Elaina

When someone is envious they can no longer hide it. I can't relate to desperation. A kid who never grew up, a grown adult who acts like a kid. An adult who throws tantrums when they don't get their way. Blaming others for your problems, saying you're not about drama, but your DNA was built on drama. A grown adult twice my age can't even keep their anger in or act like an adult. Can't even handle the stress and make the environment miserable to work in. You are only dragging yourself down and burning every bridge. Having the mindset that you are above the law or no one can go after you. You were wrong, your narcissism and ego will catch up to you. Once you lose your job, it's not on me. Of course, you will blame one because it's easier than to admit your mistakes. How well is that working out for you?

When a liar says they are going to change, but they don't. They only say these things to make you think they will change, but they turn around and hurt you again. With no care in the world, everything is about them. Nothing was ever fair to them. They would rather hurt everyone in their sight, instead of apologize. They would rather spread lies, and make whole speeches of how they weren't loved and that they got nothing at all. When they got everything in the world. You can't understand why some people live this way, but you realize they made their bed and they will have to sleep in it.

I never like the number 13th because it brought back memories I wish to forget. These memories caused nightmares to the point I couldn't sleep at night. I would wake up from shaking or screaming in my sleep. That's how bad these nightmares were, even though I escaped the darkness and the dark moments in my life. I couldn't turn my brain off from the horrible things I went through. Using my voice, writing out these podcasts, and speaking to a therapist help me through these tough times.

When you are tired of fighting. When you don’t trust no one anymore because your trust gets broken. The darker the storm the more the enemy will attack. He is attacking you because you are a threat. You keep walking with God, even when you get lost. You still run back to God. You don’t tell no one you are a Christian, You show it through your actions. You will make mistakes and have to forgive the ones you hurt as well. I’m ready for combat and am ready for each battle God has us walk through. You will have your moments in private but in public no one will know the battle you are going through. You chose to remain strong and firm because you know God has all of this under control. We just have to learn how to put all of our worries in his hands and to trust him.

I always loved the ocean. The Keys, Miami, Caribbean, Bahamas, Jupiter, Coco Key, Orlando, Clearwater, Port St. Lucie, Destin, Tallahassee, Tampa, Daytona, Palm Beach, Cape Coral, Naples, Sarasota, Pensacola, Fort Lauderdale, St. Augustine, Hilton Head Beach and so many memories. The sailboat going out to sea, with Jimmy Buffett on. There are many adventures to come. Like meeting Patrick Dempsey at the Daytona International Speedway during the 24-Rolex race. Not knowing later he was from Maine and on Grey’s Anatomy. So many memories that are stored to look back on, every summer you will find me going out to sea. I miss having sea legs. Going on the Royal Caribbean or Carnival cruise ship, standing at the front of the ship with everyone waving good bye to you while the ship is heading out to sea. Then seeing the Miami Lights on the horizon, coming back in for the next trip. It’s like waiting for the next adventure to begin.