Dr G's ADHD Chat

All parents of ADHDers know that there are a lot of exaggerated emotions with our children, but where do they come from? Why are they so strong and sometimes seem to be totally independent of anything going on in their lives. I’ll discuss some of the explanations for emotions and why ADHDers emotions are so strong.

In this episode, I’ll be covering 4 trending issues in ADHD- 1. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, 2. Medications, 3. ADHD vs Autism, 4.ADHD-Disability or Difference. These are all emerging issues in ADHD and they are all more complicated than they appear on the surface. For instance, #4, the question of whether ADHD is a disability or just a difference is hugely complicated. Nobody wants their child to have a disability, but if it’s not a disability, then your child doesn’t get any accommodations (no 504 plan). So it’s more complicated than it first appears.

People don’t pay much attention to what’s going on in their lives, they just react and then forget about what happened. With an ADHD child it’s important to be fully alert to the situations that occur and be able to compare one situation to other similar situations. One of the best ways to do this is to actually monitor the event, pay attention to it, write down observations and compare it to similar situations. The old saying “you can’t change it if you don’t measure it.”This applies to your situation as a parent and will help you better understand the patterns in your child’s behavior and the triggers that start it.

ADHDers have and emotional regulation problem called rejection sensitive dysphoria. This means they overreact to slights that are real or imagined.This difficulty is likely a result of the emotional regulation problems ADHDers have combined with the 70 or so critical comments they receive each and every day. The responses are typically very strong and frequently surprise family and friends

Psychotherapy and/or coaching and sometimes both are usually recommended for ADHDers. In this episode I’ll briefly review the advantages and disadvantages of both. Psychotherapy is generally recommended for psychopathology (anxiety, depression). Coaching gives the individual more control of the direction of the coaching and the general goal is performance enhancement.

This episode is for all us neurotypicals who married an ADHDer. What could possibly possessed us to marry someone who generates clutter and piles of paper almost instantly. And then they don’t really see it after they’re done with the room they were in. I call the piles “horizontal files” and you better not move anything or your ADHDer will be very upset. They also seem to know exactly what’s in each pile and find it.

One of the ways to conceptualize the difficulties of being ADHD in a neurotypical world is the Farmer/Hunter dichotomy espoused by Thomas Hartman. He says ADHD minds can be thought of as hunter’s minds needing to be constantly,alert responding rapidly and needing to forget old information to increase readiness for the next situation. The hunter is also constantly on the move. The problem comes when the world becomes a farmer’s world, a place in which you stay in one place. You need to be patient and pay close attention. Also farmers tend to take over the world and drive the hunters out. We can see this in the American expansion and the way native Americans were treated. Having a hunter’s mind in a farmer’s world is a disadvantage except in specialized roles that value creativity, rapid responses and high energy. This is why so many ADHDers are artists, athletes, musicians and entrepreneurs.

When it comes to finding an ideal job,ADHDers are, in a way, kind of lucky because they literally can’ stand, won’t tolerate and won’t do a very good job doing stuff that bores them. They need work that is fast paced, requires quick responses and decisions, ideally needs some creativity and has an element of risk. That’s probably why so many ADHDers are entrepreneurs, artists and entertainers. I will go over other requirement as for the ideal ADHD job and recommend some specific job categories.

Sports can be very important for ADHD3ers. Exercise offers a natural wat to increase dopamine in the brain which improves he ability to focus and. Sustain attention and also improves self-control and impulse control. Best of al,l sports present an area of life in which the ADHDer is not at a disadvantage. Of course, not all sports are a good fit nor all the different positions in team sports good for ADHDers. I’ll cover what to look for in sports and which ones are best fits and which positions in some sports are best fits.

Your ADHDer’s physical development is consistent with that of his peers. However mentally and physically his/her development is 3-5 years behind the peer group. This is a particular problem for parents because your child still wants all the badges of adulthood that his peers are getting. This includes getting a driver’s license, dating, wanting to make their own decisions, experimenting with new looks and wardrobes. Remember, for teenagers in general, their emotions are fully developed before their judgement. And your ADHDer is 3-5 years behind. This is an explosive time of life with the possibilities of making some decisions and taking some actions that you can’t recover from. I’ll discuss some of the major isssues and a strategic approach to them.