Embracing Intensity

"Disruption in your life is an opportunity to play and it's helping you disrupt yourself on purpose as a way to bring out that curiosity and wonder when you're in a rut."

We wrapped up our Summer Camp Scavenger Hunt in the Embracing Intensity Community with a talk from Gary Ware on Finding Your Way Back to the Playground. 

In this episode:

• The importance of play.
• 7 paths to bring more play into your life. 
• The difference between childlike and childish.
• Facing your gremlins that tell you you can't do things. 
• Living life with childlike wonder, curiosity and enthusiasm.

Resources:

Executive Functioning Summit - Affiliate Link

Gwen Gordon Plays

Dr. Stuart Brown - Playcore

Jane McGonigal

The Nerdist Way

Harnessing the Power of Your Intensity Workbook

Embracing Intensity Community

Today’s show features a guest who approaches every day with creativity and humor. She’s a financial expert who embraces her intensity and has the answer to your money questions.

Lisa Brumm and I met a few years ago when she spoke at an event. She is an active member of my online community, so we regularly connect and meet at local networking events around the Portland area. Lisa’s company, My Financial Girlfriend, has offices in Portland and Los Angeles. Lisa offers a shame-free zone to help women with all areas of their finances and leave them with a newfound sense of hope and relief about money and life.

Show Highlights:

• Lisa’s intense passion around travel, the Pacific Northwest, family, and her business that educates and empowers women with financial literacy
• How Lisa’s personal brand of intensity stems from a bent toward humor and a voice that doesn’t hold back; her inner drive to make things better leads her to ask questions to bring perspective to a male-dominated profession
• How Lisa learned as a kid to use humor to deflect bullying
• Culturally, Lisa as a kid was “a rare bird,” a girl who loved math and science
• How Lisa’s parents encouraged her to use unique personal expression, but she learned to tone down her opinions and control her emotions to preserve friendships
• How Lisa uses her fire to lobby for consensus
• How parenting challenges with her two kids sometimes prompted her intensity to get out of control
• How Lisa dealt with the learning diversity in her family with creativity and acceptance
• How Lisa harnesses the power of her intensity by being persistent and tenacious and taking things at face value
• Why the division of work in Lisa’s household is a little unconventional
• The best advice Lisa ever received relates to raising kids; she learned to “Let them be” as far as exploring and figuring out the world
• A book to recommend: Small Great Things by Jodi Picoult
• How Lisa helps others by giving people a safe, non-judgmental space to see what they haven’t seen before, especially as it relates to financial literacy
• Final words from Lisa: “Own your intensity, whatever it might be. There is room for everyone in this world.”

Resources:

My Financial Girlfriend

Find My Financial Girlfriend on Facebook and LinkedIn

Email: [email protected] 

I've been thinking a lot about play lately, but also feeling bad talking about play when there's so much going on in the world right now. In my interview last week with Jeff Harry, he reminded us that "there's nothing wrong with having multiple emotions at the same time," and that play can be used to help deal with challenging things and conversations. 

In this episode:

• The difference between play and toxic positivity.
• Play as a form of self-care.
• Why play isn't just something for kids.

Links:

Summer Camp Scavenger Hunt

Embracing Intensity Community

Harnessing the Power of Your Intensity Workbook

In the global pandemic, and everything else going on in the world today, there is every reason to be unhappy. Who decided that we grownups have to act our age and put playtime behind us? There are many benefits of playing like a kid, even through hard times--maybe especially in difficult times. So, when is the last time you played like a kid?

Jeff Harry shows individuals and companies how to tap into their true selves to feel their happiest and most fulfilled--all by playing. Jeff has worked with Google, Microsoft, Southwest Airlines, Adobe, the NFL, Amazon, and Facebook, helping their staff infuse more play into the day-to-day.

Show Highlights:

• How Jeff is intensely passionate about utilizing play to help people figure out who they are and how happy and joyful they were as kids
• How Jeff brings his passion to everything he does and loves to “nerd out” about any topic--along with his “fancy” bowtie that says he’s just there to have fun
• How Jeff didn’t always fit into his father’s box of “a time and a place for everything”
• Cultural factors that affected Jeff growing up as the child of first-generation immigrants include how he had to learn not to take things seriously and make play his armor
• How adults try to follow the correct way of living that ends up not being correct for them
• Why Jeff never felt like being “more” was a bad thing, and he actually regrets not being enough of himself because of fear and playing it safe
• How we allow our inner critic to control us and why we need to address it head-on
• How the flaws in our educational system tamp down and destroy genius in the classroom
• How Jeff uses play as a superpower to attack evil, disconnection, and shame
• How Jeff had to go through his own bullshit and identify his limiting beliefs
• Why Jeff doesn’t take things too seriously, practices being present in the moment, and uses his “play” lens to figure things out
• How Jeff helps others “come alive” and take a leap of faith and curiosity to reconnect with their “kidself”
• Final words from Jeff: “You’re alive for a reason. You have a variety of superpowers, and when you liberate yourself, you help others liberate themselves.”

Resources:

Rediscover Your Play

Find JeffHarryPlays on Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter

The Power Manual by Cyndi Suarez

This week I had planned to talk about gifted kid burnout and how many of them may actually be twice-exceptional, but it was hot today and my brain was kind of mush so I decided to share part of my lesson on positive coping skills instead!

In this episode:

• Types of unproductive skills. 
• Having empathy for our coping skills, and understanding what needs they are trying to meet.
• Common elements in productive coping skills. 

Links:

Summer Camp Scavenger Hunt

Embracing Intensity Community

Embracing Intensity Store

Cosette “CoCo” Leary loves to live out loud. She’s a jubilant speaker, professional coach, author, and educator. CoCo has overcome a childhood of poverty and abuse, raised four children through hard work and painful decisions, and has gone from surviving on welfare benefits to earning her university degree in Public Administration, graduating with highest honors and serving as a staff member in both a senatorial and congressional office. Ms. Leary pulled herself out of poverty to show others how to do the same. She exists to breathe life back into improving communities, rekindling relationships across economic class lines, and empowering women.

Show Highlights:

• Why CoCo is intensely passionate about not accepting society’s rules for her and being empowered to challenge the status quo; her passion comes from growing up as a foster child who was pregnant with her first child at age 14, and had to go against the court system to keep her child and not be forced to terminate
• How CoCo determined to have a life worth living for her and her baby
• CoCo’s personal brand of intensity is absolute determination and a never-give-up attitude in going up against economic class systems
• Why CoCo knew she had to start with education to advance herself to help others
• How CoCo’s children watched her at work to better herself despite living in Section 8 housing and shopping at Goodwill
• How CoCo’s intensity was affected as she grew up by her loving father who gave her the gift of imagination but died when she was 12; a few years before his death, her parents divorced, and her mom remarried an abusive man
• How CoCo was beaten regularly and repeatedly ran away from home but was carried through those hard times by the self-love instilled into her by her father
• Why CoCo had difficulty expressing herself with language other than that of the “hood” where she grew up--until she found the local library
• How I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou changed CoCo’s life at age 12 when she lived in an orphanage
• After working in DC and then returning to Washington state, CoCo went through two years of homelessness even though she had a degree in Public Administration; no one would hire her
• How she started building her brand even while homeless and working as a CNA, living in a motel for several months
• Now, CoCo helps other low-income women build their brand and helps women entrepreneurs fall in love with themselves
• Why CoCo’s intensity never got out of control because her drive was mandatory for survival
• How her health suffered from diabetes, high blood pressure, and a stroke in 2018
• How CoCo uses her fire for good by encouraging others to use their fire and giving others permission to really see who they are
• Habits that helped CoCo harness the power of her intensity: “Being honest with myself, telling myself the truth, and realizing I need a good support system, and I need to be a support system for others.”
• Last words from CoCo: “Love yourself. Tell yourself, YES. Whatever you want to do for you, find a way to do it.”

Resources:

From Welfare to The White House

Find CoCo on Instagram: @welfare2whitehouse

From Welfare to the White House by Cosette Leary

I've seen some conversations recently about how being a Highly Sensitive Person can overlap with characteristics of specific disabilities & neurodiversities such as ADHD or Autism. There was some discussion of whether identifying as HSP might prevent or delay seeking a deeper underlying diagnosis and it got me thinking about how other traits such as multi potentiality and giftedness might also interfere with getting diagnosis and treatment.

In this episode:

• How in our attempt to avoid labels or pathologizing we might miss important treatment and supports.
• The impact of late or no diagnosis on self esteem. 
• Why we should look deeper if we feel a trait is having a negative impact on our lives. 

Links:

Embracing Intensity Community

Free Harnessing the Power of Your Intensity Workbook

Are you living the life you love? For most of us, that’s a complicated question that demands an even more complicated answer. To live our best lives, we have to accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative---but that’s easier said than done. Join us as we discuss it all with today’s guest.

Dr. Raquel Muller is a psychologist, mom empowerment coach, and speaker. She is the founder of Joyful Imperfection Counseling, LLC, and the creator of The Woman System. Dr. Raquel harnesses the power of cognitive, behavioral, and mindfulness strategies to empower women to transform negative self-talk, let go of self-doubt and guilt, banish burnout and overwhelm, cultivate a greater self-love, and reconnect with their own greatness so they can create lives that they love while making a positive impact in their families and the world.

Show Highlights:

• Why Raquel is intensely passionate about supporting working moms in creating lives they love and letting go of the old notion of what a “good mom” should be
• Why having hopes, dreams, and human needs---and honoring those does not make a bad mom
• Raquel’s personal brand of intensity involves her radiant smile, boundless energy, and much passion
• How Raquel grew up in Panama as a “good daughter and student” who enjoyed the spotlight, having a mic, and sharing a message
• The cultural factors that affected Raquel as the oldest in her family who had many behavioral rules to follow
• How Raquel knew she was expected to be an example for her younger siblings and a proper example for others who saw her in public
• How her intensity got out of control during college when she lived away from home for the first time in a new culture that gave her more freedom
• How she started her business and was forced to learn new skills, grow, and get in touch with her dreams
• How she harnessed the power of her intensity by working with a coach and mentor around spiritual awareness, learning how to frame her fire and power to be more
• The personal habits that have helped Raquel are gratitude practice, meditation, listing daily wins, and having a vision for her life
• Good advice Raquel received was to listen to and honor her desires
• Books that Raquel recommends: The Science of Getting Rich by W. D. Wattles and The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks
• The empowerment that comes from investing in your growth
• How Raquel helps mompreneurs with big dreams by teaching them to listen to their desires, create a vision for their lives, and be great role models for their children
• Raquel’s favorite quote by Howard Thurman: “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
• Parting advice from Raquel: “Create your vision and go for your dreams. Find the thing that brings you alive, and go do it.”

Resources:

Find Raquel’s website:  Joyful Imperfection Counseling

Email Raquel:  [email protected] 

Find Raquel’s Facebook group: Redefining Supermom

The Science of Getting Rich by W. D. Wattles and

The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks

I've been behind on my workbooks and lessons as I wrapped up my school year, and now I'm catching up! This month's theme is on Creatively Meeting Your Own Needs and in this episode I'd like to talk a little about the concept of Emotional Liberation as described through Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication. 

In this episode:

• Why NVC can be a useful tool for self-exploration. 
• When NVC is not always applicable. 
• 4 Responses to negative or uncomfortable feedback or experiences.
• Taking ownership of our feelings to meet our own needs and the needs of others. 

Links:

Embracing Intensity Community

RSVP for our next group call!

Free Harnessing the Power of Your Intensity Workbook

Decolonizing Nonviolent Communication Book

I’m glad I’ve gotten to know today’s guest on the show. We’ve been following each other on Instagram, and I recently discovered that we’re in the same Facebook group. We’ve bonded over our work and service with twice-exceptional individuals, and we have much more in common, too. I’m excited to introduce you to her!

Boontarika Sripom is a therapy-influenced life coach for gifted and creative people. Her background includes school counseling, working in special education, and community mental health. As a life coach and sensitive person, she uses psychology and typology systems like Myers Briggs and enneagrams to help people empower themselves and reach their potential. Her favorite clients are creatives, gamers, and sensitive people who feel misunderstood. Boonie makes online content on Quora and YouTube. On Mixer, she streams video gaming while chatting with fellow gamers.

Show Highlights:

• How Boonie is intensely passionate about championing causes like world hunger, her connection to nature, art, kids with special needs, and video game culture
• Boonie’s connection to mental health advocacy and how she connects gamers and the geek community to therapists through the non-profit, Anxiety Gaming
• Boonie’s personal brand of intensity is to challenge “normal” and to pair with a greater cause
• Why Boonie believes that “injustice for one is injustice for all”
• How Boonie is messy and scattered at home but portrays a different picture in public
• How Boonie has an insatiable need to learn
• Growing up, Boonie misunderstood social cues, didn’t have many friends, and was naive and trusted people too much
• Why Boonie’s collectivist upbringing taught her that showing emotional pain is sign of weakness; she learned to be strong and push through any pain
• In Boonie’s first year of college, Boonie’s friend committed suicide, leaving her with PTSD; this experience intensified her mistrust that anyone could help her
• How she sought connection in emotionally-abusive relationships and kept losing herself and staying silent
• How Boonie’s intensity got out of control with her insatiable need to learn, and her compulsion to buy books and hoard them
• Why she had to honor her childhood playfulness and the needs that weren’t met
• How Boonie uses her fire for good in speaking, questioning things, uplifting others, and constructing spaces for connection
• A habit that helps Boonie harness the power of her intensity is to know the right people who accept and embrace her
• How she helps others with their archetypes and how they seek and process information
• Final words of advice from Boonie: “Everything you need is already there. Reclaim your voice and your identity.”

Resources:

Boonie’s website:  Organized Messes

Find Boontarika Sripom on YouTube, Instagram, and Quora