Kate Hastings Show

Emotional Needs vs Emotional Strategies


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Emotional needs are the internal conditions required for a human nervous system to feel safe, settled, and capable of connection. They exist so the body can regulate emotion, restore capacity, and stay present in relationship without living in a constant state of threat. Emotional strategies, on the other hand, are the learned behaviors and patterns the nervous system develops when those needs are not consistently met. Strategies are not needs. They are adaptations. They help us cope, function, and survive in environments where safety, rest, support, or connection did not feel reliably available. Most people confuse emotional needs with emotional strategies because strategies often reduce discomfort quickly. When something lowers anxiety in the short term, the nervous system treats it as essential, even if it does not heal anything. This is how pain gets shuffled around instead of resolved. Discomfort gets moved into productivity, control, discipline, independence, or emotional distance, and because those things are praised, the underlying emotion goes unnoticed. It looks like strength, drive, being nice, or having high standards, but nothing about the actual emotion is being tended to. What is happening is management, not regulation. Management keeps you functional. Regulation is what allows emotion to move, settle, and integrate. Kate Hastings | Mental Health Coach 🌐 Website: phenyx.fit 📩 Email: [email protected] 📱 Instagram: @coachkate1 Mission Med+ | Dr. Kristin Oakes Website: www.missionmedplus.com Text 24/7 or Call: 786-692-9775 Email: [email protected] Instagram: @MissionMed.Plus Mention "Coach Kate" for 10% off all services
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Kate Hastings ShowBy Kate Hastings

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