Earwash

In the aftermath of the 2025 Australian Federal election, eroticist Jonathan Crepuscular joins us to share the artistic outpourings the election has inspired in him. By Jonathan's standards, it's quite wholesome

Eroticist Jonathan Crepuscular joins us today to give a surprisingly nuanced analysis of the number of phalluses on the Bayeaux Tapestry and their significance. Includes an eye-watering alternative way that King Harold may have met his end

We are joined today by Jennifer the American, whose political ambitions have expanded to encompass the spiritual as well as the temporal

It's omni-critic and possessor of an inscrutable pan-European accent Horace Perrault's turn to answer some Emergency Questions. Listen enthralled as the self-described greatest critic the world has ever known turns his incisive mind to the purpose of clowns, the emotional attributes of radiators and why it is better to be cold and dependable than warm and largely unused. It's either the product of a great mind or a great bullshitter - listen and decide which it is...

In this episode we are joined by the Earwig, who has an unconventional solution to the Wellington millipede plague

As the deluge of earwashing this week continues, we delve once more in Douglas's notebook to hear what sort of nonsense he considers noteworthy. This episode's iteration contains running themes of of crabs, worms and Freidrich Nietzsche; in other words, a perfectly normal and unremarkable episode of this perfectly normal and not at all deeply strange podcast.

The Easter Bunny has left a large auditory egg in you podcast feed in the form of this episode of Earwash. In an appropriately Easterly ramble you will learn many things, including how best to hide Easter eggs from yourself for hunting purposes, whether Jesus was a tardigrade, and best practice for home crucifixions. Happy Easter to all, particularly invertebrates and friendly Scotsmen.

It's the Earwig's turn to answer some Emergency Questions, and although it is a strangely sushi-focussed episode, you will hear fascinating insights into how Hugh Grant became a star, what Julia Roberts had surgically removed, and why there is a sinister painting of the Earwig in the roof of my house

The hundredth episode calls for something monumental. Unfortunately, Douglas could not think of anything sufficiently monumental, so he decided not to bother. Instead, you can expect to hear 4 minutes and 13 seconds of wholesome gratitude, which is a major change from what this podcast usually is. Oh well, next episode we'll be back to the usual semi-obscene nonsense...

As we assume the brace position in readiness for whatever madness Douglas has in store to celebrate the hundredth episode of Earwash, we can at least listen to some soothing nonsense from his notebbok, and hope that the 100th episode of Earwash makes more sense than his notebooks do