the bread and fish one and I think you six-pack is super sexy.

End of prayer.

I know it’s hard to like these Talkie Boys but if you want to see more, you can find them online on:

Facebook: @deapodcast https://www.facebook.com/deapodcast/

Instagram: @deapodcast https://www.instagram.com/deapodcast/

Jeremy: @slippin_on_peels

Josh: @j__sh._

Huw: @huwperfluous

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/dont-expect-anything

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIlEVJAU7gIirt6xgaG3g4g

Fans of Josh despair as this week’s episode only has the awful Jeremy and the disappointing Huw. These two losers try to fill the void of their more talented and charming co-host by discussing what brings a tear to their eye. Once these beta male soy-boys have exhausted their tiny supply of interesting things to say on crying, they move onto more “interesting” topics such as violence, creationism and something else… probably. To be honest, I stopped listening once I realised Josh wasn’t in this episode so it is automatically the worst episode ever. Seriously, these two cuck-a-boos can’t carry a crate of oranges, let alone a whole episode. Just skip this Josh-less turd.

I know it’s hard to like these Talkie Boys but if you want to see more, you can find them online on:

Facebook: @deapodcast https://www.facebook.com/deapodcast/

Instagram: @deapodcast https://www.instagram.com/deapodcast/

Jeremy: @slippin_on_peels

Josh: @j__sh._

Huw: @huwperfluous

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/dont-expect-anything

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIlEVJAU7gIirt6xgaG3g4g

This week’s topic concerns super-stardom, which ultimately becomes a Ball-a-palooza™ as the boys (well really just Huw and Jeremy) reminisce about an old highschool friend. The boys then touch on musicians, Ellen, and directors before ultimately landing back in the wonderful world of Ratatouille. Huw is to blame, but we promise he’ll be stopped in the future.

I know it’s hard to like these Talkie Boys but if you want to see more, you can find them online on:

Facebook: @deapodcast https://www.facebook.com/deapodcast/

Instagram: @deapodcast https://www.instagram.com/deapodcast/

Jeremy: @slippin_on_peels

Josh: @j__sh._

Huw: @huwperfluous

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/dont-expect-anything

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIlEVJAU7gIirt6xgaG3g4g

Finally, the episode you’ve all been waiting for! After teasing the homework topic for WEEKS, the Talkie Boys finally deliver the knowledge. Tasked with teaching their co-hosts on a topic of their own choosing, Huw, Josh and Jeremy take in turns laying down the facts on three extremely specific areas of expertise. Huw talks about the only movie he cares about, Josh discusses his work and Jeremy proves what an unlovable tween virgin he is by waffling on about a fantasy world for about half the episode.

I know it’s hard to like these Talkie Boys but if you want to see more, you can find them online on:

Facebook: @deapodcast https://www.facebook.com/deapodcast/

Instagram: @deapodcast https://www.instagram.com/deapodcast/

Jeremy: @slippin_on_peels

Josh: @j__sh._

Huw: @huwperfluous

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/dont-expect-anything

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIlEVJAU7gIirt6xgaG3g4g