This is a tough topic to talk about. Some of us are lost when it comes to encouraging our husbands to lead. Many of us bristle at the thought of "submission" and letting him lead. 

I know I have good intentions when it comes to wanting Jason to lead. But when push comes to shove, when I get tired and irritable, when it comes down to it...I often don't let him lead or encourage him to lead how I should. 

So what does it look like to let our husbands lead? And how can we encourage him to do so? That's what we are chatting about today. 

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This is a topic that I need to visit often because it's really easy to forget these lessons. It's easy to stay focused on my husband and encouraging him for a day or two but then life gets busy and he falls off my priority list. 

I honestly don’t have a lot of real advice myself, because it’s something I struggle with. So today, I am going to be sharing some excellent advice from Christian women who are far wiser than myself and who have been married far longer than I have.

Encouraging Your Husband to Lead with Love

“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a woman criticize her husband’s ability to lead. Whether he’s failing, in her eyes, to be the spiritual head of the household or just not appearing to want to take the lead in parenting, budgeting, or planning the family vacations, many wives believe their husbands are passive. 

I’ve learned now to ask the obvious – but sometimes uncomfortable – question: Have you ever let him lead?” - When a Woman Inspires Her Husband by Cindi McMenamin

Ouch. I have to quietly raise my hand here. In our early days of marriage I know I’ve felt that same thing or at least thought it. But through studying what it means to be submission and to let my husband lead, I came to realize that while yes, our husbands absolutely do need to eventually step up to the plate, I wasn’t really letting him lead.

I'm not naturally a quiet and gentle person. I'm more of a bull dozer who likes to jump in and get things done. It's just my personality. What can I say? I'm the first born. But that's not an excuse when it comes to my marriage and following what God teaches on marriage. 

So I think that’s the very first thing we need to ask ourselves (or maybe even ask ourselves every 6 months or so): Are we even letting our husbands lead? Are we leaving room for him to do so? Giving him opportunities to lead? Quietly and lovingly encouraging him and letting him know that we have confidence in him?

It comes down to respect.

I think something that this topic comes back to again and again is: respect. 

One terrific way to make the room for him to lead and to help encourage him to lead, is to make sure that he feels your respect. Men and women tend to do things differently. We do things on different time frames, we approach problems and subjects differently.

Sometimes, it's really easy to jump in and take over if our husband isn't doing something the way we would like or the way we would do it (I am very guilty of this!).

All of this is communicating to him that we don’t respect him. And honestly, if the shoe were on the other foot, I would not want him treating me that way.

Here are some real men who responded and shared what it looks like in their homes when their wives let them lead:

“Ask me for opinions and input on decisions.”