Introduction
I must say, that for the first half of my pediatric career, I was oblivious to the knowledge of how frequently and seriously bullying harms children. I just wasn't aware that bullying was at the root of a lot of the illness in school age children that I was seeing...until I began to ask. When I ask a child with a recurring stomachaches or headaches if anyone is bullying them and I see that tense facial expression form or possibly a little moistening of their eyes, then I know. I have learned in recent years to routinely ask about this important issue! It is not surprising to me that I recently saw bullying on a list of the most frequent concerns of parents. In fact it was the number one worry among parents with school-aged children. Sounds pretty important and a topic that deserves an entire pedcast so in today's installment of Portable Practical Pediatrics, I’m going to bring you up to speed on some of the newest information about the important topic of childhood bullying. Stay informed, stay engaged, and most importantly, stay tuned to hear this important edition of Portable Practical Pediatrics.
Musical introduction
Defining bullying
Let's begin this discussion by defining what constitutes bullying behavior. Of course, there is a line between bullying, teasing, or practical jokes. More on that in a few minutes. First let's talk hard-core bullying. Behavior that everyone agrees crosses the line into bully land. These behaviors have to have the following features, what I will call the core features of bullying.
Core Features:
-To qualify as bullying behavior it needs to be repetitive and delivered over an extended period of time.
-Bullying behavior intends to inflict some type of harm to a victim.
-And finally, the target of the bullying behavior pits the stronger against the weaker.
As it turns out that bullying is very very common among children, happening to 35% of children sometime between their school age years and their high school graduation. That means that one out of three children will be bullied during their primary school years. Given that as a backdrop, it is not surprising that 75% of school shootings are linked to bullying or harassment of the shooter and 15% of absenteeism from school on any given day is thought to be due to the bullied victims avoiding school. Mix together a bullied victim with some mental illness, and you may just get a school shooter.
As for the methods that bullies use, there are four primary methods that they deliver their control over their victims:
Method 1: Physical - This consists of hitting, slapping, pushing, pinching etc.
Method 2: Verbal - Demeaning talk, manipulating relationships, threats, and verbal abuse.
Method 3: Cyberbullying- Obviously a growing category of bullying behavior and one that parents need to be particularly aware of; things like using social media, a very public forum, to send cruel or threatening messages, posting lies about the victim or even embarrassing pictures. Repeatedly sending threatening texts to a victim would also be an example of cyber bullying.
Method 4: Ostracism- Purposefully targeting a child victim to be excluded socially from their peers by spreading lies and rumors or encouraging others to ignore the victim would fall into this category, something that children seem particularly good at.
What is the difference between just being mean to someone and bullying?
Is teasing bullying? Well, it depends. Most teasing is not bullying but yes if it rises to the level to meet the three essential ingredients of bullying (repetitive, intended to harm, and delivered by a stronger child to a weaker one).
Is saying something negative about someone behind their back bulling?- Well again, it depends.