EJSpark Converstaions

WOW! Honestly, I am still speechless and it has been over a week since a chatted with Matt. 

Unfortunately, for many young Australian's Matt's story sounds familiar. 

Just the other day for one of my Uni subjects we had a guest lecturer come in and talk to my cohort about childhood trauma and the impacts it can have on children, adolescents and adults. 1 in 33 children had an investigation, care and protection order and/or was placed in out-of-home care as a result of childhood abuse and substantiated child abuse and neglect have risen by 31% from 2013 (AIHW 2020). Matt speaks about his early days in primary school when he bullied. From the ages of 0 to 6/7 we are essentially programmed by the outer world. We learn everything from the people around us and the experiences we have. For Matt, the bullying he experienced resulted in learning difficulties because psychologically he was affected. He started to armour up. Come his time in high school he just wanted to belong. 

Children who experience some form of trauma are: 

3 times more likely to fail school 

5 times more likely to have severe attendance problems 

6 times more likely to have severe behaviour problems (Blodgett et al., 2015)

This is alarming!! 

This stuff is not spoken about enough!!

For more information on Tomorrowman or Tomorrowwomen visit https://www.tomorrowman.com.au/ or https://www.tomorrowwoman.com.au/

I'm slowly meeting more and more Tomorrowman facilitators in this podcast and it was an absolute privilege to have Rhett on talking about his journey to being a speaker of men's health and wellbeing. Initially, when I first attended a Tomorrowman workshop I thought these blokes who are running the workshop are the bee's knees in what it is to be a man, they know their shit and have their life sorted. But as I have slowly talked to each facilitator and for that matter, all my other guests who I highly admire and look up to in every aspect and I have come realise that they are just like you and I. They all have their own story to tell, have had their own shit times which have actually taught them a lot about themselves and have gradually turned into great times. The universe is going to continue to throw challenges at you which will test you in every aspect but I want you to know that you have the power to ace that test and go onto the next level in your life. Think of it as a video game, you can't go onto the next level which may be a much more appealing level until you have consolidated your understandings and passed the test. 

It's ok to sit in discomfort, this is something I have struggled with big-time but something I am embracing in my life right now. And as Rhett mentions in this conversation you sitting in that discomfort is not a burden on others. Don't be afraid to reach out to anyone. 

You find out more about Tomorrowman at their website https://www.tomorrowman.com.au/ or follow them on Instagram @tomorrowman_au

I had a great conversation with Josh Ward a facilitator @tomorrowman_au and a young enthusiastic bloke who has had so much experience and exposure to the world already.

Josh and I have a chat about his journey to being the man he is today and about checking up on our mates. Today and every other day we need to be sparking those conversations with our friends, loved ones and those around us.

1 in 4 Australians feel like they have no one to turn to for help. Let your mates know that you are there for them. 

Check out Tomorrow Man and Tomorrow Women @ https://www.tomorrowman.com.au/ and https://www.tomorrowwoman.com.au/

EPISODE 30 is here!!! WOWEE!! This came around way to quickly and to be honest I so did not think I would be able to meet 30 different people, hear their journey through their various ups and downs and record it for the podcast. I am feeling EXTREMELY GRATEFUL for everyone that I have sat down with to have a chat, they have all taken time out of their day to chat with this random person who messaged them on Instagram or sent them an email. I am also so GRATEFUL for everyone who has tuned in to listen to my podcast. To have just 1 person listen, means the world. I am always worried when I release a new episode until the first person listens then my nerves ease up and I move on to working on the next episode. 

Unintentionally for episode 30 there are two parts. 

The first part is hearing Kumbi's journey where she touches on her early years of moving away from her home country to come to Australia to study. She's always prided strived for academic excellence and thought that if she excels and lands a job where she walks around with a briefcase then she would be happy. Here's a prime example of Martin's If/then mentality. If I get this, then I'll be happy. Always chasing external things to make you happy, But Kumbi noticed there was something missing on the inside of her. That's when she came across Mindfulness Mediation. 

Part 2 Kumbi and I talk about some practical take away tips and advice that we can all apply straight away to lower our stress and anxiety and be the best version of ourselves. 

I feel extremely honoured to have the opportunity to sit down with Paul Roos, former AFL footballer for Footscray and Sydney who later took over the coaching position at Sydney and lead them out of their 72-year premiership drought.  People like Roosy and our parents have a very interesting contrast between what life was like pre-technology and what life is like now with technology. Roosy and I have a chat about some of these comparisons and the effects that technology is having on our mental health. We dive into all things leadership and what makes a good leader which is actually a theme I talk a lot about on this podcast and what a lot of men find hard to do. When then shift into talking around the men's space and Roosy finishes up giving his advice to young leaders out there. Remember we are all leaders in all area's of our lives, a leader isn't someone with a title often the greatest leader is one who has no title. 

Follow Roosy on Instagram @paulroos1 and check out one his websites/companies Nurture 360 @ https://nurture360.com.au/team-members/paul-roos

I was so blessed to be able to sit down with Cass Dunn for an hour and have the opportunity to pick her brain on a range of topics. For those that don't know Cass is a Clinical Psychologist, mindfulness/meditation teacher, coach, author of 3 books and one of Australia's leading podcasters who has had the opportunity to speak with some inspiring people from all around the country and the world. 

Honestly, this podcast journey of mine continues to blow my mind. I can't even fathom how I have managed to speak with the guests I have spoken with. The one thing that I have learnt so far is that as Oprah Winfrey says "you get in life what you have the courage to ask for". You just never know what the answer is going to be until you ask and if you get a no then you haven't lost anything. 

This conversation could not come at a better time for us Victorians who are having to go back into stage 3 restrictions and experiencing stage 4 restrictions. Personally, this week I've been feeling quite flat as my Uni semester was shaping up to be an epic one full of practical trips to amazing outdoor environments with good company. But that's all been put on hold at the moment. 

This week I've sat with those uncomfortable feelings, I've allowed my body to rest more than I usually do and I know that these uneasy emotions will pass. Alongside that, I have made sure that I tick off my non-negotiable everyday habits which fill up my cup. 

So take some time out for you and be easy on yourself during this section season in our lives. 

Please give Cass Dunn a follow on Instagram @cassdunn_xo and listen to her podcast called 'Crappy to Happy'. You can find out more about Cass and the amazing work she does on her website https://cassdunn.com/

Two things have become very clear to me since speaking with Andy; the first being that you cannot judge a book by its cover at all and the second being that I have some inbuilt implicit biases. 

What do I mean by the first statement "you cannot judge a book by its cover", we've all heard this term being thrown around before. In this scenario, I had just met Andy at a Men's Virtual Lock in night, hosted by tomorrow man and Andy was the facilitator.  I then arrange to chat over the phone with Andy as I wanted to record a conversation with him around growing up in the country, travelling the world and masculinity. It was midway through our chat that he informed me that he was gay. This is where the second statement comes in. Hearing that, I was a little shocked as I had just experienced him deliver a virtual workshop where 40 males from all over Australia and the world came together and showed some real and raw emotion. I have friends who are gay and I am fully supportive of them and stand by them because they are my mates. I've often had conversations with them around their sexuality and so I'm comfortable with hearing this kind of language. However, this slight shock that I experienced made it clear to me that I still have an implicit bias around homosexuals which seeps into my life even though it is contradicting my beliefs. We all have them and they embed themselves into our subconscious through the social norms of society. 

In this conversation, Andy and I talk about what it was like for him growing up as a gay male and the story behind how he became comfortable enough to take off the "straight jacket" and we explore his take on masculinity.

Keep an eye on Tomorrowman or Tomorrowwomen for upcoming virtual workshops. They are well worth it. You can visit their website here: https://www.tomorrowman.com.au/  https://www.tomorrowwoman.com.au/ or follow them on socials @tomorrowman_au @tomorrowwomen_au