Marriage just ain’t what it used to be. It’s evolved from a utilitarian arrangement ensuring survival and inheritance rights, to a gendered division between home and work, to a more modern agreement where people try, at least in theory, to help each other become their best selves. And for renowned marriage researcher, Eli Finkel, the idea of a best self and its place in marriage posed a bit of a conundrum.

Finkel picked up Sarah Bakewell’s book, At The Existentialist Café, because, after all, who better to help you understand the nature of selfhood than the existentialists? What he discovered completely changed his view of what it takes to be a person, how we decide who we are, and what that means for the institution of marriage as a whole.

Bestselling author of "The All or Nothing Marriage," Eli Finkel talks to Terence about how existentialism not only cured his writer's block but also transformed dread into joy.

You can find links to show notes and transcripts of this episode at [https://www.blinkist.com/selfhelp]

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