Ducking Realitea

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In this deeply moving episode of Ducking Realitea, Siobhan sits down with her friend Thu, who shares the extraordinary story of her family’s escape from Vietnam to the United States. Through multiple attempts, encounters with pirates, and time spent in refugee camps across Thailand, Malaysia, and the Philippines, Thu’s early life was shaped by survival, strength, and sacrifice. Eventually settling in California, her family faced poverty, displacement, and the challenge of adapting to American life.

Thu reflects on her cultural identity, the complexities of assimilation, and the long-term impact of her upbringing on her relationships, values, and view of ambition. She opens up about her love of Burning Man, her evolving definition of home, and the healing power of hugs — yes, science says we need at least seven a day just to feel OK.

Together, Thu and Siobhan explore the highs and lows of building community, what it means to live authentically, and how immigration policies continue to shape lives like hers. As Thu prepares for a cross-country move to Virginia in search of better balance, she leaves us with wisdom on simplicity, connection, and the real meaning of resilience.

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Thanks for hanging in the pond, my ducks 🐤

Where we keep it honest, casual conversations about serious sh*t, and somehow still find a way to laugh through it.

If you felt something, send it to someone you love… or someone who might need a little push.

Follow along:
https://www.instagram.com/duckingrealitea/

And go out there and find your joy, even if it’s a little chaotic.

Stay curious, stay joyful…
you’re deeply loved, my ducks.

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This week on Ducking Realitea, I sit down with my mentor, former boss, and lifelong badass Sandy Russell, someone I talk about all the time for good reason. Sandy is co-owner of Alameda’s beloved Fireside Lounge, a community hub known for live music, trivia, queer-friendly fundraisers, and the iconic “Be Nice or Leave” sign. But Sandy’s impact goes way beyond the bar.

Born on the Santa Monica boardwalk and hustling by age six, Sandy has built a life rooted in grit, generosity, and radical accountability. During the pandemic, while many bars shut down, Sandy stepped up, launching to-go cocktails, building outdoor event spaces, and helping her staff and community survive one of the hardest chapters in recent history.

She’s also a driving force behind West End Arts and the Healing Garden project, a sober bar owner who’s navigated addiction with honesty and humor, and one of the most gracious leaders I know, equal parts “do better” and “get the fuck out if you can’t be kind.”

We talk about her path from foster care to fierce community builder, why doing the right thing matters (even when no one’s watching), and what it means to keep growing when the world tells you to quit. Sandy’s story is a reminder that healing, hard work, and hilarity can—and should—coexist.

So pour yourself a mocktail (or cocktail), and get ready for a real one. Let’s dive in.

Support the show

Thanks for hanging in the pond, my ducks 🐤

Where we keep it honest, casual conversations about serious sh*t, and somehow still find a way to laugh through it.

If you felt something, send it to someone you love… or someone who might need a little push.

Follow along:
https://www.instagram.com/duckingrealitea/

And go out there and find your joy, even if it’s a little chaotic.

Stay curious, stay joyful…
you’re deeply loved, my ducks.

Send us Fan Mail

Psychic medium and empath Judie Palmer joins us to share her journey of discovering and living with her spiritual gifts — from childhood encounters with spirits to her lifelong connection with her guide, Thomas.

We explore the science behind psychic ability, including the role of energy, vibration, and the eighth cranial nerve, as well as how past lives and soul families shape who we are today. Judy shares practical tools for working with spiritual energy, navigating entity attachments, and setting boundaries.

The conversation touches on signs from beyond (including one involving a Grateful Dead song and a baseball player), the balance between religion and personal spirituality, and the confidentiality of psychic work. Judy also gives us a preview of her upcoming podcast Psych and Soul and her work guiding professional athletes with custom spiritual audio guides.

If you’ve ever wondered about intuition, past lives, or the connection between science and spirit — this one’s for you.

To reach Judie directly : 

Judith Palmer

Professional Psychic Medium & Empath

[email protected]

Nhsoul.com

Support the show

Thanks for hanging in the pond, my ducks 🐤

Where we keep it honest, casual conversations about serious sh*t, and somehow still find a way to laugh through it.

If you felt something, send it to someone you love… or someone who might need a little push.

Follow along:
https://www.instagram.com/duckingrealitea/

And go out there and find your joy, even if it’s a little chaotic.

Stay curious, stay joyful…
you’re deeply loved, my ducks.

Send us Fan Mail

In this thought-provoking and deeply personal episode, Siobhan and Lee dive into the power of understanding intentions behind actions, sparked by a heated debate Siobhan had at a bar—yes, even about something as extreme as becoming a Nazi. Lee emphasizes the importance of having difficult conversations to foster growth and deeper understanding, even when emotions run high.

The conversation takes a personal turn as Lee opens up about her own struggles, including a traumatic break-in and the loss of a close friend, and how therapy and exercise have become vital tools in managing anxiety and depression. Together, they explore the challenge of balancing work, personal life, and mental health, while also finding ways to reclaim joy and creativity.

Siobhan shares her admiration for Lee’s vibrant, artistic spirit, encouraging her to return to burlesque and creative expression. They also discuss Siobhan’s experience with the judicial system, her time in the courtroom, and why she’s fascinated by the process of justice and impartiality.

Of course, it wouldn’t be a Ducking Realitea episode without some unexpected turns—like the importance of bidets and bathroom conveniences, because self-care takes many forms! Plus, Lee gives us a glimpse into her Etsy jewelry business, “Lee Evil Design,” and her plans to expand.

It’s a mix of deep, raw truths and lighthearted moments—because life is both. Press play and join the conversation. 🎙️✨

Support the show

Thanks for hanging in the pond, my ducks 🐤

Where we keep it honest, casual conversations about serious sh*t, and somehow still find a way to laugh through it.

If you felt something, send it to someone you love… or someone who might need a little push.

Follow along:
https://www.instagram.com/duckingrealitea/

And go out there and find your joy, even if it’s a little chaotic.

Stay curious, stay joyful…
you’re deeply loved, my ducks.

Send us Fan Mail

The conversation continues on this episode of Ducking Realitea’s Touch of the Tism: Part Two, where host Siobhan and her guests Danielle and Holly are joined by another familiar voice, Donna. This time, they dive even deeper into the realities of bartending in the Bay Area, sharing the chaos, the comedy, and the unwritten rules that come with life behind the bar.

From the do’s and don’ts of tipping to the frustration of string ordering, they break down the etiquette that every bar regular should know. They swap stories about handling difficult customers, the legal risks of overserving, and the strange ways military presence has shaped local bar culture. Things get even more interesting when Siobhan calls out a guest for being secretive about her ideas, Danielle and Donna share their go-to tactics for shutting down problematic customers, and a jaw-dropping story emerges about a $13,000 bar tab.

It’s a mix of humor, hard truths, and a behind-the-scenes look at an industry that’s equal parts exhilarating and exhausting. Whether you’ve worked behind the bar or just love a good bar story, this one’s worth a listen. Grab a drink, pull up a seat, and join the conversation.

Support the show

Thanks for hanging in the pond, my ducks 🐤

Where we keep it honest, casual conversations about serious sh*t, and somehow still find a way to laugh through it.

If you felt something, send it to someone you love… or someone who might need a little push.

Follow along:
https://www.instagram.com/duckingrealitea/

And go out there and find your joy, even if it’s a little chaotic.

Stay curious, stay joyful…
you’re deeply loved, my ducks.

Send us Fan Mail

Siobhan is joined by Danielle from Danielle Will Still Choose the Bear and Holly from Hot Dogs with Holly as they break in the new podcast studio with a mix of wild personal stories, serious discussions, and unfiltered opinions.

From a stalker story to a taco bar mishap with a questionable banner, this episode swings from hilarious mishaps to hard-hitting truths. The conversation also dives into serious issues like racial slurs, date rape, and the reality of roofies in bars—all explored through the lens of their diverse backgrounds and candid perspectives.

Raw, real, and a little ridiculous—this episode has it all.

Support the show

Thanks for hanging in the pond, my ducks 🐤

Where we keep it honest, casual conversations about serious sh*t, and somehow still find a way to laugh through it.

If you felt something, send it to someone you love… or someone who might need a little push.

Follow along:
https://www.instagram.com/duckingrealitea/

And go out there and find your joy, even if it’s a little chaotic.

Stay curious, stay joyful…
you’re deeply loved, my ducks.

Send us Fan Mail

 Siobhan and Oliver share their powerful journeys through addiction, reflecting on the profound toll it took on their lives. Oliver, once a PhD candidate at UC Berkeley, became trapped in the cycle of addiction. His descent led to theft and a six-month jail sentence—a rock-bottom moment that ultimately became his turning point toward sobriety. Siobhan, meanwhile, was overmedicated with fentanyl, which clouded her memory and strained her relationships. Both describe addiction as a silent, insidious force that slowly erodes life from within. They stress the critical importance of support systems, with Oliver crediting his loved ones—especially Hannah, whose unwavering support played a pivotal role in his recovery. Together, they offer a raw, honest look at the path to healing and the strength it takes to rebuild a life. 

Support the show

Thanks for hanging in the pond, my ducks 🐤

Where we keep it honest, casual conversations about serious sh*t, and somehow still find a way to laugh through it.

If you felt something, send it to someone you love… or someone who might need a little push.

Follow along:
https://www.instagram.com/duckingrealitea/

And go out there and find your joy, even if it’s a little chaotic.

Stay curious, stay joyful…
you’re deeply loved, my ducks.

Send us Fan Mail

 Siobhan and Linda discuss their shared curiosity and the importance of community involvement. Linda, a retired community leader, recounts her journey of giving up her son for adoption at 17 and later reconnecting with him through Ancestry. They reflect on the societal pressures and stigmas faced by teenage mothers in the 1960s. Linda highlights the significance of community spaces like the healing garden in Alameda, which hosts events and fosters a sense of belonging. They also touch on the generational impact of family dynamics and the crucial role of open communication in the healing process. 

Support the show

Thanks for hanging in the pond, my ducks 🐤

Where we keep it honest, casual conversations about serious sh*t, and somehow still find a way to laugh through it.

If you felt something, send it to someone you love… or someone who might need a little push.

Follow along:
https://www.instagram.com/duckingrealitea/

And go out there and find your joy, even if it’s a little chaotic.

Stay curious, stay joyful…
you’re deeply loved, my ducks.

Send us Fan Mail

Siobhan and Danielle discuss the podcast, which has 30 episodes, and Siobhan's discomfort with self-promotion. Danielle shares her journey from the East Bay to Alameda, her career transition from bartending to wildlife conservation, and her volunteer work at the San Luis National Wildlife Refuge. They talk about the importance of spending time in nature, the impact of COVID-19 on their lives, and the challenges of balancing personal and professional responsibilities. Danielle emphasizes the need for diversity in environmental fields and the importance of respecting nature. They also touch on personal relationships, family dynamics, and the emotional toll of past experiences.

Support the show

Thanks for hanging in the pond, my ducks 🐤

Where we keep it honest, casual conversations about serious sh*t, and somehow still find a way to laugh through it.

If you felt something, send it to someone you love… or someone who might need a little push.

Follow along:
https://www.instagram.com/duckingrealitea/

And go out there and find your joy, even if it’s a little chaotic.

Stay curious, stay joyful…
you’re deeply loved, my ducks.

Send us Fan Mail

The conversation between Siobhan and Holly covers a range of topics, including past experiences, work dynamics, and personal preferences. Holly shares stories about their tech internship, musical aspirations, and family dynamics. They discuss the challenges of working in the service industry, including dealing with difficult customers and the impact of job expectations. The conversation also touches on personal anecdotes, such as Siobhan's experiences with mayonnaise and her dislike for it. Additionally, they reflect on grief and the emotional impact of losing loved ones at a young age, highlighting the ongoing nature of grief and its management. 

Support the show

Thanks for hanging in the pond, my ducks 🐤

Where we keep it honest, casual conversations about serious sh*t, and somehow still find a way to laugh through it.

If you felt something, send it to someone you love… or someone who might need a little push.

Follow along:
https://www.instagram.com/duckingrealitea/

And go out there and find your joy, even if it’s a little chaotic.

Stay curious, stay joyful…
you’re deeply loved, my ducks.