Elaina

Red lipstick is the confidence of sharing the truth of what actually happened. I don’t care if it makes you uncomfortable, you didn’t care when it destroyed me. Time is irrelevant when everything was always about you and your needs. Don’t be going my social medias or going behind my back talking to my friends. Once one was foot was out the door, the other one would no longer would be invited in. It’s not my problem that your engagement didn’t work. Blocking me and ghosting me wasn’t enough, you had show back up six years later pretending like nothing ever happened. What more do I have to express to get you to understand to leave me the hell alone. I don’t care about your apology or excuse. It’s not problem that you’re not happy. That you are living with guilt. This is you problem, like I said before I don’t care how uncomfortable this makes you feel. You never gave a shit about how I felt. Showing up six years later only puts the salt in the wound.

Trying to destroy my engagement and wedding day, now you have no connection to me anymore. Throwing a tantrum without giving me the chance to explain why everything happened the way it did. You just chose to jump to conclusions instead. My only real peace was leaving you in my past. Our relationship was good until I was thirteen. That’s when everything change, that’s when you switched. A hole in my heart that will never be stitched up. The only peace was finding the one and the family who connected with my dad, his family and my three brothers. I would never mention you ever again or have anything to do with you. Don’t ever ask my brothers what I am doing or up too, you chose to leave. The happiest day turned into the saddest day of my life, but at least everyone else had common sense. You did give me the tools to survive and we did have good moments plus memories, I won’t deny that, but this is too far. The white dress that was stained when my heart shattered from that particular day, was healed by the ones who understood what was going on.

The bravest soldier is the one who has no one to go to. High heels is the courage to walk alone. No matter how painful it was, there was no choice but to only walk alone. I would rather figure it out on my own, than to ask for help. Anytime I would ask for help it would either be I had to do something in return or there was a motive behind it. High heels isn’t just a symbol of courage, it’s symbol of being brave. Walking through the fire with no regrets or doubts left to give. The reality of home is place where you can no longer return to. You never ran in a pack, you weren’t meant to walk alone. No wonder why no one understands why you are quiet and don’t put up with anyone’s shit. You are strong, given the toughest of battles and still somehow you survived.