Are you one of the countless poor souls blighted by the relentless scourge of privilege? Do you lie awake at night, fearing the scorn of your less fortunate friends, worried that they might storm your palace in a fit of redistributional pique? Do you yearn for a bygone age when the lower rungs of society knew their place and regarded their betters with an air of awe and curiosity at God's wisdom, rather than a barely contained fury at the greed and callousness destroying society? Do we have a job at The Times for you!

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