Hi everybody! This week's show features the DELIGHTFUL Emily Altman, who is hilarious, smart, interesting, beautiful, and just generally wonderful. Emily is a comedy writer and a PROFESSOR OF ITALIAN LANGUAGE, and she is here to tell us about her Bulgarian roommate, the time she passed out at a Halloween party, and why old people sing like birds.

Also, Julie has become addicted to Candy Crush, despite its unacceptable aesthetic; Lars Ulrich and his art-buying ways; The most obnoxious thing a couple at a Brooklyn party said recently, why Jeff Koons stinks, and why editing TOO CUTE: PUPPIES would be the worst job.

Enjoy this show like it's the last thing you'll ever do before you expire!