Embracing Intensity

I wasn't sure what to talk about for today's podcast when I happened upon Paula Prober's newest blog post, Can Gifted Kids Become Ungifted Adults? Hint: No but, read the full post for her take.

This got me thinking how I've observed as I've followed more neurodiverse folks on social media that people will often refer to their own giftedness in past tense and in quotes like "I was a 'gifted' kid," as if giftedness was not something that still affected them now as an adult. I got to speak with Nadja Cereghetti, host of a new podcast for gifted adults called Unleash Monday, and we talked a lot about how a lot of gifted adults either don't know they are gifted or no longer think they are.

In this episode:

• We often confuse giftedness with achievement, or executive functioning skills.

• Highly gifted folks don't always fit the standard achievement picture because their thinking is outside the typical box.

• Acknowledging our giftedness allows us to connect with our strengths and values to figure out what achievement really looks like for us.

• Finding ways to support us in our executive functioning and self regulation skills can help us harness our energy in a positive direction.

Links:

Your Rainforest Mind Blog

Unleash Monday Podcast

Embracing Intensity Community

Free Harnessing the Power of Your Intensity Workbook

In today's show, I introduce you to a good friend who has been an anchor for me in creating a community over the last ten years, both in-person and online. Join us!

Lana Quackenbush has been part of my Ignite Your Power program for several years, and she frequently joined the monthly Embracing Intensity guest calls last year. I've seen from the beginning of our relationship what an amazing person she is and how she's learning to own the uniqueness of who she is. Lana and I both love helping people find connections in the common experiences of intensity, giftedness, twice-exceptionality, and creativity.

Show Highlights:

• Why Lana identifies as a mixed-race, newlywed, preschool teacher who loves peacemaking and doing the right thing
• How Lana's personal brand of intensity revolves around her qualities of being intensely intellectual, perfectionistic, and judgmental
• Why as a Virgo, Lana has to work on finding balance in many ways
• Growing up, Lana's mom told her she was "exhausting," and she had a hard time sleeping as a sickly child who learned to tune out her body's signals
• The cultural factors that added to the "tornado of chaos" in Lana's biracial, highly social family; it was always stressed to her the importance of "presenting" herself well
• How Lana learned to tune herself out or tone herself down in light of her mother's postpartum depression and the realization that her needs weren't always going to be met
• How Lana's intensity gets out of control at times when she is wronged, and her self-righteous indignation kicks in
• The shift for Lana in finding a relationship that uplifts her intensity in a positive way
• How Lana uses her fire for good as she spends her days teaching two-year-olds and shows interest in families, children, and their parents
• Why Lana loves to see the emotional model of raising children reign over the intellectual model
• How Lana harnesses the power of her intensity by doing yoga and studying Buddhism
• How Lana follows her varied interests in phases, organizes spaces in her home to meet her needs, and imposes rules for herself about cleaning up one area before moving on
• Lana's inspirational to-do list hack: she writes her list on business cards so the list is manageable, and she can feel the satisfaction of checking off each item
• Why Lana is ever-so-grateful that she followed the best advice she ever received: "Don't make any permanent life choices before age 25."
• Books that Lana recommends: Ishmael by Daniel Quinn and The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield
• How Lana helps others use their fire by kid-wrangling, making spaces for them, and meeting their needs
• Why Lana is learning to identify proudly as a person of color

Resources:

Ishmael by Daniel Quinn

The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield

Find Lana on Instagram: ThatLanaLady

We are celebrating our 4th anniversary, 101K downloads! At this rate, I’ll make 200K in ½ the time! Keep sharing and listening so the message of Embracing Intensity can spread to those who need it! 

For this week’s special episode, I asked audience and community members to share “What does Embracing Intensity mean to me?” I left it deliberately open ended, and got a wonderful variety of answers ranging from the meaning of the phrase, to the importance of the community.

In this episode:

• Celebrating intensity, and harnessing its power.
• Tuning in to the messages of our intense feelings. 
• Finding community that not only accepts, but appreciates your differences. 

Links:

Embracing Intensity Community

Leah K Walsh Coaching

Jeff's Peer Support Page

Tiffany's Lucy in the Sky: Therapy with a Pen

Mezclados Studio

Get your free Harnessing the Power of Your Intensity Workbook!

As this show airs, we’re reaching two important milestones. We hit the 100K downloads mark, which is thrilling in itself. We also are approaching the fourth anniversary of the Embracing Intensity podcast, which means we’ve been at this for quite a while now! Reach out to me at Aurora Remember and let me know what “embracing intensity” means to you. We will feature these in our upcoming anniversary show next week! For now, enjoy another informative show with my inspiring guest who I've been a fan of for quite some time.

Seth Perler’s life’s work has been dedicated to helping kids overcome executive functioning challenges so they can have great futures despite our outdated educational systems. Seth’s mission is to help compassionate and proactive parents, educators, and others who care about kids. He wants to give honest, practical, and unconventional approaches to helping complicated, struggling students without BS or misinformation. He wants to teach the world about executive function, which is at the root of student struggles. Seth’s vision is a day when we don’t need executive functioning coaches because education is wildly successful at empowering all students with everything they need to have happy, healthy, and successful lives.

Show Highlights:

• Why Seth is intensely passionate about helping struggling students and changing educators to understand these kids better

• How Seth grew up as a curious, free-spirited kid who loved animals and nature but never fit into “the box” in school

• How Seth was labeled as a lazy, irresponsible failure--and his “fire was squelched”

• How Seth became a teacher of gifted kids but soon became frustrated with the system

• How Seth’s personal brand of intensity loves nature and the environment and feels the suffering of other people, animals, and plants

• Why Seth hates to see kids struggle to be understood

• How Seth is intense with his sensory experiences and emotions

• How kids’ feelings are invalidated by cultural factors that teach them that acknowledging their feelings is not OK

• Why Seth had a hopeless and cynical attitude as a kid, knowing he was “not like the other kids”

• How Seth learned to escape by going into social settings to avoid being alone

• Why Seth felt trapped by his “darkness”

• How Seth lived in his problem until he found the tools to step into the solution

• How Seth uses his fire for good by teaching what he most needs to learn and using what he has struggled with to help others

• How Seth harnesses the power of his intensity through meditation, the #1 way he understands himself

• Seth’s advice to those who don’t think they can meditate

• How Seth helps kids learn to shine through new mindsets, systems, and routines

• Seth’s advice:

  • Focus on helping others with a heart and spirit of service

  • Meditate and have times of stillness

  • Learn to journal

  • Get in touch with your story to know what is BS and what is truth

Resources:

Connect with Seth:   Seth Perler  and Executive Function Summit  

Find Seth on YouTube and his podcast, Learn Smarter.

As I approach the 4th anniversary of the Embracing Intensity Podcast, I find myself and the podcast approaching a bunch of milestones in a short time! The biggest one being that I'm rapidly approaching the 100K download mark! 

In this episode:

• Help us reach 100K and enter to win an Embracing Intensity T-shirt!
• Exciting milestones for the podcast. 
• Updates on the Embracing Intensity Community for this year and next!
• Overview of my coaching and assessment process. 
• Other creative projects.
• Stay tuned next week for a great interview!

Links: 

Contact me to send a recording for our anniversary episode by answering "What does Embracing Intensity mean to me?" 

Embracing Intensity Community

Harnessing the Power of Your Intensity Workbook

For many people, discovering their giftedness can open many doors, but when it becomes the center of our identity it can close many as well. In this episode, I share my observations over the years in gifted communities on the journey to self-understanding.

In this episode:

• Stories of gifted discovery.
• Types of gifted communities I've observed.
• Times when focusing on gifted identity can be helpful, and when it can get in the way. 
• My assessment philosophy.
• Knowing the limitations of our assessment tools.
• Upcoming book announcement!

Links:

Free Harness the Power of Your Intensity Workbook

Embracing Intensity Community

My Year in Mensa Podcast

It’s always great to have a good friend visit with me on the show. Join me as I introduce you to my friend, Erika. She’s a ball of energy who focuses on positivity, generosity, and finding workable solutions to everyday problems. Join us!

Erika Laws is a recovering networker, positive thinker, and sales enthusiast. She loves people, self-development, and manifesting. Her goal is to be happy no matter what the circumstances and to put her own “oxygen mask” on before helping others. She has lots of life lived and lessons learned.

Show Highlights:

• Why Erika is intensely passionate about helping people, sales, and her unique form of “matchmaking”
• Why Erika is not too concerned about being diplomatic anymore, asking the tough questions, and being a “say it how I feel it” person
• Why Erika is a positive manipulator to help people to become better
• How Erika’s intensity kicked in when she became a single mom and had to channel her intensity toward getting things done and leading confidently
• How cultural factors influenced Erika growing up because she lived in a world without much diversity but found herself drawn to African-American friends, which isolated her from others
• How Erika’s acceptance of everyone helped her later in her sales career
• How Erika had to suppress her gender and act “more male” by holding back her emotion to succeed in her career
• How Erika’s intensity gets out of control often as she tries to underpromise and overdeliver to customers, which comes across as aggressive and hostile at times
• How Erika will go above and beyond to make sure people are taken care of; she’s an observant, forward-thinking, and solutions-based listener
• How emotional awareness helps Erika harness the power of her intensity
• How Erika follows a process using the acronym SELL in every interaction: show up, engage, listen, and lead
• The best advice Erika ever received came from Jack Canfield: “There are only two things you can change about a situation. Change how you feel about it or change the situation.”
• How Erika helps others see that they are valued, leads by example, and loves connecting people as a matchmaker to help them
• How Erika is committed to holding the line with her boundaries and how she expects to be treated
• Parting words from Erika: “Intensity can be good, but your greatest strength can be your biggest weakness. You have to channel that intensity for good and know when to dial it back. Choose wisely about who you surround yourself with, and choose those who appreciate and don’t just tolerate.”

Resources:

Find Erika on Facebook: Erika Laws or Impactful Sales Solutions

If you’re in the Vancouver, WA, area, go see Erika at Mattress Firm on Mill Plain Boulevard!

For many years I thought I needed more self control to help develop health habits that would help my chronic pain and fatigue, but I eventually came to realize that I was focusing on the wrong thing. Instead of self control, I needed to focus on self-regulation. Self control is about forcing yourself, while self-regulation is about helping yourself. 

In this episode:

• The difference between self control and self-regulation.
• With self control, the focus is often on deprivation and forcing yourself to do something.
• Willpower is a limited resource. 
• With self-regulation, the focus is on setting up tools, environment etc. to help facilitate behaviors you want to change.

Links:

Embracing Intensity Community

Upcoming Group Calls

Embracing Intensity Store

Free Workbook on Harnessing the Power of Your Intensity

Today’s show is about swimming against the current and going against the flow. Listen to learn more about focusing on what feels good at the gut level. 

Matt Zinman is a personal success trainer whose varied experiences as an entrepreneur, athlete, single parent, caretaker, consultant, and nonprofit founder drive him to be a difference-maker. His insights about self-discovery, relationships, mindfulness, and life enrichment led him to write Z-Isms: Insights to Live By and fulfill his goal to positively impact as many people as possible. In addition, Matt is CEO of The Internship Institute, which he established in 2007 to bridge the gap between education, active duty, and employment.

Show Highlights:

• As a Philly area native, Matt is passionate about ice hockey, entrepreneurship, internships, his nonprofit, and his book
• Matt’s inspiration for writing Z-Isms, which contains pearls of wisdom, wit, and insights
• Matt’s personal brand of intensity is channeled through ice hockey and his “relentlessly positive optimism”
• The relevance of earned confidence from what you’ve endured
• Since Matt contended with depression since his early teens, he had to learn how to take care of himself and notice his “mood scale”
• How he became the caretaker for his mom, who contracted HIV through a tainted blood transfusion, and he learned to convert intensity into gratitude
• The cultural factors that affected Matt, who was a Jewish kid in a Catholic high school
• How Matt learned to be an even-keeled person through years of staying in control
• How Matt felt his intensity get out of control as he lost his mom over time to HIV and dementia
• How Matt used his fire for good by pushing through in his career and swimming against the current
• How Matt harnessed the power of his intensity by paying attention to his anchors, like ice hockey, spontaneous connection to others, and positivity
• How Matt created rituals around mindfulness and gratitude
• The best advice Matt ever received was to trust himself and not overthink everything
• A book that helped Matt was Blink by Malcolm Gladwell
• How Matt helps others trust themselves and earn confidence, teaching them to take pride in yielding vs. always trying to win the fight
• Final words from Matt: “Have a positive impact on as many people as possible. Be proactive. Stay upbeat, and take care of yourself.”

Resources:

Find Matt and his tools and resources: www.z-isms.com  

Find Z-Isms on www.amazon.com.

Blink by Malcolm Gladwell  

We suffer not from lack, but from paralyzing abundance. Our vast array of interests make it difficult to choose just one thing and give it the attention to detail our idealistic standards feel it deserves. But Kazimierz Dabrowski says that dissatisfaction with oneself is actually a crucial step toward positive personality development. It is only useful though if it can be directed toward achieving your personal ideal through conscious action.

In this episode of Embracing Intensity, we’ll explore ways simplify your life so you have time to channel your energy in a positive direction.

In this episode:

• 4 ways to simplify your life. 
• Putting systems in place to make your life easier. 
• Focusing your energy on your own "zone of genius"

Links:

Embracing Intensity Community

Embracing Intensity Store