Rick DellaRatta, an award-winning jazz pianist, discusses the healing power of music, particularly in the context of recovering from divorce or heartbreak. He emphasizes the importance of embracing music as a personal journey and a way to raise one's personal game while suggesting that individuals explore different genres and artists, such as jazz, to find solace and enlightenment. Highlighting the role of music in complementing other forms of therapy and support systems, Rick encourages individuals to take action, empower themselves, and find activities that enhance their healing journey.  Check out his Jazz for Peace website!

Interesting Points:

The healing power of music

Music as a coping mechanism

Addressing PTSD and suspicion with men and therapy

Three messages for recovery

Speaking two languages - Jazz and English

Noah and the Arc

Bach never got to play the piano

Find solace in lyrics

Everything to gain by developing a personal connection with any music instrument

Fill our souls up with out greatest qualities and we have a better chance of avoiding destructive behavior

Take your mind off that crazy woman

Country music

John Coltrane

EWF and Grand Funk Railroad

Jazz for Peace Website

Everything Rick DellaRatta

Jazz for Peace United Nations Page

Look For His New Book On Amazon - Paving a Path For Peach Through Music

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Welcome Trevor to the podcast.  He is a professor of psychology at Oregon Tech and a licensed clinical psychologist.  His concept of Overlap (and his book) explores the need for men to connect more with living things in order to achieve more joy and happiness.  A very interesting concept.  Trevor, the king of analogies, was very gracious in his ability to project his advice and concepts with a divorced man listening to this podcast.  He feels that man need to step out more of the ‘man box’ and be open and maybe seek outside therapies like counseling.  Thanks Trevor for hanging with me!

Conversations:

Four levels of engaging

Regain a sense of worth

Carry on from a tragedy

Be kind

BIFF

Keep the bigger goal at hand

Don’t go to a CNA for a brain tumor

You are not alone

Become a better father

Accept Bob at the party but you don’t have to like him

Make little steps of progress

What is the outcome you want and what action will get you there?

Work life balance

Take a step back and realize how good things are

ALL THINGS DR. TREVOR PETERSEN

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Welcome to the show, Alberta Jordan.  She is a divorce recovery and trauma coach who can and has walked the walk and talked the talk.  Her superpower is getting trauma unstuck in her clients thus enabling them to go through a transformation to a more positive state.  Topics of the perpetual victim, toxic relationships, health boundaries, narcissism, advocating for yourself, loving yourself, empowered identity, focusing releasing your trauma from your and more sassy now are all explored in this informative podcast.  I feel that Alberta directly speaks to my men over 40 in their quest for healing and a new reality.  Take a listen and grab what speaks to you and keep it moving! Spoiler alert - Alberta is giving something valuable away after listening to this podcast to the first 5 people that book a call with her after listening to this episode! Make sure you tell her that you heard about her on this podcast!

Discussions of:

Release and rejuvenate

Forgiveness

Taking your power back

Facing your past is the first step

Be your own hero

Loving somebody else and not loving yourself paradox

Love is Blind - talking to the wall

Making an impact to help others live a better life

Always tell yourself the truth

Taking your power back

Be willing to change your language with yourself and others

Advocate for yourself

Exhilarated Life, LLC

Transforming your Life -20 Incredible Stories Showing Strength of the Human Spirit

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I don’t know how to even start to explain this one.  This podcast was so very interesting.  I thought, ‘what can a self-published author contribute to a divorce recovery podcast for men over 40”?  But I was quite surprised.  Welcome John Leister to the mic.  His challenging life has shaped his current view and zeal for experiencing life.  His basic and thought-provoking advice for men divorcing or divorced over the age of 40 is very genuine.  He emphasizes the importance of mindset, self-belief, and the power of creativity in healing and moving on from devastating events.  With a slow start to the show, John finally exercised his Yodaesque wisdom.  From discussing love as a motivator, anticipating negativity, the fact we need friends, God and faith, thinking of our lives as a quest, and looking for the light at the end of the tunnel - John gives my men over 40 some great insights for divorce recovery.  We’ll  have to get him back on the show.  Thanks John…

Discussions of:

Discovering a passion for writing

Overcoming obstacles and taking a leap of faith

Using creativity as a healing tool

The importance of relationships and support

Favorite detective genres and inspirations

Advice for men going through a divorce

Like-minded people

Embarking on new adventures

Criticism is good - people are paying attention

Take the hits, we all get beat up

We have to love ourselves unconditionally

Healing is priceless.

John’s Email: [email protected]

John on Indigo Books

Johnny's Way Facebook Group

And search for him on YouTube… very interesting!

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Isaac Gruenebaum, a mediator, discusses the process of mediation and its benefits in divorce cases. He explains the difference between mediation and arbitration, highlighting the voluntary nature of mediation and the role of a third party in arbitration. Isaac emphasizes the importance of attitude and mindset in mediation, particularly for men over 40 going through divorce. Isaac also advises keeping the focus on the future and not dwelling on the past while considering the role of control, communication, and willingness in successful mediation. He shares insights on handling contentious issues, such as religious differences and child custody disputes. Isaac concludes by highlighting the importance of listening and making decisions in mediation.  His superpower is getting two people that start far apart, to finish with a fair and complete hospice care plan for their divorce and a wedding plan for their divorce! And thanks to Isaac for being so gracious to me and my plight with this podcast.  I appreciate it so much!

Crucial points and takeaways:

-mediation is a voluntary process that allows divorcing couples to reach agreements without litigation.

-attitude and mindset are crucial in mediation, especially for men over 40 going through divorce.

-successful mediation requires a focus on the future and a willingness to listen and make decisions.

-control, communication, and willingness are key factors in resolving contentious issues in mediation.

-no relationship with robots

-don’t use the kids as pawns

-learning chaos

-Jewish divorce vs legal divorce

-knowledge is helpful

-do good for yourself, your children and your world

-Isaac with the wordsmithery!

-a vetting process

-a good mediation is therapeutic

-are custody battles about the children?

CONCORD MEDIATION GROUP

Isaac on Linkedin

Concord Mediation Group YouTube Channel

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Welcome to the show, Lair Torrent.  He is a marriage and family therapist and author of the book THE PRACTICE OF LOVE.  His superpower is uniting eastern-based mindfulness practices and western clinical models and creating a unique approach to healing.  It does get a little crazy and fun towards the end of the podcast, but it lends itself to the fact we are all human and a little laughter is good for the soul.  Besides, who doesn’t want the big piece of chicken?

Mindfulness.. Taking a pause

Stop a habit, choose your words 

Paying attention on purpose to you thoughts and feelings

Healing is not linear

We are good at algebra

Divorce is not a failure

Face it head on

Grief and suffering dealing with is go through

I’m not stopping to ask for asking directions

I’m a grown-assed man

Men are starting to ask for help more

Everybody has a therapist in New York

Uniting eastern and western models

Selling snake oil

The sacred pause, mindfulness

All therapy starts with mindfulness

The Frankenstein Therapist

Practice of love

Conveyance of love becomes problematic

Recognize the self that shows up for love

Know what story we are telling

You got to own your stuff

Are you mindful of your part?

Personal responsibility 

Eskimos have 100 words for snow

We have one word for love

Chemical love, the real you, dopamine

Me centered to we centered thinking

You can love others and not love yourself

All roads mostly lead back to mom and dad

Four core questions?

Were you loved ?

Were you safe ?

Were you enough ?

Did you matter ?

Finding the core wound

Practice self-compassion

Triggered by the gravity of the moment

Who in you shows up?

The practice of the narrative

Unconditional Love - Chris Rock

Children, women and dogs

Find a bigger cave

Overcompensation

Discover More

Website

https://www.lairtorrent.com/

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/lairtorrentholistictherapist/

TikTok

https://www.tiktok.com/@lairtorrent

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Wayne, a personal development coach and content creator, discusses his book 'Setback or Stepping Stones: It's Your Choice' and shares insights on overcoming setbacks and turning them into opportunities. This subject can really be applied to the divorce recovery space.  While emphasizing the importance of self-care, managing negative self-talk, and building self-confidence, he also highlights the role of community and the power of turning pain into purpose. Overall, his book and coaching approach aim to inspire and empower individuals to live their best lives.

Takeaways and important points:

Setbacks are inevitable in life, but they can be turned into stepping stones for personal growth and success.

Negative self-talk and self-sabotage often stem from the ego, but they can be countered by changing thoughts and language.

Self-care, including stress relief, meditation, and positive affirmations, is crucial for overall well-being and success.

Building self-confidence starts with changing thoughts and self-talk, and it is essential for achieving goals and overcoming setbacks.

Community plays a significant role in shaping thoughts, emotions, and actions, and it is important to surround oneself with positive influences.

Failure is not the end but an opportunity for learning and growth, and setbacks can be redefined as stepping stones towards success.

Managing difficult emotions involves monitoring energy levels, engaging in activities that uplift mood, and practicing self-reflection.

Turning pain into purpose allows individuals to find meaning and create a fulfilling life beyond setbacks and challenges.

The war within

First, you have to be true to yourself

Self-talk, internal dialogue

No failures in life, just opportunities

Self-confidence is the key, how you think

Journaling

You must love yourself

Wayne’s Website

Setback or Stepping Stone? It’s Your Choice, Flipbook

Social Media Handles:

https://www.youtube.com/@tcsthinkcreatesuccess

https://www.instagram.com/waynefaulkner85/

https://www.facebook.com/@tcsthinkcreatesuccess

https://twitter.com/@wayne51725476

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Possessing rich expertise in both education and martial arts training, Tim McCarthy has leveraged his background to create a straightforward framework for nurturing children's growth.  Tim holds a Master's Degree in Education and the elite distinction of Grandmaster in the martial arts.

 By synthesizing insights garnered over many years as an instructor and administrator across public and private school settings with extensive experience developing martial arts curricula, McCarthy has formulated an accessible plan supporting children's development - a necessary element in coparenting in this new world.

Tim also discusses the importance of self-care, supporting different learning styles, and co-parenting in the context of martial arts. He concludes by sharing an inspirational story of how martial arts teachings positively impacted a child. Tim's insights are further explored in his book, 'Raising Four Dimensional Children in a Two Dimensional World.'

Topics:

Martial arts is a confidence building

Fathers suck at emotions

The two-dimensional world, the world of screens

Bully management

Role models

Martial artist

Anti-Vietnam War Era

After School martial arts programs

Other activities for the kids

4 dimensions to human being

-physical, emotional, spiritual and mental

Lack of accounting for those dimensions while raising the kids

Kids sitting all day at school

Mr. T hated to fly

Let it motivate you instead of being envious

Frankenstein envy

Move with it and redirect it

Absorb, redirect and dance

Conflict resolutions

Lead by example

3 basic learning styles

Provide kids a safe space

Roll the condom down the mop handle.

Saints can be role models

Raising 4 Dimensional Children in a 2 Dimensional World Website

All About Tim McCarthy

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Episode 024 is a special one to me.  I think the coparenting realm is not discussed enough in divorce recovery.  I know there are wins and losses.  The losses are so devastating to dads.   Welcome Tracy Poizner to the show.  She is a mind/body wellness expert that focuses on counseling men dealing with child alienation during or after divorce.  So many questions - what is it, how does it happen, advice to handle it, how to manage it?  She discusses all that and more in this podcast.  Take a listen….

Takeaways and Topics:

Homeopathic background

Using social media

Masculine and feminine energy

Keep an archive of your communication

Dad’s are more of the target parent

The unconscious is connected to survival

They need to hear your voice

Provide positive energy no matter what

Don’t use social media as a soapbox

Fight or flight

The unfiltered truth

You can bang on the highchair tray of the universe until you are blue in the face

Your kids are secretly longing from something from you

We know sh!t they don’t know

Parental alienation happens to some degree in 80% divorces

Believing in another plane of existence

Looking at the world through dirty sunglasses

Undeletable Dad Website

YouTube Undeletable Dad

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Gabriel comes to us from the Superbowl city of Las Vegas.  Being a first time father, he has developed special skills to assist men and women in their battles and differences in co-parenting.  In this episode of the Don't Pick the Scab podcast, Gabriel, a parenting coach and author, joins the host to discuss co-parenting and raising children after divorce. Gabriel shares his personal journey and mission to help first-time parents and those co-parenting.  While emphasizing the importance of communication, stability, and normalcy in co-parenting relationships, Gabriel also highlights the significance of self-care for divorced dads and the need to embrace nurturing and caregiving roles. He provides insights on conflict resolution and effective communication strategies in co-parenting. 

Takeaways and Topics:

A teacher of 20 years

Fixing the broken vase

You don’t have to be best friends

We all need our space

Let go of the male ego

Normalcy of parenting is gone

Text or email to break the ice

Talk together instead of blaming each other

Talk to each other instead of talking at each other

Guys can be nurturing and caregiving

Make memories with your kids

Mental and physical health

Show the child what love is

Keep positive people around you

All Things Gabriel…

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