You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - www.adhdwithjennafree.com/adhdguide Join the waitlist for ADHD Groups (starting January) - www.adhdwithjennafree.com/groups

Chapters 00:00 Introduction: How to Regulate For Real 01:00 Why Tips and Tricks Don't Actually Work 03:00 External vs Internal Regulation 05:00 Regulation Through Avoidance Isn't Real Regulation 07:00 Layer One: The Body (Nervous System Regulation) 09:00 Layer Two: The Mind (Thought and Belief Regulation) 11:00 Layer Three: Behavior (Balanced Action) 15:00 Why People Think Regulation Doesn't Work 18:00 You Don't Have to Do It Perfectly 20:00 What Real Change Looks Like 23:00 Start With the Foundation: Your Nervous System

Summary In this episode, I break down how to actually regulate for real - not with tips, tricks, or surface-level ADHD coping strategies, but with deep, internal work that changes how you function. If you've ever felt frustrated by hearing "just regulate" without knowing what that actually means, or if you've tried breathing exercises and meditation but nothing has fundamentally changed, this episode is for you. I explain why ADHD regulation has been oversimplified by wellness culture into surface-level fixes like bubble baths and rigid routines, and why that approach doesn't create lasting change. Real regulation is internal, not external - it's not about what you do, it's about how you do it. I walk through the three layers of the ADHD regulation method: body (nervous system regulation where you teach your body it's safe), mind (rewiring fear-based beliefs formed in survival mode), and behavior (shifting from extreme all-or-nothing patterns to balanced, sustainable action). I also address why people think regulation doesn't work - expecting instant results instead of gradual re-patterning, confusing calming down with becoming regulated, or stopping at just the nervous system piece without doing the thought and behavior work. This is not a quick fix. It takes time and repetition, just like going to the gym. But the time will pass anyway, and in a year you can either have an entirely new experience of life or continue the dysregulation cycle. I share my own journey and what regulation has done for my daily life, and give you the foundation to start with.

Action Step This week, start with the foundation: nervous system regulation. Throughout your day, notice the physical sensations telling you you're dysregulated - tense shoulders around your ears, holding your breath or shallow breathing, rushing around, or sitting in overwhelm and paralysis. When you catch yourself, interrupt it: slow down your walking, drop your shoulders, take a deep breath. You're "pretending" to be a regulated person (someone not being chased by a bear), and over time your nervous system will start to believe it's true. Don't expect one deep breath to fix everything - it's about repeatedly interrupting the pattern. Remember: to sleep, we first have to pretend to sleep. Same with regulation.

Takeaways

• Real regulation is internal, not external - it's not about bubble baths, rigid routines, or perfect habits, it's about retraining your nervous system, thoughts, and behavior from the inside out
• The three layers of ADHD regulation: body (teaching your nervous system you're safe), mind (rewiring fear-based beliefs like "I'm behind, I need to catch up"), and behavior (shifting from extreme all-or-nothing to balanced, consistent action)
• External regulation (organizing your space, doing yoga, strict routines) is like sprinkles on icing - helpful but not the meat of the work
• Regulation takes time and repetition, just like building muscle at the gym - one deep breath won't regulate you, just like one workout won't make you fit
• You can only regulate in the present moment, and there's only ever one thing to do - interrupt the pattern when you notice it, then do it again, and again

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You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - www.adhdwithjennafree.com/adhdguide Take the free Dysregulation Quiz here - https://adhdwithjennafree.typeform.com/adhdquiz Register for the ADHD at Work 2.0 Workshop - www.adhdwithjennafree.com/adhdwork

Chapters 00:00 Introduction: ADHD at Work and the Severance Episode 01:00 When the Mental Boundary Between Work and Life Disappears 03:00 Why Everything Feels Urgent When You're Dysregulated 05:00 You Can't Work Your Way to Peace 06:00 Signs You've Lost Your Work-Life Severance 08:00 Regulating Your Body at Work and at Home 10:00 The Beliefs Behind Your Urgency 13:00 Regulating Your Behavior: Finding Balance 16:00 My Personal Experience with Work Boundaries 19:00 What Regulation Actually Looks Like 21:00 ADHD at Work 2.0 Workshop Announcement

Summary In this episode, I talk about ADHD at work and how to actually put work in its place - not with better time management or productivity hacks, but with nervous system regulation. If you've ever been at your kid's soccer game and suddenly remembered an email you should have sent, and now your whole body feels uncomfortable until you send it, this is for you. I'm calling this "the Severance episode" after the TV show, because for ADHDers struggling with ADHD burnout and work-life balance, the mental boundary between work and life can completely disappear. I break down why ADHD makes it so hard to stop thinking about work, even when you desperately want to rest. When you're dysregulated, everything feels urgent - you can't stop thinking about work at home, but then when it's actually work time, you might be stuck in ADHD procrastination and overwhelm. It's the worst trap. I explain how working from dysregulation creates more dysregulation, so you'll never work yourself into peace. I also share the three types of regulation you need: body (slowing down, breathing, relaxing tension), mind (challenging beliefs like "if I don't stay on top of this, everything will fall apart"), and behavior (creating consistency instead of extreme work patterns). I share my own journey from obsessively thinking about work 24/7 to now having natural boundaries and actually feeling done at the end of the day. This episode will help you understand why ADHD at work feels so exhausting and what you can actually do about it.

Action Step This week, pick one area to start practicing regulation.

• For your body: slow your walking between meetings or around your house, bring your shoulders down from your ears, and check if you're breathing or holding your breath.
• For your mind: notice when you feel urgent and ask yourself "what belief is driving this urgency?" Is it "if I don't stay on top of this, everything will fall apart" or "if I'm not thinking about it, I'll forget something"?
• For your behavior: set a quitting time and actually stop, regardless of how much you got done. Notice when you think "just one more email" - that's dysregulation trying to externally regulate. Start small with whichever feels most doable.

Takeaways

• For dysregulated ADHD brains, the mental boundary between work and life can completely disappear
• When you're dysregulated, everything feels urgent - this is why you can't stop thinking about work
• You can't work your way to peace - working from dysregulation creates more dysregulation
• Three types of regulation: body (slow down, breathe, relax tension), mind (challenge beliefs behind urgency), behavior (create consistency instead of extremes)
• Regulation gives you the internal ability to turn work off when you want rest, and turn it on when you want to work - that's the real skill

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Take the free Dysregulation Quiz here - https://adhdwithjennafree.typeform.com/adhdquiz Join the waitlist for ADHD Groups (starting January) - www.adhdwithjennafree.com/groups You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - www.adhdwithjennafree.com/adhdguide

Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Boredom and ADHD 01:00 What Does "Boring" Really Mean? 03:00 Boredom as a Nervous System Mechanism 05:00 When Dysregulation Feels Like Boredom 08:00 Boredom Can Be a Motivator for Change 10:00 The Mismatch Between Your State and the Task 12:00 Is Regulation Boring? (Spoiler: No) 15:00 This Week's Practice: Notice Your Body During "Boring" Tasks

Summary In this episode, I talk about ADHD and boredom - something I hear constantly from ADHDers struggling with procrastination and task avoidance. If you've ever said "it's just too boring, I can't do it" about laundry, dishes, emails, or paperwork, this episode is for you. I break down why ADHD makes certain tasks feel unbearably boring, and spoiler - it's not actually about the task itself. It's about ADHD dysregulation showing up as physical discomfort. That crawling-out-of-your-skin feeling when you're trying to focus on "boring" tasks? That's your nervous system, not lack of willpower. Using a real example from one of my ADHD regulation group members who couldn't do her taxes (not because they were hard, but because the ADHD overwhelm and boredom felt like a physical wall), I explain how ADHD procrastination is often really a mismatch between your nervous system state and what the task requires. When your ADHD brain is in fight or flight but the task needs calm, steady focus - that's when everyday tasks feel impossible. I also address the fear that ADHD regulation sounds boring, because we confuse dysregulation with excitement. But the stress chemistry of running late and doing things last minute isn't fun - it's exhausting. ADHD regulation gives you real free time, actual relaxation, better focus, and improved self-esteem. Way more exciting than chaos.

Action Step This week, when you catch yourself saying "this is boring," pause and get curious. What does your body actually feel right now? Pick one task you've been avoiding because it's "boring" - folding laundry, washing dishes, filling out a form - and do it while really noticing what's happening in your body. Are you restless? Rushing to get it over with? Feeling physically uncomfortable? Take a breath and see if you can slow down and match your internal energy to what the task actually requires (which is usually pretty calm and steady). Notice if slowing down and matching the energy makes it less painful. I'd love to hear what you discover.

Takeaways

• Boredom for ADHD brains is often actually dysregulation showing up as physical discomfort - tension, restlessness, that crawling-out-of-your-skin feeling
• The real issue is a mismatch: your internal state is heightened (fight or flight) but the task requires calm, steady action
• For dysregulated ADHD brains, stillness and calm can feel threatening instead of soothing
• Regulation isn't about forcing focus - it's about shifting your internal state so the task doesn't feel like a threat
• We confuse dysregulation with excitement, but that "excitement" is really just stress chemistry (cortisol and adrenaline)
• A regulated life gives you real free time, actual relaxation, and better self-esteem - way more exciting than chaos
• When you're uncomfortable during a task, it's usually because your system has revved up and started rushing
• Sometimes boredom is a signal that something needs to change, but often we're calling dysregulation "boredom" and avoiding things we actually want to get done

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Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Dysregulation Quiz 01:00 Beliefs Are the Roots of the Tree 03:00 The "I'm Behind, I Need to Catch Up" Belief 05:00 What Are Belief Schemas? 07:00 Common ADHD Dysregulated Beliefs 09:00 Perfectionism as a Hidden Belief System 11:00 Step 1 - Name It, Don't Shame It 12:00 Step 2 - Connect Body and Belief Work 14:00 Step 3 - Update Your Schema Over Time 16:00 Bringing It Back to Reality vs. Potential 18:00 You're Rewriting Your Brain's Story 20:00 Noticing When Beliefs Don't Make Sense

Summary

In this episode, I dive into belief schemas - the deep, often subconscious belief systems that keep us dysregulated even when we're working on physical regulation. I explain how beliefs like "I'm behind, I need to catch up," "I can't trust myself," and "something bad will happen if I relax" were formed during childhood (often through the friction of being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world) and continue to trigger our nervous system into fight or flight. Using powerful examples like rushing to a massage appointment or dragging your child home from school for no logical reason, I demonstrate how these beliefs run like software in the background, keeping us stuck in panic, perfectionism, and avoidance. This episode teaches you the three steps to work with dysregulated beliefs: name it without shame, connect the body work with belief work, and update your schema to match your adult reality.

Action Step:

This week, notice when you feel rushed, panicked, or pressured. Pause and ask yourself: "What belief is underneath this feeling right now?" Look for thoughts like "I'm behind," "There's not enough time," "I should be further along," or "Something bad will happen if I stop." Simply bringing awareness to these beliefs is the first powerful step in changing them.

Takeaways

• Regulation isn't just nervous system work - beliefs and thoughts need regulation too.
• Belief schemas are the subconscious lens through which we interpret the world.
• Many ADHD belief systems were formed in childhood from being misunderstood and constantly corrected.
• Common dysregulated beliefs include: "I'm behind, I need to catch up," "I can't trust myself," "If I'm not achieving, I'm failing," and "Something bad will happen if I relax."
• These beliefs trigger the nervous system into dysregulation, even when nothing dangerous is happening.
• The belief "I'm behind" often creates paralysis rather than productivity - it backfires.
• Perfectionism can be hidden - your life may look far from perfect, but the belief system is still running underneath.
• The three steps: Name it (awareness), connect body and belief work together, and update your schema over time.
• You have more autonomy as an adult than your internal system realizes - updating this is crucial.
• Living in "potential" (shoulds, judgments) versus reality keeps you stuck and powerless.
• There's never a logical reason to rush - notice when you're rushing for no reason at all.
• Thought and belief regulation brings you back into your power and the present moment.

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Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Maladaptive Regulation 01:00 What is Maladaptive Regulation? 03:00 Why Self-Compassion Matters 04:00 The Calendar Research Trap Example 06:00 The Scroll and Clean Cycles 08:00 Compulsive vs. Conscious Choices 09:00 Who's Driving Your Regulation Ship? 11:00 Survival Mode vs. Long-Term Goals 13:00 You're Not Actually in Danger 15:00 Bringing Patterns Into Consciousness 17:00 The Three Pieces - Body, Brain, Behavior 19:00 Implementation Over Information 21:00 What is Your Body Protecting You From? 23:00 Finding Real Safety and Regulation

Summary

In this episode, I explore maladaptive regulation - those automatic things we do that temporarily soothe us but ultimately keep us stuck in dysregulation. I explain how scrolling, cleaning before starting work, researching the "perfect" calendar system, and even rumination are your nervous system's unconscious attempts to regulate, not character flaws or laziness. When we leave regulation to our subconscious and nervous system, they prioritize immediate survival over long-term goals, keeping us in circles rather than moving forward. Using powerful examples (like a client who spent months researching calendars instead of using one, or buying a $950 calendar system that never got used), I demonstrate how these patterns work and why awareness is the critical first step. This episode teaches you how to shift from unconscious maladaptive regulation to intentional regulation by working with your body, brain, and behavior.

Action Step

The next time you catch yourself in a maladaptive regulation pattern (scrolling, procrastinating, overthinking, etc.), pause and ask yourself: "What is my body trying to protect me from right now?" Notice any physical tension or discomfort. This simple question begins to shift you from automatic regulation to intentional regulation by bringing awareness to what's happening beneath the surface.

Takeaways

• Maladaptive regulation is your system's unconscious attempt to feel safer, not a character flaw.
• Common examples include scrolling, shopping, cleaning to avoid tasks, researching endlessly, rumination, and overcompensating.
• When it's compulsive (you can't stop yourself), that's maladaptive regulation, not a conscious choice.
• Your subconscious and nervous system only care about immediate survival, not long-term goals.
• These strategies work in the short term but create long-term pain and keep you stuck in circles.
• The pattern is: temporary relief → guilt/shame → deeper dysregulation.
• Over 80% of ADHDers feel self-compassion is a "cop out" - but it's actually essential for regulation.
• You're likely not in actual danger, but your system acts as if you are (survival mode).
• Real regulation requires the conscious mind to "take the wheel" from automatic patterns.
• The three pieces of intentional regulation: Body (physical interruption), Brain (cognitive reframe), Behavior (finding balance).
• The power is in implementation, not collecting more information (which itself can be maladaptive regulation).
• Awareness of maladaptive regulation patterns is always the first critical step.

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Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Vulnerability and ADHD 01:00 What Vulnerability Really Means 03:00 Personal Example - Group Launch Protection 05:00 Subconscious Self-Protection Mechanisms 07:00 Why Vulnerability Feels Dangerous 09:00 How This Shows Up in Different Life Areas 11:00 The Gift of Being Vulnerable 13:00 Getting Your Hopes Up vs. Playing It Safe 15:00 Making Vulnerability Feel Safer 17:00 Reflection Questions and Acting Class Example 20:00 Taking Small Steps Forward

Summary

In this episode, I explore the often-overlooked connection between ADHD, dysregulation, and our ability to be vulnerable. I explain how vulnerability isn't just about sharing feelings with others - it's about the willingness to try things without guarantees, to be seen trying, to risk disappointment. When we're in fight or flight, our nervous system confuses emotional risk with physical danger, causing us to back away from the very things we want most. Using personal examples (including my own experience of cutting a group launch short to avoid potential disappointment), I demonstrate how dysregulation makes us pump the brakes on our goals, relationships, and dreams - not consciously, but as a self-protection mechanism. This episode offers practical ways to start building safety around vulnerability so you can actually go for what you want in life.

Action Step:

Notice one place this week where you're backing off from what you really want because it feels too vulnerable. Ask yourself: Is this dangerous or just uncomfortable? Then make one tiny step forward - go to one yoga class, mention your interest in a promotion once, or try something new without committing fully. The goal is to get evidence that it's safe to try, even if the outcome is uncertain.

Takeaways

• Vulnerability means being willing to be seen, take emotional risks, and try without guarantees.
• When dysregulated, even admitting to yourself that you want something can feel too scary.
• Our nervous system confuses emotional risk (disappointment, embarrassment) with physical danger.
• We often pump the brakes on our goals subconsciously to avoid potential disappointment.
• This shows up everywhere - work, relationships, hobbies, self-care, and even regulation work itself.
• The real risk of vulnerability is just uncomfortable feelings, not actual danger.
• "Don't get your hopes up" is a dysregulated response that actually decreases your chances of success.
• You miss 100% of the shots you don't take - backing off guarantees failure.
• Being vulnerable with yourself (not just others) is crucial for moving forward in life.
• Small exposures to vulnerability build evidence that it's safe to try and want things.
• All feelings, including disappointment and embarrassment, are safe to feel.
• Living without the ability to be vulnerable keeps you trapped and limits your life significantly.

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You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - adhdwithjennafree.com/adhdguide

Chapters

00:00 ADHD Groups Are Open - Join Now 01:00 What is Executive Functioning? 02:00 Self-Regulation and Daily Life Management 04:00 Executive Functioning as Goal-Directed Action 05:00 Can You Increase Executive Functioning? 07:00 The Blindfold Analogy 09:00 Perception Changes Everything 11:00 The Cost of Chronic Fight or Flight 13:00 Client Success Story - PhD Dissertation 15:00 The Power of Believing Change is Possible 16:00 Action Step - Shifting Your Perception 19:00 Working Through Resistance

Summary

In this episode, I dive deep into executive functioning - what it is, why ADHDers struggle with it, and most importantly, whether you can actually improve it. I explain how being in chronic fight or flight dramatically impairs executive functioning by redirecting blood flow away from your prefrontal cortex. Using real client examples, I demonstrate how regulation work can dramatically increase your ability to focus, plan, and execute tasks. I share a powerful action step about shifting your perception from seeing a "brick wall" of tasks to a "brick path" you can take one step at a time. This episode challenges the belief that executive dysfunction is permanent and shows you exactly why regulation work is the key to unlocking your true cognitive capacity.

Action Step:

Practice shifting your perception this week. When you notice feeling overwhelmed by your to-do list or the day ahead (the "brick wall"), mentally lay it down as a "brick path." Identify just the one next step in front of you right now. Focus only on that present moment action, taking it one brick at a time. This trains your brain to think linearly, reduces overwhelm, and signals safety to your nervous system.

Takeaways

• Executive functioning is the management system of your brain that coordinates thoughts and behaviors toward goals.
• Key components include working memory, cognitive flexibility, and impulse control.
• Fight or flight significantly impairs executive functioning by redirecting blood flow from the prefrontal cortex.
• You likely don't know your true executive functioning capacity because you've been dysregulated since childhood.
• Getting out of fight or flight removes the dampening effect on your cognitive abilities.
• Your perception of tasks changes dramatically when dysregulated - everything feels overwhelming.
• Being in chronic fight or flight means suffering all the negative effects without actual danger.
• Real example: A client finished her PhD dissertation in 4 months after 2 years of being stuck.
• Believing improvement is possible is the first critical step to making progress.
• You can only take action in the present moment - hypervigilance about future steps is counterproductive.
• Resistance to regulation work is normal and comes from your dysregulated system trying to protect you.

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Chapters

00:01 Introduction to Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria 02:00 The Bad Review and Initial Reaction 04:00 Understanding the Physical Response 06:00 Reactive vs. Responsive Thinking 08:00 Step-by-Step Regulation Process 10:00 Physical Regulation Techniques 12:00 Cognitive Restructuring and Taking Feedback 14:00 Information vs. Implementation Balance 17:00 Using Criticism Constructively 19:00 The Gift of Taking Feedback 21:00 Final Thoughts and Action Steps

Summary

In this episode, I dive into rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) - that debilitating feeling when criticism makes you want to run away or quit everything. Using a recent podcast review as a real-time example, I walk through exactly how dysregulation shows up physically and mentally when facing criticism, and more importantly, how to regulate through it. I share the specific steps I used to go from heart-racing panic to productive action, demonstrating how regulation allows us to take in valid feedback instead of staying defensive. This episode includes a detailed action plan for managing RSD episodes.

Action Steps for Managing Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria:

1. Observe the dysregulation - Notice physical symptoms (racing heart, clenched stomach, tense shoulders) and mental reactions (all-or-nothing thinking, panic responses)
2. Regulate physically - Take deep breaths, consciously relax your body, remind yourself "I'm safe, this isn't dangerous"
3. Shift your thinking - Challenge catastrophic thoughts, move from reactive to responsive mode
4. Assess the feedback - Once calm, objectively evaluate if there's valid insight to take from the criticism
5. Take productive action - Use the feedback constructively rather than defensively

Takeaways

• Rejection sensitivity dysphoria is dysregulation triggered by perceived criticism or rejection.
• The ADHD brain tends to focus more on negative feedback than positive reviews.
• Physical symptoms include racing heart, stomach clenching, and muscle tension.
• Dysregulation causes cognitive distortions and reactive rather than thoughtful responses.
• Regulation takes practice - your nervous system needs training like building muscle.
• Being able to take feedback non-defensively is a superpower for growth and success.
• You don't need more information, you need consistent implementation of basics.
• It's safe to be imperfect and use criticism as a tool for improvement.
• The goal is responding thoughtfully rather than reacting emotionally.
• Taking feedback well allows you to learn, grow, and improve continuously.

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Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Less is More Philosophy 01:00 The More is More Dysregulated Mindset 02:00 Trying to Do It All vs. Focused Action 03:00 Physical Items and Hoarding Tendencies 05:00 Information and Knowledge Overload 07:00 Prioritization and Focus Strategies 08:00 ADHD Tools and Overcompensation 10:00 Purpose Over Perfectionism 12:00 Abundance vs. Scarcity Mindset 14:00 Episode Length and Content Value

Summary

In this episode, I explore the concept of "less is more" for ADHDers, particularly how dysregulation leads to a "more is more" mindset that actually creates more problems. I discuss how being in fight or flight mode causes us to believe we need more calendars, more lists, more information, and more of everything to feel safe. I cover practical areas where streamlining can help: physical possessions, information consumption, prioritization, ADHD tools, task focus, and developing an abundance mindset. This episode also marks the transition to audio-only format as an example of the less is more philosophy in action.

Takeaways

• Dysregulation causes a "more is more" mindset rooted in scarcity and fear.
• Physical hoarding and keeping items "just in case" stems from feeling unsafe.
• Information overload prevents implementation and creates overwhelm.
• Having too many priorities means having no real priorities.
• Multiple ADHD tools often become counterproductive overcompensation.
• Focusing on task purpose prevents getting stuck in perfectionism.
• True abundance mindset recognizes that "enough" already exists.
• Streamlining creates space for better focus and execution.
• Less work can often produce better results when done intentionally.
• Challenging the "more is more" impulse helps regulate the nervous system.

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Chapters

00:00 Understanding Dysregulation and Its Components 05:02 The Role of the Conscious Mind 12:37 Exploring the Subconscious Mind 14:32 The Nervous System's Impact on Regulation 21:54 Aligning the Three Parts for Regulation

Summary

In this episode of ADHD with Jenna Free, we discuss the intricate relationship between the conscious mind, subconscious mind, and nervous system in the context of dysregulation, particularly for individuals with ADHD. I explain how these three components can often be in conflict, leading to feelings of being stuck or overwhelmed. I emphasize the importance of aligning these parts to achieve emotional regulation and personal growth, providing insights into how to navigate this complex journey.

Takeaways

• Dysregulation can feel like an internal tug of war.
• The conscious mind is aware of the need for change.
• The subconscious holds ingrained beliefs that can hinder progress.
• The nervous system reacts automatically to perceived threats.
• Aligning the conscious, subconscious, and nervous system is crucial for regulation.
• Understanding the invisible barriers is the first step to overcoming them.
• It's normal to feel resistance when trying to slow down.
• Creating new belief systems is essential for personal growth.
• Dysregulated behavior often stems from underlying beliefs.
• Patience and grace are necessary in the journey towards regulation.

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