Embracing Intensity

Last year at a regional SENG (Supporting the Emotional Needs of the Gifted) conference, I had lunch with someone who followed my podcast and online community. She asked me, "what exactly do you do?" Today I'm sharing more clarity what I do with educational assessment and consultation, and my shift towards doing more group facilitation. 

In this episode:

• What psycho-educational assessment is all about.
• How educational consultation can help understand existing testing.
• Moving towards more interactive facilitation in group calls and courses. 

Links:

Embracing Intensity Community

Contact Me

Every so often, you meet someone who has had to fight for where they are in life. It’s usually the people who have faced the greatest difficulty who learn to be the most resilient and truly have a heart of gratitude for what they have in life. Such is the story of today’s guest. Join me to learn more.

Zaakirah Muhammad Demba is someone I met through a podcasting group on Facebook called She Podcasts. Once I got to know her, I realized she would be a great guest on the show--and here she is! Zaakirah is a brand-cultivating strategist, professional photographer, and digital marketer. She helps small businesses make their social media pages look good, and she advises the best social media tactics for growing and being consistent with their brand. At 6 months of age, a camera saved her life, and at 9 months old, she was taken into surgery to have her right eye removed due to a rare cancerous tumor that was detected by a camera in a photo taken by her mom. Her hearing slowly began to decline as she grew older, but her other 3 senses kicked in and are doing well. At age 5, her mom gifted her with her first camera, and she received her first digital camera in middle school. She attended technical high school and went on to study commercial photography and never strayed far from her purpose in life. She moved to Washington, DC, to expand her education and work in professional photography and videography. She currently resides in Nashville but has traveled to 10 countries with her camera, most recently to South Africa. As a people-person and an empath, Zaakirah wants her legacy to be the fact that she was able to see the good in people, help them live their best life, and step outside their comfort zone.

Show Highlights:

• Zaakirah’s intense passion for photography as a way to share her mind and her voice
• Her podcast, Living Legacy, is a way to get her story out
• How her mom taught her to fight for herself and her health
• How she’s faced cancer, eye removal, hearing loss, PCOS, and infertility
• Why she chooses to live a holistic life to be more in tune with herself
• Growing up as an intense person who was labeled GAP--Genius African Princess--by her mom
• The difficulties in school because of bullying
• The cultural factors Zaakirah has faced as a Muslim woman of African-American descent with a deaf-blind disability
• How yoga helps her quiet her mind
• Why 2019 is the year of “No More” for Zaakirah
• What she learned in test-taking about listening to her intuition
• A breakdown in high school due to anxiety, anger, and stress
• How Zaakirah uses her fire to help others grow their businesses, tap into their potential, and recognize their purpose
• How writing out her thoughts and feelings helps her tap into her creative juices
• Why she needs quiet time to recharge
• The best advice she received was not to allow negativity to overtake her
• Why Zaakirah focuses on forming good habits, like consistency, gratitude, using a vision board
• Some favorite books: Chicken Soup for the Soul series, The Diary of Anne Frank, and autobiographies
• How Zaakirah helps others through her coaching and her podcast

Resources:

Zaakirah Nayyar

Living Legacy podcast

These last few weeks of school my schedule has been thrown off whack, but as school approaches the end it opens up my schedule to do more great things with Embracing Intensity and more!

In this episode:

• What I've been focusing on this year.
• Where I'm headed into the new year.
• What I learned about myself on our last group call in terms of prioritizing my time. 

Links:

Embracing Intensity Community

XPress Your Power Store

Today you’ll meet someone who manifests his intensity through music and dance. In sharing his passion, he also stays connected to his Indian culture and brings it to people across the US as he celebrates all things FUN.

I first met Prashant Kakad in his role as a Bollywood DJ. I’ve loved attending his dance events because of the diverse variety of people and the open and free spirit of celebration. He is one of the best examples I know of psychomotor or physical excitability. As I’ve gotten to know Prashant better, I realized that he is gifted and intense in many different ways. From Orcas Island to the Florida Keys, this multifaceted Bollywood entertainer has spent the last 10 years traveling across the US sharing his passion for Indian music and culture. An Indian-born, first-generation immigrant, Prashant’s unique perspective as an Ivy League graduate and ex-Intel engineer-turned DJ transforming American nightlife has inspired many South Asians who seek to pursue a life beyond their tech job.

Show Highlights:

• How Prashant has always been intensely passionate about dancing, music, and creative expressions---not being an Intel engineer
• How he travels the US with dance parties in various cities, along with dance classes and workshops
• Prashant’s natural inclination toward intensity in his dancing and in his meditation practice
• How he has had to “find the middle” of both extremes of his intensity
• How he grew up with a very intense life in the city of Mumbai, which has over 19 million people
• How Prashant stays connected to his Indian culture and loves giving others a window into that world
• How he had to downplay his passion for music and dancing as he grew up, mainly because of his family’s disapproval
• How his intensity sometimes gets out of control
• How Prashant finds opportunities to self-reflect and course-correct
• How he helps by holding opportunities sacred in bringing his culture to people and helping them connect to it
• Harnessing the power of his intensity by being around people who resonate with him
• Prashant’s personal habits of jumping headfirst, thinking later, going with his instinct, and embracing the unknown
• The best advice Prashant has ever received: “Live and go, based on your personal experience, not on what someone else does or says.”
• Prashant’s favorite books to recommend: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho and Yoga Anatomy by Leslie Kaminoff and Amy Matthews
• How Prashant loves to help others in teaching dance because it’s both external AND internal

Resources:

Find Prashant on Instagram:  Instagram: Dream Prashant

Find Prashant on YouTube:  Dream Prashant

Find Prashant’s website:  Dreams Perfected

Consider supporting the podcast:  Embracing Intensity

From last week’s episode:  Side by Side: A Model of Healthy Relationships by Kate Arms

In May we are focusing on shifting perspective, and part of that is in shifting our perspective of intensity. For our Embracing Intensity group call, Kate Arms will be talking about Thriving with Intensity. This is the talk she did at the SENG 2018 conference.

Thriving with Intensity:

Dabrowski believed overexcitabilities enhance our capacity for self-actualization. How can we take advantage of this extra capacity? This presentation will focus on how adults can grow beyond coping with the challenges of being super sensitive and move toward greater fulfillment.

Once a few tools are identified for getting the most out of extraordinary sensitivity, the potential for self-awareness and life-changing transformations are profound. Using a coaching and leadership skills framework, Kate Arms will explore how to discover the gifts in individual overexcitabilities and how to use those gifts to create a greater sense of fulfillment in any moment.

Kate Arms is a personal and business coach at Signal Fire Coaching. She loves helping smart, sensitive, and creative people harness their many passions, skills, and sensitivities and use that energy to thrive. She is at her best with complex people facing complex problems. Particular passions are teaching emotional self-management to intense people, supporting parents of twice-exceptional kids, and teaching leadership, collaboration, and relationship skills to software developers. She is the parent of four gifted kids, three of whom are twice-exceptional and a different three of whom are triplets. Her current writing projects are focused on healthy interpersonal relationships at home and work and how to have effective high-stakes conversations.

Call recordings for the discussion and past calls can be found in the Embracing Intensity Community.

Links:

Embracing Intensity Community

Thrive with Intensity

Thrive with Intensity Facebook Group

Thriving with Complexity Webinar Series for Parents

I met today’s guest when she became an avid fan of the show, and we finally got to meet in person at the SENG conference in May. She’s a connector at heart, always being sensitive to notice who needs to know who and how to bring people together. I’m thrilled that she’s here to share her wonderful and inspiring story.

Tiffany Chhuom is the owner of EthTech, a healthcare consulting and training firm for the digital era. She also owns Lucy in the Sky Therapy, an online private practice for neurodiverse adults. With 18 years’ experience in healthcare, she holds four degrees in four disciplines from the University of Washington and has produced notable achievements in practice, policy, research, and administration across public health, social work, psychology, criminal justice, and child welfare sectors. Tiffany has led large projects across the country in behavioral and medical research, while also fine-tuning her craft as a trauma and addiction therapist. Special populations near and dear to her heart include veterans, injection drug users, people living with HIV, survivors of sexual violence, and gifted adults with co-occurring ADHD. Tiffany is a longtime mentor and applauded speaker, creating new opportunities to enhance course offerings and continuing education on telemental health ethics and digital marketing for providers and healthcare partners.

Show Highlights:

• Tiffany’s speaking topics from the SENG Conference
• Why she is passionate about dogs, trauma survivors, and “the odd intersection of things”
• How Tiffany cut ties with her parents to help form her own identity
• Why her personal brand of intensity includes “unapologetically being myself”/
• Different forms, aspects, and expressions of intensity
• How Tiffany’s intensity affected her as she grew up, including being accelerated in school when she wasn’t emotionally ready, doing cocaine with her mom at age 15, living a life with drugs and poverty, dropping out of high school, and achieving four college degrees
• Why Tiffany was addicted to achievement because she thought it measured her self-worth
• The intersection of the immune system, giftedness, and trauma
• Why Tiffany started a meditation practice to break her addiction
• How she became more comfortable with “not fitting in”
• How Tiffany has to tone herself down and tune herself out----every day
• Personal habits that have helped Tiffany the most: getting sufficient sleep, having time with her animals, and spending time outside
• How intensity factors into her marriage relationship
• How Tiffany uses her intensity to help others, especially in her work with all genders and her therapy with women
• How Tiffany helps people use anger as a healthy emotion
• Why Tiffany is not sure about what the future holds but knows it will be amazing!

Resources:

Lucy In The Sky Therapy

Ethtechusa

Email Tiffany: [email protected]   or  [email protected]

Find Tiffany on Facebook and LinkedIn

Find Lucy in the Sky Therapy on Facebook and Instagram

Call Tiffany: 360-972-3931

Dear Sugars podcast

Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs

Do you have a hard time explaining what goes on in your brain? After reading a post from Intergifted on High, Exceptional & Profound Giftedness, the concept of "Matrix Thinking" really resonated with me! I wrote a blog post about it last week, and decided to share my thoughts on the podcast as well! I have already found it a handy tool to help outside-the-box thinkers to articulate how they visualize their own brains. 

In this episode:

• Linear thinking

• Skip thinking

• Different types of Matrix Thinking

Links:

Embracing Intensity Community

Patreon

Today’s guest has an amazing story to tell about her experience as a highly, exceptionally to profoundly gifted (HEPG) person. She and I met in gifted adult groups, and I knew I had to have her on the show.

Kari Betton is a coach and mentor for sensitive, gifted, and highly creative individuals and has much knowledge about how we can visualize the brain. Starting the Chicago Neurodiversity and Acceptance Community, as well as her work around kink openness and sex positivity, encouraged Kari to write her blog, Follow Your Own Flow. The blog focuses on her life as a multi-exceptional and gifted adult, analyzes the essential elements of creativity and presence, and challenges extrinsic paradigms.

Show Highlights:

• Kari’s intense passion for taking the extrinsic and integrating it with the essential
• “Extrinsic”--anything that is not the essential nature (“the fluff”) of a person
• Gifted people, perfectionism, and nature vs. nurture
• How Kari’s intensity forces her to “call people out on stuff”---and they don’t always like it
• How Kari knew she was different, even before she was found to be HEPG (highly, exceptionally, and profoundly gifted)
• Why Kari felt like “an alien” when she was radically accelerated to 5th grade as a 3-year-old, and then put back into first grade a couple of years later
• How Kari was recognized as a prodigy
• How being black and her positive disintegration affected how Kari expressed herself
• The revelation about structure that changed her life
• How Kari had to tone down and tune out her intensity all the time, as she struggled to connect to the totality of her inner self
• Why creativity is the essential element of her multi-potentialism
• How Kari felt that her intensity was out of control with positive disintegration, “going to the underworld every day”
• How Kari lets out her fire by running and doing yoga
• Meta-thinking, spiral thinking, and parallel processing of anxiety
• How sleep helps Kari harness the power of her intensity, but she had to work hard to figure it out
• How and why she resisted all routine for awhile
• How she uses personal habits to be in the moment wherever she is
• The best advice Kari’s received has often been from herself because she’s found it difficult to find good mentors
• How she learned to integrate her body and mind, realizing that her mind is multidimensional, but the body only exists in this dimension
• How “one-upmanship” plays into the gifted culture
• How Kari creates space for the intellectual intensity
• How Kari helps others through her coaching business and her neurodiversity group
• Kari’s parting words: “We need to understand that the more that we holistically assess everyone, we’ll start to understand what we need for our gifted communities.”

Resources:

Square Space

Belonging Here: A Guide for the Spiritually Sensitive Person by Judith Blackstone

Gifted Grownups: The Mixed Blessings of Extraordinary Potential by Marylou Kelly Streznewski

Visit Embracing Intensity for more information about our community and our upcoming May 11 Group Call with Kate Arms on Thriving with Intensity.

April's theme is Time & Energy Balance. As a tool for finding balance, Rukshana Triem joins us to talk about connecting with nature.

Connecting with Nature is an amazing session to help everyone understand the importance of our health when we expose our mind and body to the outdoors. The simple things that we can practice and implement into our daily lives so we have more inner peace, love and energy. The audience will have clear understanding that nature is not intimidating but taking one step at a time that builds confidence to taking bigger steps towards other things in life. In this workshop Rukshana will share the five key values that she Teaches in her various coaching programs.

Rukshana has a huge Hunger to serve, to bring deep connection to transformation women all around the world. Rukshana Hafez Triem is an Author, inspirational Speaker, and CEO of a Womens Lifestyle Coaching LLC. Her journey started in Zambia living in a Refugee camp. Due to Trauma and overcoming her sexual abuse past, she was able to create a comfortable lifestyle that supports her family. She shares her story with others as she travels around the world, doing public speaking, workshops and Retreat and her New Mission Building schools in Africa, in Mozambique, Malawi and Zambia. For upcoming events in your area, sign up for the news letter here.

Call recordings for this and all past calls can be found in the Embracing Intensity Community.

In this episode, Rukshana shares: 

• A brief guided meditation on nature.
• Her 5 steps to connecting with nature.
• How nature helped her get through leaving a war torn country as a young refugee. 
• How connecting with nature helps connect with yourself.

Links:

Embracing Intensity Community

Embracing Intensity Patreon

Rukshana's Website

Firmina Foundation

Do you or someone you love struggle to find balance in life because of the effects of ADHD? This is the show with the answers! My guest has been where you are because he has ADHD and his passion is to help others.

Brendan Mahan has a Master’s of Education and School Counseling. He’s an internationally-known ADHD Executive Functioning consultant, coach, and host of the ADHD Essentials podcast. He helps people manage the emotional, academic, and lifestyle impacts ADHD has on the people who have it and those who care for them. I was introduced to Brendan when he appeared on the ADHD ReWired podcast with Eric Tivers, where Brendan talked about his concept of “The Wall of Awful.”

Show Highlights:

• The things Brendan is intensely passionate about: helping parents and non-ADHD people understand, storytelling, being a husband and father, and martial arts
• How Brendan’s intensity shows itself in stress and sensory overwhelm
• How Brendan grew up as a sensitive kid who was afraid to disappoint adults
• Brendan as a product of the 80s and 90s toxic masculinity who also had a nurturing side
• How he learned to say “the quiet parts” out loud
• How ADHD makes you impulsive and large, and Brendan tries to rein it in and not overwhelm others
• Establishing boundaries when people unload on you
• How to decompress
• Two recent moments of overwhelm for Brendan
• As an ADHD coach and consultant, Brendan works with kids, adults, families, schools, and mental health organizations as a speaker, podcaster, and (now) interim principal
• How Brendan inverts the fire of anxiety to use it to be more compassionate and empathic
• Why we need to give each other permission to struggle with mental health issues just like physical issues
• Habits that help Brendan the most: a calendar for scheduling time and commitments, and his wife and kids who help slow him down at times
• Why Brendan doesn’t believe in “lazy,” but believes it’s learned helplessness born out of a lack of skills
• Why you shouldn’t tell a kid, “This is easy”
• How much of Brendan’s coaching work comes down to problem-solving
• Why you CAN do that thing you think you can’t
• How you disempower those who want to help you when you don’t accept their help
• Brendan’s advice: “Be willing to be vulnerable with those whom you care about and care about you.”

Resources:

Find out more about Brendan and his work:

Brendan Mahan

Email: [email protected]

Self-Reg by Stuart Shanker

Three upcoming events: Visit the Embracing Intensity Facebook page to join our EI Community or Patreon--

April 27: Seasonal Potluck in the Pacific NW

April 29: Ignite Your Power course: Time and Energy Balance

May 11: A (10:00 am Pac.) group call with Kate Arms on Thriving with Intensity