Ducking Realitea

Send us Fan Mail

This episode of Touch of the Tism begins in classic chaotic fashion, studio mishaps, Seattle dogs, retail exhaustion, but quickly shifts into something deeper.

Holly opens up about losing a longtime friend under complicated and painful circumstances. The conversation moves through grief, survivor’s guilt, boundaries, addiction, and the impossible “what ifs” we replay when someone dies. Siobhan shares her own experiences with loss, including the guilt that pushed her into therapy. Danielle reflects on losing her father and the long tail of grief that never fully disappears, just evolves.

The trio explores what it means to set boundaries with people who are struggling, how loving someone doesn’t mean you can save them, and why laughter and dark humor sometimes become survival tools. They also touch on mental health resources, community support, and the political climate that shapes how safe (or unsafe) people feel seeking help.

Through stories about funerals, cremation mishaps, immigrant Lyft drivers, and volunteer work, the conversation lands on one core truth:

Grief is the price of love.
 And joy is still available, even in the middle of it.

This episode is vulnerable, wide-ranging, and deeply human.

Support the show

Thanks for hanging in the pond, my ducks 🐤

Where we keep it honest, casual conversations about serious sh*t, and somehow still find a way to laugh through it.

If you felt something, send it to someone you love… or someone who might need a little push.

Follow along:
https://www.instagram.com/duckingrealitea/

And go out there and find your joy, even if it’s a little chaotic.

Stay curious, stay joyful…
you’re deeply loved, my ducks.

Send us Fan Mail

This week in The Pond, Siobhan sits down with singer, performer, and emcee Sheena Lokelani for a wildly honest, laugh-through-the-chaos conversation about music, motherhood, dating, and growing into your power. Sheena shares how her journey started in a Filipino family band in her twenties, paused for parenting, and then unexpectedly reignited through open mics (including one gloriously chaotic, slightly drunk first attempt at Fireside). 

From there it’s festival stages, packed restaurants, and emceeing crowds of 17,000, while still getting stage fright every single time. They dive into what almost made her quit music (spoiler: too many opinions from men), how she reclaimed it as therapy instead of pressure, and wander through divorce, co‑parenting with respect, online dating disasters, perimenopause realness, and raising emotionally intelligent teens. 

Funny, tender, political without being preachy, and deeply human, this episode is about saying yes to the scary stuff, protecting your energy, and remembering that being kind, and having standards, is still radical.

Support the show

Thanks for hanging in the pond, my ducks 🐤

Where we keep it honest, casual conversations about serious sh*t, and somehow still find a way to laugh through it.

If you felt something, send it to someone you love… or someone who might need a little push.

Follow along:
https://www.instagram.com/duckingrealitea/

And go out there and find your joy, even if it’s a little chaotic.

Stay curious, stay joyful…
you’re deeply loved, my ducks.

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode of Ducking Realitea, Siobhan sits down with Brianna Devlin, a museum nerd and history lover who turned a lifelong fascination with Alameda’s Pinball Museum into a career, and a path to graduate school.

Brianna shares how growing up on the “storybook” island of Alameda shaped her love of community and culture, and how a late-night search for “museums near me” led her from front desk staffer to exhibit curator at the Pacific Pinball Museum. Together, they explore the surprisingly rebellious history of pinball — from moral panics and bans to its redemption as a skill-based game — and why interactive museums matter more than ever.

The conversation expands into women’s contributions to pinball, post-COVID community building, chosen family, and the belief that joy itself can be an act of resistance. At its core, this episode is about finding purpose through play, preserving history without pretension, and creating spaces where people can connect, learn, and belong.

Support the show

Thanks for hanging in the pond, my ducks 🐤

Where we keep it honest, casual conversations about serious sh*t, and somehow still find a way to laugh through it.

If you felt something, send it to someone you love… or someone who might need a little push.

Follow along:
https://www.instagram.com/duckingrealitea/

And go out there and find your joy, even if it’s a little chaotic.

Stay curious, stay joyful…
you’re deeply loved, my ducks.

Send us Fan Mail

Siobhan sits down with returning guest Lee Williams, and her very vocal dog, Tiburon, to talk about trauma, healing, and the quiet ways safety gets rebuilt.

After experiencing a terrifying home invasion, Lee’s sense of security was shattered. Locks and cameras helped, but fear lingered. Enter Tiburon: a nine-month-old Siberian Husky adopted almost on instinct, whose size offered protection, but whose presence offered something far more powerful. Through daily walks, routine, responsibility, and relentless energy, Tiburon forced Lee back into the world at a time when depression was pulling her inward.

Together, Siobhan and Lee explore the emotional aftermath of trauma, the reality of living with flashbacks, and how animals, especially rescues, can become anchors in our healing. They talk husky chaos, destructive phases, exercise demands, and the deep intelligence of working dogs, alongside heavier conversations about mental health, loss, and survival.

This episode also celebrates community: neighborhood bars, familiar faces, rescue organizations, and the small rituals that make us feel safe again. At its heart, this is a story about choosing life, choosing care, and how sometimes the thing that saves you doesn’t speak, but insists you get out of bed anyway.

Support the show

Thanks for hanging in the pond, my ducks 🐤

Where we keep it honest, casual conversations about serious sh*t, and somehow still find a way to laugh through it.

If you felt something, send it to someone you love… or someone who might need a little push.

Follow along:
https://www.instagram.com/duckingrealitea/

And go out there and find your joy, even if it’s a little chaotic.

Stay curious, stay joyful…
you’re deeply loved, my ducks.

Send us Fan Mail

This episode of Ducking Realitea is a chaotic, tender wander through the life of Johnny Dismal: bartender-turned–festival boss, punk rocker, and darkly hilarious visual artist. Johnny and Siobhan trace his journey from a childhood bouncing between Air Force bases in Europe to becoming a self-described “Masshole” obsessed with hardcore shows along the New England coast.

Johnny unpacks how music and art showed up early—parents spinning John Denver and Peter, Paul and Mary, while he snuck horror flicks and formed teenage bands with friends who barely knew how to hold their instruments. A brutal early critique (“you have absolutely no talent”) became a lifelong vow to never shit on anyone’s creative dreams, a value that quietly shapes everything he does.

They go deep into festival bartending and people management: herding 600 bartenders, de-escalating drunk chaos, and why you should never punch a guest over twenty-five cents in tip money.

Johnny and Siobhan riff on grief, humor, classism vs. racism in Boston, walking as therapy, and why bars still matter as community hubs—even if you don’t drink.

It’s a conversation about art, work, chosen family, and humanity from two folks who’ve spent decades doing that shit from behind the bar.

Support the show

Thanks for hanging in the pond, my ducks 🐤

Where we keep it honest, casual conversations about serious sh*t, and somehow still find a way to laugh through it.

If you felt something, send it to someone you love… or someone who might need a little push.

Follow along:
https://www.instagram.com/duckingrealitea/

And go out there and find your joy, even if it’s a little chaotic.

Stay curious, stay joyful…
you’re deeply loved, my ducks.

Send us Fan Mail

Siobhan sits down with artist and entrepreneur Sarah Woodruff to talk about what it really means to live creatively, without apology. Sarah shares her winding journey through thrift-store fashion eras, owning multiple businesses in her twenties, founding a burlesque troupe, singing in bands, and eventually stepping away from a soul-draining corporate job to rebuild her life (and studio) on her own terms.

They explore the difference between confidence and comfort in your own skin, the grief of losing joy when creativity becomes transactional, and the relief that comes from realizing you’re not meant for everyone. Sarah opens up about self-criticism, ADHD tendencies, perfection paralysis, and how returning to playful, low-stakes creation through the Alameda Gallery & Collective helped her reconnect with joy.

The conversation weaves through motherhood, long-term partnership, bar culture as community, boundaries, gossip, and the responsibility that comes with sharing your story publicly. It’s a reminder that art doesn’t need permission, that growth is messy, and that being “a lot” is often exactly the point.

If you’ve ever dimmed yourself to fit, this episode will gently (and hilariously) remind you to turn the light back on.

Support the show

Thanks for hanging in the pond, my ducks 🐤

Where we keep it honest, casual conversations about serious sh*t, and somehow still find a way to laugh through it.

If you felt something, send it to someone you love… or someone who might need a little push.

Follow along:
https://www.instagram.com/duckingrealitea/

And go out there and find your joy, even if it’s a little chaotic.

Stay curious, stay joyful…
you’re deeply loved, my ducks.

Send us Fan Mail

What are the odds an adopted kid is a perfect kidney match for their dad?
Jamey Aspel’s story is one in a million—and somehow also painfully human.

In this funny and deeply honest conversation, Jamey joins Siobhan to talk about growing up adopted in evangelical Appalachia, coming of age as a gay kid in a world that told him he was wrong, and the jaw-dropping moment he discovered he was a near-perfect kidney donor match for his adopted father. What began as “I’ll just get tested” became major surgery, a decade of life gifted back, and a reckoning with love, obligation, identity, and faith.

Along the way, Jamey opens up about religious trauma, late coming-out, estrangement, grief, therapy, and learning how to move beyond survival toward real growth. Equal parts heartbreaking and hilarious, this episode is about resilience, chosen family, and choosing joy, even when the world is still very much on fire.

Support the show

Thanks for hanging in the pond, my ducks 🐤

Where we keep it honest, casual conversations about serious sh*t, and somehow still find a way to laugh through it.

If you felt something, send it to someone you love… or someone who might need a little push.

Follow along:
https://www.instagram.com/duckingrealitea/

And go out there and find your joy, even if it’s a little chaotic.

Stay curious, stay joyful…
you’re deeply loved, my ducks.

Send us Fan Mail

In this milestone 60th episode, Siobhan is joined by Danielle and Holly for a wide-ranging, deeply candid conversation that feels less like a podcast and more like sitting at a bar with people who actually care about the world, and each other.

They talk about community as a form of survival, especially in a time when the news cycle feels relentless and overwhelming. From taking intentional breaks from social media to protect mental health, to the unspoken rules of neighborhood bars as places where empathy, accountability, and respect are still taught in real time, the trio reflects on what it means to show up for people without burning yourself out.

The episode weaves humor and heaviness seamlessly, touching on politics, cultural identity, generational differences, drugs (with harm-reduction honesty), grief, forgiveness, and the ripple effect of small acts of kindness. They explore the idea that people are allowed to change their minds, that identity shouldn’t be a prison, and that grace is often more powerful than outrage.

At its core, this episode is about choosing humanity, starting small, staying local, and remembering that community isn’t an abstract concept. It’s the people in the room, the bar down the street, and the way we treat each other when no one’s watching.

Support the show

Thanks for hanging in the pond, my ducks 🐤

Where we keep it honest, casual conversations about serious sh*t, and somehow still find a way to laugh through it.

If you felt something, send it to someone you love… or someone who might need a little push.

Follow along:
https://www.instagram.com/duckingrealitea/

And go out there and find your joy, even if it’s a little chaotic.

Stay curious, stay joyful…
you’re deeply loved, my ducks.

Send us Fan Mail

Steve “Stevie” Lofgren might technically be “just” a bartender, but this conversation makes it clear he’s also a philosopher in a leather jacket, the kind you meet at 1am who accidentally helps you rethink your whole life. Siobhan and Stevie trace their friendship from late-night bar hangs to 4am world-saving sessions, then dive headfirst into his wild, unfiltered Oakland upbringing.

Growing up in 70s/80s Oakland as one of the only white kids on the block, Stevie learned early that neighborhood codes mattered more than police, respect kept you safe, and you absolutely did not mess with your neighbors. He shares stories of hippie parents, beaded doorways, and a household where mom’s boyfriend lived with dad, until the bombshell moment when his parents moved out while he was still in high school, leaving him and his brother the house, a hundred bucks on the fridge, and zero supervision. Cue legendary parties, punk bands, early acting gigs, and a lifetime of DIY survival skills.

From there, the conversation moves through grief and loss, friends dying too young, cancer ripping through people they love, and how both of them learned to live with grief instead of being swallowed by it. They talk chronic pain, burnout, “non-people days,” bartending as performance art, and why neighborhood bars might be one of the last real classrooms for learning how to be a good human in public.

It’s messy, funny, tender, and deeply honest,  an ode to chosen family, dark humor, and choosing joy without pretending the darkness isn’t there.

Support the show

Thanks for hanging in the pond, my ducks 🐤

Where we keep it honest, casual conversations about serious sh*t, and somehow still find a way to laugh through it.

If you felt something, send it to someone you love… or someone who might need a little push.

Follow along:
https://www.instagram.com/duckingrealitea/

And go out there and find your joy, even if it’s a little chaotic.

Stay curious, stay joyful…
you’re deeply loved, my ducks.

Send us Fan Mail

What’s it really like to work alongside a police dog? On this episode of Squirrel Gurls, we sit down with Officer Fetzer from the Alameda, California Police Department K9 Unit to get an inside look at life as a K9 cop. From her path from law school to the K9 unit to the unique bond she shares with her partner, Ace, this episode dives into a world most of us only see from a distance.

Officer Fetzer shares gripping and entertaining stories from Ace’s training and work as a detection dog, specializing in sniffing out firearms and ammunition. She also explains the different types of dogs used in K9 units, how they are chosen for specific roles, and the rigorous training required to turn a dog into a skilled law enforcement partner. Listeners also get a peek into their home life, where Ace gets to relax and bond with his handler away from the streets.

Whether you’re a dog lover, curious about law enforcement, or just love a good story, this episode is full of insight, heart, and a few surprises along the way.

Support the show

Thanks for hanging in the pond, my ducks 🐤

Where we keep it honest, casual conversations about serious sh*t, and somehow still find a way to laugh through it.

If you felt something, send it to someone you love… or someone who might need a little push.

Follow along:
https://www.instagram.com/duckingrealitea/

And go out there and find your joy, even if it’s a little chaotic.

Stay curious, stay joyful…
you’re deeply loved, my ducks.