Enlighten: Uplift & Inspire

My guest today is Hilary Carr, my beloved aunt. Hilary is a Social Worker, Writer and our family Heart-Storian! I left in a minute of pre-show dialogue where I explain this new word I made up for her. I also want to prepare you for our spotty WiFi connection - as Hil says: it's the impact of living in the woods of Maine. Sometimes Hilary's word are slowed down, stretched like taffy and then sped up, a tad garbled, so I did my best to edit those awkward moments, trusting that the quality of our conversation will come through. Raising 5 wonderful children, working as a Social Worker in hospitals, community centers, hospice and in private practice, Hilary's career as a mental health advocate, resource allocator and counselor has been rich and meaningful. Hil shows up to life with curiosity, compassion and deep connection. It's an honor to shine light on someone who has had such a profound impact on me and my life. Check out the show notes for a list of the books Hilary referenced as well as her InstaGram page. Enjoy the podcast! Links: Instagram: @hilarycarrjones "Caste" by Isabel Wilkerson "How to Be An AntiRacist" by Ibram X Kendi "My Grandmother's Hands" by Resmaa Menakem" "The Invention of Wings" by Sue Monk Kidd

My guest today is Patrick Heffernan. Patrick is a skilled & gifted yoga teacher, actor, dancer and impassioned human. Don't you love it when someone you love and respect introduces you to someone they love and respect and you immediately understand why they care for each other and feel blessed to join in the love fest! Well that is what I felt when Shawna Emerick introduced Patrick Heffernan into my life. Thank you, Shawna! Celebrating your kindred spirit sibling-hood with Patrick and delighting in the integrity, heart and humor you both infuse into your exceptional yoga classes and into life. I marvel at how wise someone in their early 30s can be, attributing it to Patrick being an 'old soul', but I also know it comes from his devoted study of the ancient wisdom of the Yoga Sutras. I so appreciate Patrick's gift in seamlessly integrating this ancient, universal, spiritual wisdom grounded in the union of humanity and divinity in an accessible, relevant way. Check out the show notes for links to Patrick's website www.patrickyoga.com and the monthly program he and Shawna offer "Journey to the Peak", along with his newly launched, year-long program "Journey to You" and the Yoga Sutra app Patrick referenced in our conversation. Enjoy the podcast! Links: www.patrickyoga.com IG: @pat_heffnyc Twitter: @pat_heffnyc IG: @shawnaemerick The Yoga Sutras app

My guest today is Robert "Zulu" Whitaker. Zulu was released from prison in early March after serving 38 years. When my dear friend, Tarik Greene, brought Zulu with him to pick up furniture that my husband and I were donating to a new residency that MADE Transitional Services recently opened, I was so moved by Zulu's kindness. Within a few minutes of meeting this gentle, respectful man, I invited Zulu to be a podcast guest: I wanted to provide him a forum to tell his story. And despite his nervousness, his shaking knees, Zulu began to unpack his story. I am not an investigative journalist, nor a court attorney or judge, so I had no need to get to the bottom of anything, no agenda in our conversation. I wanted to be present to what unfolded, so I simply remained curious and compassionate. As I imagined with such a long prison sentence, Zulu was convicted of murder, but wanted him to tell me what he was ready to share. In subsequent conversations with Zulu since this recording, I have discovered more about his childhood, his parents' alcoholism, his father being sent to jail for killing his mother, his sister's determination to keep him and his brothers alive, his year of homelessness and the ways a child and later an adult learns how to survive, in the streets, in the system, in prison. I do know Zulu's remorse is deep and sincere and that he is searching to find meaning and purpose now that he has been released from prison. Zulu is deeply appreciative of the respect my husband and I have shown him, he has eagerly embraced the chance to be in nature, meditate, take long walks as he sorts out his past and steps humbly into his future. Enjoy the podcast. Links: Instagram- @made-transistions @tarik_jg @toneyearljr MADE Transitions Web Site

I took a break last week and didn't post an episode. You may not have noticed, and that's okay. I know how busy life can be, how full many of our lives are and how hard it is to keep up with all that is in front of us. What I did notice was a different energy within myself when taking a break last week. I was kinder, gentler to myself. How lovely! An old energy that I am letting go of is the judgment and rigidity that sounded something like this: "You have to post an episode every week, you need to be consistent, it's confusing for listeners if you skip a week." Mmmm, not sure any of those statements are true. I do care about being consistent and I certainly don't want to confuse my listeners, but I also think it is more important to be honest and authentic and take a break when necessary. So I figured I would mention my break, just in case you wondered why you didn't receive an email announcing March 22nd's episode :) Focusing on the positive meaning of a break, particularly in our capitalistic culture that rewards work-a-holism, busy-ness, and productivity, what is your perception of taking a break? How do you handle breaks? Is it easy for you to give yourself a break? Is it hard for you to give yourself a break? What makes it possible? What stops you? How do you treat your self when taking a break? How do you treat yourself after taking a break? Part of the reason I took a break from posting a podcast episode last week, was due to the fact that my husband and I had just returned from having taken a larger break. Thanks to the generosity of our dear friends, Matt and Margaret Balitsaris, we were in the Bahamas for nearly 3 weeks. Believe me that was a deep, glorious, healing break. Let go of the guilt trip and drop into the gifts that a break offers. Whether you need a break from screens, devices, social media, a break from conversation, certain people, a break from unhealthy patterns, from the violence and chaos in our world, please give yourself a break. And while taking a break, check out the show notes for a link to Memphis soul legend Rufus Thomas' song "Break Down" and let it move you to join the phenomenal dancers in the audience who truly break down! As well as a link to Shaun King's podcast "The Break Down" to stay present to social justice issues. May we all honor and embrace taking breaks; small breaks, large breaks, daily, weekly, monthly and seasonal breaks - it's good for the soul! Enjoy the podcast! Links: Rufus Thomas "Break Down" Shaun King's podcast "The Break Down"

My guest today is Kate Holby. Kate, together with her sister, Sara, and the appreciated support of their parents, started a small business 12 years ago, called Ajiri Tea Company. The Swahili translation of the word "Ajiri" means 'to employ' and that is exactly what the Holby sisters have done. Ajiri sources tea from small-scale farms in Western Kenya and employs 60 women in the Kenyan region to hand make all the packaging, using dried bark from banana trees. Ajiri asked the tea farmers and women where the profits should go, and they all agreed they wanted profits to be invested in education for the orphans in their community. 100% of profits goes directly to Orphan Education. Ajiri then hired two exceptional Kenyan social workers, who identify vulnerable orphans, providing the concrete financial support of school fees and living supplies, while also providing the emotional and psychological support to address their difficult living situations. Ajiri cares about the quality of their relationships, from their empowering relationship to the farmers and women making packages, to their social workers and Ajiri scholars, to their phenomenal, loyal customer base who believe in the mission of this truly Kenyan company. And to think that the simple act of sipping a cup of Kenyan tea could have such a positive ripple effect on the lives of so many! Check out the show notes for links to the Ajiri Tea website and their Instagram & Twitter accounts. Explore ways you can help support the inspiring work for this great company. Enjoy the podcast! Links: ajiritea.com IG: @ajiritea Twitter: @AjiriTea

My guest today is Cheryl Seeley. Cheryl is an Early Childhood Educator, Director of an After-School Arts Program and a trained Doula. It's remarkably touching to hear about the countless children and families over the past 20 years, that she has advocated for and wrapped in her loving embrace. I admired Cheryl's courage to step out of her comfort zone and speak up about two terrifying racial assaults. She shares the context behind what pushed her to post a personal statement publicly, regarding these seemingly unrelated attacks on 2 Black men: Christian Cooper and George Floyd. Raised in a family of love, Cheryl truly is a conduit of love, light, compassion and gratitude. Check out the show notes for Cheryl's' Instagram account to see her powerful words. Enjoy the podcast! Links: Cheryl's Instagram Liz Carr Sophia Gennusa

My guest today is Patty Forbes. In addition to being an exceptional psychotherapist, Patty is a dear friend who graciously invited me into the dying process when her beloved husband, Wayne Pedzwater, was struggling with stomach cancer 16 years ago. Wayne was a gifted, respected bass player, incredibly inspiring human being, who taught all of us who knew him, so much about living life fully, and at the all too young age of 48, about dying with dignity. Patty describes what she calls "The Gift in the Black Box", all the life lessons that accompanied her deep loss. Patty understands what it truly means to be present, not just to her husband's dying and death, but to be present to her own grief, to be present to moving on and finding meaning in life. She also learned about the power of choice, and how to up her game. She's been documenting these lessons and gifts and will eventually capture her story in a book. A book I know will have relevance for all of us. Skilled psychotherapist, trusted friend, with a great sense of humor, and woman of integrity. Patty speaks of her friends being a bright light in her life, but I am blessed to have Patty Forbes as a treasured bright light in my life. Enjoy the podcast! Links: Email Patty

Two weeks after our 20-inch snow storm, the snow has been walked on, patted down, rained on, thawed and frozen over once again. My snowy path has transformed into an icy, crunchy, crusty, frozen path. Thank goodness for a pair of crampons a friend gave me about a month ago. It reminds me of putting on an old pair of galoshes, those rubber overshoes to protect our feet from rain. My new crampons have a rubber outline that fits over my boots, with spiked iron chains that cover the sole of my boot to prevent me from slipping on ice and snow. How appropriate for this week's journaling from Layla Saad's book "Me and White Supremacy" which focused on white apathy, white centering, tokenism, white savior-ism and optical allyship. The work of anti-racism and these terms can be as precarious as the icy, crunchy, frozen path I traverse. We use excuses of tiredness, procrastination, overwhelm and fear to avoid engaging in anti-racism practices, like we use excuses to avoid walking in these winter conditions. We find ourselves numb from another black person murdered by police brutality, or opting out of doing the inner work because we are overly sensitive. Both the path of anti-racism and this frozen path are tricky and pull us out of our comfort zone, however each offers healing and beauty, we would otherwise miss out on. We can equip ourselves with resources, so please throw on your crampons, and take a winter walk with me! What we first deemed treacherous is now manageable and worth every step of the journey! I am equipping myself with courage and crampons, for this frozen path has much to teach me. After all, beneath the layers of crusty, snow and ice, lies the promise of spring! Even though the thick layers of winter snow and ice prevent us from seeing all the seeds of spring that lay below the surface, may we trust in a world that will thaw and transform our racism. As the earth begins to warm up and everything begins to grow, may our hearts warm up so we can cultivate racial healing, equity and justice. Check out the show notes for links to books and movies referenced. Links: "Me and White Supremacy" by Layla Saad Good Ancestor Podcast The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson My Grandmother's Hands by Resmaa Menakem How to Be an AntiRascist by Ibram X. Kendi The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin White Rage by Carol Anderson Make Change by Shaun King Ma Rainey's Black Bottom One Night in Miami Judas and the Black Messiah The 2 Killings of Sam Cooke

Today we enter Week Three of Black History Month. I am moved by all the tributes on television and social media to Black artists, activists, trailblazers and truthsayers. May these tributes be infused in us, not just this month, but throughout the year, throughout our lives. Let us stay aware and awake to the courage and sacrifices made, as we all do our part to contribute to cultivating true racial justice. In honor of Black History Month, I've decided to do more inner work on racism in order to face my white privilege and take responsibility on a deeper level to dismantle white supremacy. Author Layla Saad provides a very helpful guide in her book "Me and White Supremacy" as I continue to read and dive into her prompts for meaningful journaling. Toni Morrison's powerful words years ago when interviewed by Charlie Rose, took white supremacy to task by emphasizing that racism is a white person's responsibility to address."If you can only be tall because somebody is on their knees, then you have a serious problem. And my feeling is white people have a very, very serious problem. And they should start thinking about what they can do about it. Take me out of it." Racism is crazy, it is a neurosis, a cancer that will continue to metastasize in this country unless we, white people do our part to face it, be uncomfortable, inconvenienced and take responsibility for dismantling it. We have a serious problem, a very, very serious problem. What are we going to do about it? One concrete thing I am doing about it is letting the journal prompts from "Me and White Supremacy" take root. Having just completed Week Two in Saad's book, I was grateful to reflect on the topics of Anti-Blackness, Racial Stereotypes and Cultural Appropriation. This book and these journal prompts call me to go within, to stop making it about other people. Who am I? How do I respond? Can I find meaningful ways to engage with other white people about our race, about our responsibility in creating, sustaining and benefiting from white privilege? Can I stop my mental gymnastics that prevent me from seeing my own race or what my race has done to Black, Indigenous People of Color? This past year I've also added Black Indigenous People of Color (BIPOC), those working for equal justice and prison reform, social justice activists, enlightened political and spiritual leaders, those terrorized by police brutality and white supremacy to my daily Metta meditation. I think of these individuals and groups of people everyday, holding them close to my heart. I typically say these meditations while walking up to the top of Hook Mountain, but if I am not at the mountain, I make sure to say this wherever I am: sitting on my meditation cushion, walking in the woods, by the river, skiing, biking, wherever… This is a small, humble way I personally take responsibility for my thoughts and beliefs. As Layla Saad says: "Create the change the world needs by creating change within yourself."I take this very, very serious problem of racism to heart and will continue to create change within myself. May you be inspired to do your inner work. Check out the links below to hear Toni Morrison's interview with Charlie Rose and access the book "Me and White Supremacy". Enjoy the podcast! Links: Toni Morrison clip with Charlie Rose "Me and White Supremacy" by Layla Saad Good Ancestor Podcast

This is the second week of Black History Month and I am entering Week Two of my reading and journaling of "Me and White Supremacy". We had nearly two feet of snow this past week and I found my snow walks in the woods to be a helpful place to process some of the thoughts that surfaced for me. I ventured out last Monday after 12 hours of snowfall. Oh how inviting! The snow was magical, quiet, a perfect setting to be present to the peaceful beauty around me, while letting thoughts about white supremacy, my white supremacy emerge. As I was sorting though these memories, the wooded trail had not yet been walked on and I found myself lifting my knees high toward my chest and then sinking down knee deep into the untouched, powdery snow. What an appropriate metaphor this snowy path is for walking the internal path of white supremacy. As I turned inward to take an honest look at my white privilege, white fragility, tone policing, white silence, white superiority, and white exceptionalism, I realized I was working up a sweat. My high knee lifting and stomping feet provided a good cardio work out as I delved deeper into these concepts/memories/images. I began to think of the ancestors that have literally and figuratively walked before me. You see, I guess we all have a blend of ancestors, those who have addressed and grappled with white supremacy, those who denied or ignored it. I have both ancestors who were active members of the underground railroad and ancestors who were slave owners. They all run through my blood and it is a heavy load. Oh my, the guilt and shame is tangible, like these heavy, laborious steps in this deep snow. It takes energy, perseverance and stamina for me to stay on the path, to not get lost in the woods of my mind, not let the intensity of pain paralyze me on my journey. I whispered to myself: "Stay true, Deb, face the ugly truth and the inspiring truth. Don't turn away from the disturbing emotions, be with them, learn from them. As the snow melts around me, may my conditioned white supremacy also melt. May I tell the truth to myself and others with integrity. May I cultivate the courage to speak up and out whenever I witness racist behavior. May I continue to embody more fully anti-racist thoughts, words and actions. May I devote myself to healing and restoring dignity of all Black, Indigenous, People of Color. And…may you also find meaningful ways to honor Black History month. Check out the links to learn more about Layla Saad, her website, podcast and purchase her book "Me and White Supremacy". Enjoy the podcast! Links: http://laylafsaad.com/ Good Ancestor Podcast