Join the free "A Regulated Vision for 2026" hangout (January 8th, 10am MST) - https://www.adhdwithjennafree.com/newyears

You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - www.adhdwithjennafree.com/adhdguide Join the waitlist for ADHD Groups (starting January 27-28) - www.adhdwithjennafree.com/waitlist

Chapters 00:00 Introduction: Free Regulated Vision for 2026 Hangout 01:15 Identity and ADHD: How You See Yourself Changes Everything 02:35 The Stereotypical ADHD Identity Trap 04:30 Your Brain Will Fight to Keep Your Identity (Even If You Hate It) 06:00 Identity Acts as a Filter 07:15 My Non-ADHD Example: Intuitive Eating Journey 09:05 My ADHD Identity Shifts 11:00 When ADHD Is No Longer Your Personality 12:25 We Act in Ways That Confirm Who We Believe We Are 14:10 ADHDers Think They Can't Do Long-Term Things 16:00 Notice Where ADHD Language Shrinks You 17:30 Regulation Work Is For People Who Believe Change Is Possible

Summary In this episode, I talk about ADHD identity and how the way you see yourself determines what you attempt, what you tolerate, and how you grow. Most ADHD conversations focus on symptoms, tools, and hacks - very little attention is given to identity. But here's the thing: most change doesn't fail because of effort, it fails because of identity. The stereotypical ADHD identity sounds like "ADHDers can't watch a two-minute video" or "I'm scattered, I can't focus, I do things last minute, I can't follow through." These may describe states or actions (especially when dysregulated), but they get mistaken for traits - for who we are. When we solidify these states into our identity, we stop trying to build capacity, stop trusting ourselves, and regulation feels unrealistic. Your nervous system will work hard to protect your identity, even parts you don't like. Identity acts as a filter - it determines what you notice and dismiss. If you identify as someone who can't focus, you'll unconsciously collect evidence that confirms it. This is why ADHD regulation efforts feel pointless when we think "this is just who I am." I share my journey with intuitive eating (shifting from strict dieter to intuitive eater over 10 years with zero effort now) and my ADHD journey (from "I just do things last minute, that's who I am" to identifying as someone who values slowing down and regulation). When ADHD is no longer your personality or ceiling, when symptoms and dysregulation aren't who you are, everything opens up. People stay consistent through identity, not willpower - you don't have to motivate yourself to act in character. When identity shifts, urgency-based motivation fades and positive motivators come out. Regulation work is for people who believe change is possible and are ready to expand how they see themselves.

Action Step This week, ask yourself: How do I describe myself? What do I identify with? Do the ways I identify make regulation, growth, and the change I'm looking for easier or harder? Notice where ADHD language shrinks you - phrases like "I'm a procrastinator," "I can't focus," "I'm lazy," "I'm not motivated." These keep you stuck. Consider what shifts you might make in how you want to see yourself. Are you someone who values enjoying life? Are your actions showing that? Are you someone who believes change is possible? Start there. You don't have to change who you are, but work on how you see yourself - that's the first step before any regulation work can stick.

Takeaways

• Most ADHD change doesn't fail because of effort, it fails because of identity - the way you see yourself determines what you attempt and what feels possible
• Your brain fights to keep your identity even if you don't like it - going against who you believe you are feels unsafe, so if you identify as "scattered and can't focus," your system will work to keep that
• Identity acts as a filter determining what you notice and dismiss - if you take criticism to heart but dismiss compliments, that's your identity at work
• People stay consistent through identity, not willpower - you don't have to motivate yourself to act in character, you naturally do things that align with how you see yourself
• Regulation work is for people who believe change is possible, value depth over hacks, and are ready to expand how they see themselves - not for people who want to stay inside the ADHD stereotype

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Join the free "A Regulated Vision for 2026" hangout (January 8th, 10am MST) - https://www.adhdwithjennafree.com/newyears

You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - www.adhdwithjennafree.com/adhdguide Join the waitlist for ADHD Groups (starting January 27 & 28) - www.adhdwithjennafree.com/waitlist

Chapters 00:00 Introduction: Why Goals Feel Exhausting 01:00 You've Only Ever Pursued Goals from a Survival State 03:00 Why Relief is Your Primary Dopamine Source 05:00 The Primal Metaphor: Running from the Bear vs Picking Berries 08:00 Why Focusing on the End Goal Keeps You Stuck 11:00 What Regulated Motivation Actually Looks Like 14:00 My Real Life Example: 7 Years Dysregulated vs 2.5 Years Regulated 17:00 Growth is a Long-Term Game 19:00 This Week's Practice: Shift from Sprint to Present

Summary In this episode, I talk about why long-term goals feel impossible with ADHD - and how to actually change that. If goals feel exhausting, you have ideas but pursuing them feels overwhelming and anxiety-fueled, and you can't sustain anything long-term, you're likely dysregulated. Here's what's really happening: you've only ever pursued goals from a survival state, and survival state motivation is sprint motivation. When you're in fight or flight, your body isn't trying to help you grow - it's trying to help you survive or escape. The only motivation that works in that state is urgency, shame, fear, and guilt. This is why you can't start a project until the deadline is hours away, why you crash after submitting something, and why you burn out trying to fix your whole life in a weekend. I share a powerful analogy: you're trying to climb a mountain with "run from the bear" energy, but all meaningful goals require "walk the mountain path to pick berries" energy. These are two completely different nervous system modes. Most ADHDers have only ever operated in sprint mode, but all goals worth having require that steady foraging energy. I break down what keeps you stuck (focusing on completion as the only reward, needing panic to get started) and what regulated motivation actually looks like (steady, sustainable, internally rewarding, about experience not escape). I share my real-life entrepreneur example: 7 years dysregulated getting nowhere versus 2.5 years regulated building consistent momentum. The key isn't trying harder - it's working on the state of your nervous system so you can access that berry-picking energy.

Action Step This week, when you sit down to do something (start small - even washing dishes counts), notice when you get into that sprinting energy of "I gotta get this over with." Shift it to: "For the next few minutes, I'm just going to be present with the task at hand. I'm just gonna do what I'm doing." You're teaching your nervous system: this is safe, I'm not running from a bear, I am picking berries. This disrupts that relief-driven cycle and starts building your capacity for sustainable, long-term effort. Remember: slowing down doesn't mean doing less - it means picking berries instead of running from the bear.

Takeaways

• You've only ever pursued ADHD goals from a survival state, and survival motivation is sprint motivation - urgency, shame, fear, guilt - which can't sustain long-term pursuits
• When dysregulated, relief is your primary dopamine source (just get it over with) versus fulfillment (I want to do this) - this is why you can't stick with goals
• The analogy: you're trying to climb mountains with "run from the bear" energy when you need "walk the path to pick berries" energy - two completely different nervous system modes
• Regulated motivation is steady, sustainable, internally rewarding, and about experience not escape - you can start without panic, continue without adrenaline, stop without self-judgment, and pick up again without dread
• Slowing down and being present with each step (berry-picking energy) will get you to your goals more consistently than sprinting (bear energy) - sustainability beats intensity for anything meaningful

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This is a replay of our foundational Episode 1 - perfect for new listeners or anyone who wants a refresher on The ADHD Regulation Method! (Called the ADHD Reset in this episode)

You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - www.adhdwithjennafree.com/adhdguide

Chapters 00:00 Rethinking ADHD: A New Perspective 11:38 The Journey to Regulation: Finding Balance 19:07 The Impact of Regulation on Daily Life 26:03 Awareness and Acceptance: The Key to Transformation

Summary Hi! I'm Jenna Free, therapist for ADHD with ADHD here to share a transformative perspective on ADHD, emphasizing the importance of understanding that we have ADHD but we are also in fight or flight and that is the true problem. I discuss the concept of dysregulation and how ADHDers often find themselves in a chronic state of fight or flight, which can lead to feelings of overwhelm and paralysis. I am here to advocate for deeper internal work to achieve regulation and balance, moving away from superficial coping strategies. Today I am sharing my unique approach - learning the philosophy of The ADHD Reset (now called the ADHD Regulation Method) is vital in living well with ADHD. From here we will talk about how to implement this in your life and beyond.

Takeaways

• ADHD should be viewed as a brain difference, not a problem.
• Many (all?) ADHDers experience chronic dysregulation and fight or flight.
• Superficial coping strategies are not enough for true transformation.
• Awareness of dysregulation is the first step to change.
• Regulation allows for a more relaxed and sustainable way of living.
• Fear and shame can fuel short bursts of energy but are not sustainable.
• Finding balance is key to managing ADHD symptoms effectively.
• The journey to regulation involves internal work and acceptance.
• Enjoyment of life should be the ultimate goal, not just productivity.
• Transformation is possible with the right approach and mindset.

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You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - www.adhdwithjennafree.com/adhdguide Join the ADHD Regulation Groups waitlist here - www.adhdwithjennafree.com/waitlist

Chapters 00:00 Introduction: ADHD, Aging, and Dysregulation 01:00 Why ADHD Symptoms Feel Worse as You Age 03:00 What Dysregulation Looks Like During Perimenopause and Menopause 05:00 Three Ways to Support Yourself as You Age 08:00 Aging, Appearance, and Dysregulation 12:00 The Society Piece: Pressure on Women 15:00 Celebrity Examples: Linda Hamilton and Justine Bateman 18:00 It's Safe to Age

Summary In this episode, I talk about why ADHD symptoms feel worse as you age - and it's not what you think. A big part of the ADHD aging conversation is hormones, perimenopause, and menopause. The ADHD brain relies heavily on estrogen for dopamine regulation, and when estrogen decreases, we become more dysregulated. A Harvard study showed that lowered estrogen equals an increased startle response - meaning we're more reactive, irritable, and emotionally flooded. This mimics what people call "worsening ADHD" but it's actually worsening dysregulation. This matters because if you think your ADHD is worse, you'll look for external tools, but what you actually need is regulation work. I walk through what dysregulation looks like during perimenopause and menopause (constantly on edge, quick to overwhelm, harder time focusing, sleep disruption) and share three ways to support yourself: regulation work (it takes longer but it's the anchor), radical permission for what you need (more rest, slowing down), and hormonal/medical support from your doctor. Then I dive into something that might get pushback: aging, appearance, and dysregulation. Dysregulated brains fear aging more because our nervous system sees every change as a threat. I share why I believe societal pressure plays a huge role in cosmetic procedures and anti-aging efforts, and how regulation changes our relationship with aging. I share examples from Linda Hamilton and Justine Bateman who've embraced aging confidently, and my own journey with cosmetic procedures I now regret that I did from dysregulation. The goal isn't to love aging, just to stop fearing it so much.

Action Step This week, notice if you're feeling like your ADHD symptoms are getting worse. Ask yourself: is this my ADHD getting worse, or am I more dysregulated right now? If you're in perimenopause, menopause, or experiencing hormonal changes, recognize that what you're experiencing is heightened dysregulation - not a worsening brain. Start or double down on regulation work. It might take longer and feel harder (like lifting heavier weights at the gym), but it's still the thing that's going to make the biggest difference. Also notice: if you have fears about aging (visually, hormonally, or otherwise), ask yourself these questions: Is this danger or discomfort? Is this my preference or my fear? Does this choice come from safety or threat? Just observe. No judgment, just awareness.

Takeaways

• ADHD symptoms feeling worse with age is actually worsening dysregulation - the ADHD brain relies on estrogen for dopamine regulation, and perimenopause/menopause decrease estrogen, making us more reactive and dysregulated
• What feels like worsening ADHD is your body's sense of safety shifting - the symptoms of ADHD and dysregulation are almost interchangeable, so regulation work becomes even more important as you age
• Three ways to support yourself: regulation work (the anchor that creates stability), radical permission for what you need (more rest, slowing down), and hormonal/medical support from your doctor
• Dysregulated brains fear aging more because our nervous system sees every change as a potential threat - regulated brains tolerate change better, including physical change
• Societal pressure on women to stay young impacts us more when we're dysregulated - the goal isn't to love aging, just to stop fearing it so much so you can make conscious choices instead of compulsive ones

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You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - www.adhdwithjennafree.com/adhdguide

Chapters 00:00 Introduction: Meds and Regulation - Do They Go Together? 02:00 What ADHD Medication Actually Does 04:00 The Gas vs The Steering Wheel Analogy 06:00 Medication is a Tool, Not the Foundation 08:00 What ADHD Meds Can and Can't Do 10:00 Medication Can Magnify Your Current State 13:00 Trial and Error is Normal (And Expected) 15:00 Possible Side Effects and Who Can't Take Meds 17:00 Where Regulation Work Fits In

Summary In this episode, I clarify my stance on ADHD medication and where it fits with regulation work. This isn't about whether you should or shouldn't take meds - that's deeply personal. But I want to give you context on what to expect and why both can work together beautifully. ADHD medication and regulation do two very different things. Medication is like gas in your tank - it helps with attention, impulsivity, working memory, and brain fog. But regulation provides the steering wheel, brakes, and pedals - it gives you the ability to actually maneuver with that energy. Medication doesn't regulate your nervous system, change fear-based beliefs, or get you out of fight or flight. I share results from a poll where the most common response about what meds help with was "I don't know" - which shows how important it is to get clear on what you want from medication. Medication can magnify the state you're in, so if you're dysregulated, stimulants might intensify that frantic energy. Whether meds work for you or not, regulation work should be the foundation - it helps every ADHDer with no side effects or downsides.

Action Step This week, if you're on ADHD medication, get really honest with yourself: What do I want from my medication? Is it doing what I want it to do? How do I actually feel on it - not just "am I more productive" but am I present, am I happy, am I enjoying my day, or am I just anxious and getting more paperwork done? You are the expert on how it feels in your body. If you don't love how you feel, it doesn't mean meds aren't right for you or that you don't have ADHD - it might mean you need a dosage change or different type. Talk to your doctor about it. And whether you're on meds or not, start or continue regulation work as your foundation - it's accessible to everyone and helps with or without medication.

Takeaways

• ADHD medication and regulation work together - meds are like gas in the tank (performance enhancer for brain functions), regulation is the steering wheel, brakes, and pedals (ability to maneuver that energy)
• Medication helps with attention, impulsivity, working memory, and brain fog, but it doesn't regulate your nervous system, change fear-based beliefs, or get you out of fight or flight
• Medication can magnify the state you're in - if you're dysregulated, stimulants might intensify that frantic energy rather than help
• Get clear on what you want from medication and whether it's actually doing that - you're the expert on how it feels in your body, not a chart or your doctor
• Regulation work is the foundation that helps every ADHDer with no side effects or downsides - whether you take meds or not, regulation should be the base everything else builds on

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You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - www.adhdwithjennafree.com/adhdguide Join the waitlist for ADHD Groups (starting January) - www.adhdwithjennafree.com/groups

Chapters 00:00 Introduction: Worrying What People Think 01:00 The Fawn Response: A Safety Mechanism 03:00 The Trap of External Regulation 05:00 It's Safe to Be Misunderstood 07:00 My Garbage Bag Story: Regulation in Action 09:00 How Fawn Costs Us Our Lives 11:00 The Fear No Longer Drives the Bus 13:00 Practice: Who Am I Trying to Keep Safe? 16:00 Building Freedom Through Tiny Moments 18:00 Their Dysregulation Doesn't Have to Be Mine

Summary In this episode, I talk about ADHD people pleasing and the fawn response - why worrying what people think isn't about being nice, it's a nervous system safety response. If you've ever changed what you were going to do because of what someone might think (even a stranger), this is for you. For people with ADHD and chronic dysregulation, the fawn response makes us believe that keeping everyone happy, approved of, and not upset is what keeps us safe. When we've lived in fight or flight for years, our body reads conflict, judgment, or criticism as life-threatening danger - even though logically we know it's not. I explain how this people pleasing pattern is actually external regulation, where we try to control what other people think so we can feel calmer and safer. But here's the trap: when we worry what people think, we're not actually hearing them - we're hearing ourselves and reacting to imaginary opinions as if they're facts. I share a personal story about taking out the garbage with a plastic bag on my head (conditioner treatment) when construction workers were outside, and how I caught myself in the fawn response and chose to do it anyway to show my nervous system I'm safe. The fawn response costs us a lot - we live smaller, shape our lives around imaginary opinions, delay what we want, and let fear dictate our decisions. When we start regulating, we stop needing other people's approval to feel safe. We can handle being misunderstood, judged, or criticized because we know we're safe regardless. This episode gives you a practice to start breaking down these walls and building freedom through tiny moments of choosing what you want to do instead of what feels safest.

Action Step This week, catch yourself hesitating or about to change what you're doing because of what someone might think. Pause and ask: "Who am I trying to keep safe right now? What am I fearing?" Notice the specific worry - are you worried your coworker will think you're lazy if you take a break? That someone will judge you? Once you're aware, take one small step toward what you actually want to do. Push yourself just a little past that discomfort (not obliterating your comfort zone, just stretching it). Go grab that coffee, take that break, ask for that help. See if you can collect evidence that you're safe even when people might be thinking things about you. Remember: their potential thoughts are not dangerous. You are safe.

Takeaways

• ADHD people pleasing isn't about being nice - it's the fawn response, a nervous system safety mechanism where your body believes keeping everyone happy is what keeps you safe
• When we worry what people think, we're not hearing them - we're hearing ourselves and reacting to imaginary opinions as if they're facts
• The fawn response costs us our lives - we live smaller, delay what we want, and let 10% (or way more) of our decisions be dictated by imaginary scenarios
• Real regulation means the fear no longer drives the bus - you can handle being misunderstood, judged, or criticized because you trust you're safe regardless
• Most people aren't thinking about you anyway - they're worried about what you think of them, and any judgment they do have is usually their dysregulation talking

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You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - www.adhdwithjennafree.com/adhdguide Join the waitlist for ADHD Groups (starting January) - www.adhdwithjennafree.com/groups

Chapters 00:00 Introduction: How to Regulate For Real 01:00 Why Tips and Tricks Don't Actually Work 03:00 External vs Internal Regulation 05:00 Regulation Through Avoidance Isn't Real Regulation 07:00 Layer One: The Body (Nervous System Regulation) 09:00 Layer Two: The Mind (Thought and Belief Regulation) 11:00 Layer Three: Behavior (Balanced Action) 15:00 Why People Think Regulation Doesn't Work 18:00 You Don't Have to Do It Perfectly 20:00 What Real Change Looks Like 23:00 Start With the Foundation: Your Nervous System

Summary In this episode, I break down how to actually regulate for real - not with tips, tricks, or surface-level ADHD coping strategies, but with deep, internal work that changes how you function. If you've ever felt frustrated by hearing "just regulate" without knowing what that actually means, or if you've tried breathing exercises and meditation but nothing has fundamentally changed, this episode is for you. I explain why ADHD regulation has been oversimplified by wellness culture into surface-level fixes like bubble baths and rigid routines, and why that approach doesn't create lasting change. Real regulation is internal, not external - it's not about what you do, it's about how you do it. I walk through the three layers of the ADHD regulation method: body (nervous system regulation where you teach your body it's safe), mind (rewiring fear-based beliefs formed in survival mode), and behavior (shifting from extreme all-or-nothing patterns to balanced, sustainable action). I also address why people think regulation doesn't work - expecting instant results instead of gradual re-patterning, confusing calming down with becoming regulated, or stopping at just the nervous system piece without doing the thought and behavior work. This is not a quick fix. It takes time and repetition, just like going to the gym. But the time will pass anyway, and in a year you can either have an entirely new experience of life or continue the dysregulation cycle. I share my own journey and what regulation has done for my daily life, and give you the foundation to start with.

Action Step This week, start with the foundation: nervous system regulation. Throughout your day, notice the physical sensations telling you you're dysregulated - tense shoulders around your ears, holding your breath or shallow breathing, rushing around, or sitting in overwhelm and paralysis. When you catch yourself, interrupt it: slow down your walking, drop your shoulders, take a deep breath. You're "pretending" to be a regulated person (someone not being chased by a bear), and over time your nervous system will start to believe it's true. Don't expect one deep breath to fix everything - it's about repeatedly interrupting the pattern. Remember: to sleep, we first have to pretend to sleep. Same with regulation.

Takeaways

• Real regulation is internal, not external - it's not about bubble baths, rigid routines, or perfect habits, it's about retraining your nervous system, thoughts, and behavior from the inside out
• The three layers of ADHD regulation: body (teaching your nervous system you're safe), mind (rewiring fear-based beliefs like "I'm behind, I need to catch up"), and behavior (shifting from extreme all-or-nothing to balanced, consistent action)
• External regulation (organizing your space, doing yoga, strict routines) is like sprinkles on icing - helpful but not the meat of the work
• Regulation takes time and repetition, just like building muscle at the gym - one deep breath won't regulate you, just like one workout won't make you fit
• You can only regulate in the present moment, and there's only ever one thing to do - interrupt the pattern when you notice it, then do it again, and again

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You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - www.adhdwithjennafree.com/adhdguide Take the free Dysregulation Quiz here - https://adhdwithjennafree.typeform.com/adhdquiz Register for the ADHD at Work 2.0 Workshop - www.adhdwithjennafree.com/adhdwork

Chapters 00:00 Introduction: ADHD at Work and the Severance Episode 01:00 When the Mental Boundary Between Work and Life Disappears 03:00 Why Everything Feels Urgent When You're Dysregulated 05:00 You Can't Work Your Way to Peace 06:00 Signs You've Lost Your Work-Life Severance 08:00 Regulating Your Body at Work and at Home 10:00 The Beliefs Behind Your Urgency 13:00 Regulating Your Behavior: Finding Balance 16:00 My Personal Experience with Work Boundaries 19:00 What Regulation Actually Looks Like 21:00 ADHD at Work 2.0 Workshop Announcement

Summary In this episode, I talk about ADHD at work and how to actually put work in its place - not with better time management or productivity hacks, but with nervous system regulation. If you've ever been at your kid's soccer game and suddenly remembered an email you should have sent, and now your whole body feels uncomfortable until you send it, this is for you. I'm calling this "the Severance episode" after the TV show, because for ADHDers struggling with ADHD burnout and work-life balance, the mental boundary between work and life can completely disappear. I break down why ADHD makes it so hard to stop thinking about work, even when you desperately want to rest. When you're dysregulated, everything feels urgent - you can't stop thinking about work at home, but then when it's actually work time, you might be stuck in ADHD procrastination and overwhelm. It's the worst trap. I explain how working from dysregulation creates more dysregulation, so you'll never work yourself into peace. I also share the three types of regulation you need: body (slowing down, breathing, relaxing tension), mind (challenging beliefs like "if I don't stay on top of this, everything will fall apart"), and behavior (creating consistency instead of extreme work patterns). I share my own journey from obsessively thinking about work 24/7 to now having natural boundaries and actually feeling done at the end of the day. This episode will help you understand why ADHD at work feels so exhausting and what you can actually do about it.

Action Step This week, pick one area to start practicing regulation.

• For your body: slow your walking between meetings or around your house, bring your shoulders down from your ears, and check if you're breathing or holding your breath.
• For your mind: notice when you feel urgent and ask yourself "what belief is driving this urgency?" Is it "if I don't stay on top of this, everything will fall apart" or "if I'm not thinking about it, I'll forget something"?
• For your behavior: set a quitting time and actually stop, regardless of how much you got done. Notice when you think "just one more email" - that's dysregulation trying to externally regulate. Start small with whichever feels most doable.

Takeaways

• For dysregulated ADHD brains, the mental boundary between work and life can completely disappear
• When you're dysregulated, everything feels urgent - this is why you can't stop thinking about work
• You can't work your way to peace - working from dysregulation creates more dysregulation
• Three types of regulation: body (slow down, breathe, relax tension), mind (challenge beliefs behind urgency), behavior (create consistency instead of extremes)
• Regulation gives you the internal ability to turn work off when you want rest, and turn it on when you want to work - that's the real skill

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Take the free Dysregulation Quiz here - https://adhdwithjennafree.typeform.com/adhdquiz Join the waitlist for ADHD Groups (starting January) - www.adhdwithjennafree.com/groups You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - www.adhdwithjennafree.com/adhdguide

Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Boredom and ADHD 01:00 What Does "Boring" Really Mean? 03:00 Boredom as a Nervous System Mechanism 05:00 When Dysregulation Feels Like Boredom 08:00 Boredom Can Be a Motivator for Change 10:00 The Mismatch Between Your State and the Task 12:00 Is Regulation Boring? (Spoiler: No) 15:00 This Week's Practice: Notice Your Body During "Boring" Tasks

Summary In this episode, I talk about ADHD and boredom - something I hear constantly from ADHDers struggling with procrastination and task avoidance. If you've ever said "it's just too boring, I can't do it" about laundry, dishes, emails, or paperwork, this episode is for you. I break down why ADHD makes certain tasks feel unbearably boring, and spoiler - it's not actually about the task itself. It's about ADHD dysregulation showing up as physical discomfort. That crawling-out-of-your-skin feeling when you're trying to focus on "boring" tasks? That's your nervous system, not lack of willpower. Using a real example from one of my ADHD regulation group members who couldn't do her taxes (not because they were hard, but because the ADHD overwhelm and boredom felt like a physical wall), I explain how ADHD procrastination is often really a mismatch between your nervous system state and what the task requires. When your ADHD brain is in fight or flight but the task needs calm, steady focus - that's when everyday tasks feel impossible. I also address the fear that ADHD regulation sounds boring, because we confuse dysregulation with excitement. But the stress chemistry of running late and doing things last minute isn't fun - it's exhausting. ADHD regulation gives you real free time, actual relaxation, better focus, and improved self-esteem. Way more exciting than chaos.

Action Step This week, when you catch yourself saying "this is boring," pause and get curious. What does your body actually feel right now? Pick one task you've been avoiding because it's "boring" - folding laundry, washing dishes, filling out a form - and do it while really noticing what's happening in your body. Are you restless? Rushing to get it over with? Feeling physically uncomfortable? Take a breath and see if you can slow down and match your internal energy to what the task actually requires (which is usually pretty calm and steady). Notice if slowing down and matching the energy makes it less painful. I'd love to hear what you discover.

Takeaways

• Boredom for ADHD brains is often actually dysregulation showing up as physical discomfort - tension, restlessness, that crawling-out-of-your-skin feeling
• The real issue is a mismatch: your internal state is heightened (fight or flight) but the task requires calm, steady action
• For dysregulated ADHD brains, stillness and calm can feel threatening instead of soothing
• Regulation isn't about forcing focus - it's about shifting your internal state so the task doesn't feel like a threat
• We confuse dysregulation with excitement, but that "excitement" is really just stress chemistry (cortisol and adrenaline)
• A regulated life gives you real free time, actual relaxation, and better self-esteem - way more exciting than chaos
• When you're uncomfortable during a task, it's usually because your system has revved up and started rushing
• Sometimes boredom is a signal that something needs to change, but often we're calling dysregulation "boredom" and avoiding things we actually want to get done

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Take the free Dysregulation Quiz here - https://adhdwithjennafree.typeform.com/adhdquiz

Join the waitlist for ADHD Groups (starting January) - adhdwithjennafree.com/groups

You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - adhdwithjennafree.com/adhdguide

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Dysregulation Quiz 01:00 Beliefs Are the Roots of the Tree 03:00 The "I'm Behind, I Need to Catch Up" Belief 05:00 What Are Belief Schemas? 07:00 Common ADHD Dysregulated Beliefs 09:00 Perfectionism as a Hidden Belief System 11:00 Step 1 - Name It, Don't Shame It 12:00 Step 2 - Connect Body and Belief Work 14:00 Step 3 - Update Your Schema Over Time 16:00 Bringing It Back to Reality vs. Potential 18:00 You're Rewriting Your Brain's Story 20:00 Noticing When Beliefs Don't Make Sense

Summary

In this episode, I dive into belief schemas - the deep, often subconscious belief systems that keep us dysregulated even when we're working on physical regulation. I explain how beliefs like "I'm behind, I need to catch up," "I can't trust myself," and "something bad will happen if I relax" were formed during childhood (often through the friction of being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world) and continue to trigger our nervous system into fight or flight. Using powerful examples like rushing to a massage appointment or dragging your child home from school for no logical reason, I demonstrate how these beliefs run like software in the background, keeping us stuck in panic, perfectionism, and avoidance. This episode teaches you the three steps to work with dysregulated beliefs: name it without shame, connect the body work with belief work, and update your schema to match your adult reality.

Action Step:

This week, notice when you feel rushed, panicked, or pressured. Pause and ask yourself: "What belief is underneath this feeling right now?" Look for thoughts like "I'm behind," "There's not enough time," "I should be further along," or "Something bad will happen if I stop." Simply bringing awareness to these beliefs is the first powerful step in changing them.

Takeaways

• Regulation isn't just nervous system work - beliefs and thoughts need regulation too.
• Belief schemas are the subconscious lens through which we interpret the world.
• Many ADHD belief systems were formed in childhood from being misunderstood and constantly corrected.
• Common dysregulated beliefs include: "I'm behind, I need to catch up," "I can't trust myself," "If I'm not achieving, I'm failing," and "Something bad will happen if I relax."
• These beliefs trigger the nervous system into dysregulation, even when nothing dangerous is happening.
• The belief "I'm behind" often creates paralysis rather than productivity - it backfires.
• Perfectionism can be hidden - your life may look far from perfect, but the belief system is still running underneath.
• The three steps: Name it (awareness), connect body and belief work together, and update your schema over time.
• You have more autonomy as an adult than your internal system realizes - updating this is crucial.
• Living in "potential" (shoulds, judgments) versus reality keeps you stuck and powerless.
• There's never a logical reason to rush - notice when you're rushing for no reason at all.
• Thought and belief regulation brings you back into your power and the present moment.

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