Dungeons & Drams - The Deepdive

Gabbage tries to hide a sudden vampiric thirst by shouting "Parkour!" and running up a tree, while the rest of the party stakes a vampire, blows up a drug farm, and sets sail to hunt a wizard who accidentally cloned himself into a civil war.

From Doug losing a crunch-off in his jorts to Gabbage accidentally shooting himself in the neck, the gang proves they are their own worst enemies as they burn, flood, and burglarize their way to a secret gnome submarine.

After failing to consume a hobo and claiming residence on "Fang Island," Gabbage receives the embarrassing diagnosis that his vampiric bloodlust is entirely psychosomatic, leaving the group free to enjoy hot wings at the Lusty Mermaid.

After a traumatic mind-meld and a questionable resurrection, the crew teleports to the frozen wasteland of Icewind Dale, armed with nothing but magical secrets and a pair of fur-lined jean shorts.

Defeating a Yeti mother is all fun and games until the father triggers an avalanche, prompting the druid to fly away while the gnome tests the life-support capabilities of a magical snow globe.

Doug learns the hard way that male yetis are definitely not meatball-sized parasites, leading to a chaotic descent involving grammatical fire spells, questionable gnome math, and a very chilly reception for Perilou.

While Doug accidentally telepathically prank-calls a dragon, the rest of the party attempts to solve a mystery for a Dragonborn leader whose only breath weapon is 80-proof alcohol.

Garret's attempt to 'sleigh' the group with terrible puns is rudely interrupted by a pack of cackling gnolls who decide the party looks like a delicious punchline.

Arriving in Easthaven just in time for a silent execution, the party deals with a judgmental raven, a fireproof hat, and the shocking revelation that the town's mysterious spy is just three kobolds stacked inside a trench coat.

Doug pioneers the martial art of involuntary disco-brawling, while Tuuki learns that executing a "celebratory crouch" over a conscious half-orc assassin is a distinct tactical error.