Enough Factor Podcast

How many of you knew somewhere down deep that your relationship wasn’t really what you wanted but because he wanted you, you overrode your intuition? That was me in all my adult relationships until my late 40’s. It wasn't for the lack of information out there about relationships.

In response, Relationship Coach Tonika Maria said something that made me fall back in my chair.
"What are you pretending not to know?", she asked! It was such a penetrating question that a surface answer just wouldn't do. Likewise, this episode goes deeply into the tendency in women to ignore the obvious especially when it comes to matters of the heart.

ABOUT TONIKA

Tonika Maria is an author, women’s life group leader & speaker who loves to use her passion for practical wisdom and truth to help Christian women successfully navigate tough relationship transitions and “wilderness seasons” with peace, clarity and greater levels of wholeness.

From her own wilderness season of seeking to be married without being whole in Christ first, she learned the hard way on how to walk in wholeness and completeness in Christ. Because of that, her desire is to help women become rooted, grounded, fixed and founded in the love of God before seeking to be married.

Her gift of writing had been well-developed for many years, however, it was the unexpected and untimely death of her father which served as a wake-up call for her to get real, be healed and move on from a dead-end relationship so that she could fully walk in her purpose and destiny and no longer waste time. Her main purpose is to help bring clarity for women who are struggling, anxious, and confused by helping them to walk into their destinies with wholeness and freedom from dead-end relationships.

MENTIONS

Shannon Evette,
https://www.facebook.com/shannon.tanner2

“Busy and Dizzy” (Minister Rodeco Roberts)
https://www.facebook.com/rudeco.roberts

Dominating vs Desolate Woman
Captivating (book by John and Stasi Eldredge)
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008745BTG/

Wellness For The Modern Woman Workshop
October 16, 2021, 10:00am Eastern
The Wellness Craze Studio
Clayton, NC
https://www.thewellnesscraze.com/event-details/oct-16-wellness-workshop-presents-wellness-for-the-modern-woman

Coffee & Conversations
September 25, 2021, 9:00am Eastern
Facebook LIVE: https://fb.me/e/2ssuAypgH
YouTube LIVE: https://youtu.be/EMNQJaxs57k
IGTV: https://www.instagram.com/yourcoachsuzette/channel/

Get on Suzette’s mailing list
http://www.suzettesolutions.com/contact-us/

OTHER WAYS TO CONNECT WITH TONIKA

Website: https://tonikabreeden.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TonikaBreeden
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/getrealbehealed/
LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/tonikamaria
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ladytmaria.breeden/

CREDITS

Music by DH The Composer https://linktr.ee/dhthecomposer
Cover Design by Odyssey Administrative Services LLC http://odysseyadministrativeservices.com
Cover Photo from gallery of royalty free photos on Pixteller.com

Back when I was growing up the ideal family was the Cleavers in the popular 1957 television sitcom, Leave It to Beaver. But the truth is families aren’t generally like that. People are flawed. And flawed parents make flawed decisions that create flawed environments. And sadly, though it is normal to desire a loving mutually supportive relationship with mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, cousins and so on, sometimes that is not possible. To dive more deeply, I invited Certified Transformation Life Coach, Teshubiyah Elias of The Growth Project who says “Yes, they are my family, but I am my family too.”

ABOUT TESHUBIYAH

Teshubiyah Elias, founder of The Growth Project and Coach to women who have experienced trauma, is herself a survivor of a life of trauma from the time she was a toddler. On Instagram, she is very candid about the challenge of pursuing health and wellness yet surrounded by family members whose development has been complicated by addiction and incarceration. Daily, she chooses her emotional health and wellbeing over the blind obedience of her toddler and 13 year old self.

Her discovery of her purpose happened as she shared her experiences openly on social media. This led to women asking her questions like how did you survive this, how did you deal with that, and sharing their experiences of trauma too. It was their vulnerability and deep desire for help that inspired her to get even more serious about her growth.

She now assists women through the healing process by encouraging them to confront their pain, realize that they are not alone, and through communication with others, to feel hope. Her Solutions-Focused Coaching formula is Self Awareness, Self Acceptance, & Execution. She believes that Through Self-Accountability, Intentional Healing and having the tough conversations, you can CHANGE THE NARRATIVE!

MENTIONS

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel A. van der Kolk
https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748

The Growth Project
https://www.thegrowthproject.site/

The Growth Project Merchandise
https://www.thegrowthproject.site/category/apparel

Addiction Stunting Maturity
https://boardwalkrecoverycenter.com/how-addiction-stunts-emotional-growth/
https://www.recovery.org/act-your-age-recovering-your-emotional-immaturity/
and other references can be searched via Google

“Everybody needs the dignity of their process.” (Patrice Washington )
https://patricewashington.com/listen

OTHER WAYS TO CONNECT WITH TESHUBIYAH

Podcast: https://anchor.fm/teshubiyah/episodes/The-Growth-Project

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_thegrowthproject/

LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/Thegrowthproject

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ReturningUntoMyFirstLove

CREDITS

This episode is brought to you by WELLNESS FOR THE MODERN WOMAN, a workshop for the woman who has everything yet still feels unfulfilled convening October 16, 2021 in Clayton North Carolina. To learn more, go to thewellnesscraze.com, "Upcoming Events."

Music by DH The Composer https://linktr.ee/dhthecomposer

Cover Design by Odyssey Administrative Services LLC http://odysseyadministrativeservices.com

Cover Photo from gallery of royalty free photos on Pixteller.com

The modern woman, defined, is someone who goes after what she wants without asking for permission or apologizing for it. She doesn’t wait for a man’s approval or blessing. She goes for her dreams. While that may sound empowered, in theory, the way you go after something speaks volumes. All too often, I see high achievers chase what belongs to someone else. I see the aspirationally successful run through caution lights and stop signs to have what amounts to someone else’s definition of success. Then when they arrive there, they are disappointed that it didn’t give them what they really desired. Today’s episode examines this success trap. The ups, the downs, the sideways of trying to live up to someone else’s definition and the cost to your soul’s joy.

ABOUT ME

I transformed a temp position into a business in less than a year. By all intents and purposes, she was successful. Yet, over the subsequent 7 years, she felt trapped. What was she missing? She authored 3 books, launched 2 more businesses, discovered her purpose and finally found her Mr. Right, yet none of it brought true contentment. It wasn't until what she built fell apart that she found her missing piece. And now, this Life and Relationship Solutions Coach helps achievement-driven women redefine what makes them enough, on their own terms, so they can experience love and life in a brand new way.

MENTIONS

The Toll: Women Have To Be The Best, And That Has A Cost (Forbes.com)
https://www.forbes.com/sites/lizelting/2019/07/11/the-toll-women-have-to-be-the-best-and-that-has-a-cost/?sh=4c6ac7221008

New Study Finds Alarming Gaps in Women’s Health Knowledge and Healthcare Experiences (CISION PR Newswire)
https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/new-study-finds-alarming-gaps-in-womens-health-knowledge-and-healthcare-experiences-301285254.html

“Every wound needs a witness” (Iyanla Vanzant)
http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/iyanla-vanzant-on-colorism-a-wound-needs-a-witness-video

Wellness For The Modern Woman, a wellness workshop in Clayton, NC for women who have achieved significant success yet still feel unfulfilled. Wellness Coach Tiffany Matier, owner of Craze Wellness Studio, and I are teaming up to help them find their missing piece so they can take charge in their lives and flourish in their relationships. For more information and tickets, go to thewellnesscraze.com, and click on Upcoming Events

OTHER WAYS TO CONNECT WITH ME

Email: [email protected]
Website: http://suzettesolutions.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/yourcoachsuzette
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourcoachsuzette

CREDITS

Music by DH The Composer https://linktr.ee/dhthecomposer
Cover Design by Odyssey Administrative Services LLC http://odysseyadministrativeservices.com
Cover Photo from gallery of royalty free photos on Pixteller.com

What is your definition of a “good woman”? Would your answer be different if I asked you “what is a good man?” Do you hold yourself to the same standard? If not, your definition of a good woman needs an overhaul. In this episode, Suzette exposes the blind spots of ambition and some of the misinformation that has been passed down from one ill-advised generation to another. Instead of continuing to pander the old definitions of our fore-parents, this age of enlightenment requires us to write a bolder, more robustly authentic definition.

ABOUT ME

This episode is a reach back to 2015, two months after I got married. After having 2 failed marriages and subsequent situationships with unavailable men, I recognized that my ideal of what made me a good woman was not holding up in the revealing light of relationships. If I wanted a real deal good relationship, I was going to have to let go of the old definitions handed down to me from the “strong” women in my life and write a new definition more suited to what I wanted my relationship experience to be. There was a poise and dignity that I wanted to embody but wasn’t taught. Furthermore, even though I lived in a two-parent household, I did not know how to be in a good relationship. So, my 40s were about dismantling the old and erecting new definitions that I could hold myself accountable to.

Because of that, I don’t do fluff in relationships. I get down to the core mental and emotional deficits that chasing other folks’ definitions kept me from addressing. And why, as a life coach and relationship solutionist, I offer those who want to have a greater experience of life and love a proven path to get there.

MENTIONS

Wellness For The Modern Woman, a wellness workshop in Clayton, NC for women who have achieved significant success yet still feel unfulfilled. Wellness Coach Tiffany Matier, owner of Craze Wellness & Creative Studio, and I are teaming up to help them find their missing piece so they can take charge in their lives and flourish in their relationships.

For more information and tickets, go to thewellnesscraze.com, and click on Upcoming Events. (Early Bird pricing is in effect until September 8th).

OTHER WAYS TO CONNECT WITH ME

Email: [email protected]
Website: http://suzettesolutions.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/yourcoachsuzette
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourcoachsuzette

CREDITS

Music by DH The Composer https://linktr.ee/dhthecomposer
Cover Design by Odyssey Administrative Services LLC http://odysseyadministrativeservices.com
Cover Photo from gallery of royalty free photos on Pixteller.com

Racial reconciliation is not for the faint of heart. I’ve been especially curious about the impact of BLM, racial unrest and the call for racial reckoning on interracial relationships. So I was delighted when today’s guest, Award Winning Blogger Williesha Morris agreed to have an honest conversation about it. For her, a Black woman who was moved to activism after witnessing the death of George Floyd and the outcry of BLM, to be married to a White man took on a complexity that she had not anticipated when they met and got married years before. Despite that, however, her desire to love her husband, clear-eyed yes but with empathy, models the grace and dignity that’s so needed today. So, with this episode, I hope that something will be deposited in the soil of our humanity that will turn down the noise so we can see one another as worthy humans.

ABOUT WILLIESHA

Williesha Morris has spent her career either informing and educating others through the written word or helping others as an administrative assistant. She's been a freelance writer since 2012 and has been published in numerous publications. Her blog, My Freelance Life, was named one of the best blogs for writers in 2016. Williesha has been committed to advocating for racial and social justice since 2016. When she's not journaling or searching for the next big story idea, she's talking non-stop about the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

MENTIONS

Harry and Meghan Interview with Oprah
https://youtu.be/Tl9KT9RwiGc

Any Day Now
Season 3 Episode 17 (41:40 minutes in)
https://youtu.be/q7c_h7iq6b0

Comic Con
https://www.comicon.com

Dragon Con
https://www.dragoncon.org/

The Lovings
https://www.npr.org/2021/06/12/1005848169/loving-day-interracial-marriage-legal-origin

Marvel Cinematic Universe
https://www.marvel.com/movies

My Freelance Life
http://www.myfreelancelife.com/

WOC Podcasters
https://wocpodcasters.co/

Patrice Washington
“Everybody needs the dignity of their process.”
https://patricewashington.com/listen

OTHER WAYS TO CONNECT WITH WILLIESHA

Website: http://www.myfreelancelife.com/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/willieshamorris
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/freelance-writer-community-management-tech-accessibility-mental-health/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/willieshacmorris

CREDITS

Music by DH The Composer https://linktr.ee/dhthecomposer
Cover Design by Odyssey Administrative Services LLC http://odysseyadministrativeservices.com
Cover Photo from gallery of royalty free photos on Pixteller.com

Are you trying to find your purpose? Well, my guest Arika Davenport of She Pursues Purpose LLC, has good news! Your purpose is not lost! So how do you know what your purpose is? In our conversation, Arika shares what she calls the “Five Commandments to Pursuing Purpose.” These commandments demystify purpose and forge a pathway to true fulfillment.

ABOUT ARIKA

Arika Davenport, founder of She Pursues Purpose, leads women of faith into discovering & walking in their purpose. As a Purpose Coach, Arika helps women who are unfulfilled and unhappy with their careers to create businesses in alignment with their calling. She personally understands the struggle of balancing work life and home life all while questioning the meaning of life. Arika is passionate about helping women to identify their God given gifts & strengths in order to profit from her purpose. She Pursues Purpose offers a variety resources that brings inspiration, education & transformation to every purpose driven woman

MENTIONS

Purpose Chasing Nation
https://www.facebook.com/groups/212752833225535

Patrice Washington
https://patricewashington.com/

Purpose to Platform (P2P)
https://patricewashington.com/p2p

OTHER WAYS TO CONNECT WITH ARIKA

Website: https://shepursuespurpose.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/she.pursues.purpose
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arika-davenport-3865821a9
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shepursuespurpose

CREDITS

Music by DH The Composer https://linktr.ee/dhthecomposer
Cover Design by Odyssey Administrative Services LLC http://odysseyadministrativeservices.com
Cover Photo from gallery of royalty free photos on Pixteller.com

Spiritual codependency isn’t a term you hear very often. I don’t even know if it’s a thing. But in today’s episode with Dr. Vernell Deslonde we explore how being dependent on someone else’s spiritual connection keeps you from connecting with God, Your Inner Guidance System, for yourself. The strength of her making that connection is evident in every word as she shares her journey from pain to purpose and the spiritual connection that was critical to her rebuilding her life after divorce, parenting two young children and addressing the 1.1 million dollars in debt she was left with. If your relationship has left you splintered and questioning your enoughness, this episode is a reminder that you are greater than what happened to you.

ABOUT DR. VERNELL

Dr. Vernell is an author, speaker, published scholar, and Clarity Coach based in Los Angeles, CA. She holds an EdD (Doctorate Degree) in Organizational Leadership from Grand Canyon University, Masters degrees in K-12 Counseling and Higher Education from San Jose State University, and a Bachelor’s degree from the University of California at Santa Barbara where she pledged Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated.

MENTIONS

Pain to Purpose Book
https://drvernell.com/from-pain-to-purpose/

Awaken to Purpose Podcast
https://drvernell.com/podcast/

T-Shirt Line
https://drvernell.com/shop/

Purpose Awakening (Pastor Touré Roberts)
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/purpose-awakening-tour-roberts/1115951923

These Invisible Prisons (Pastor Dharius Daniels)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sc7BneXWBxM

The Money Makeover (Dave Ramsey)
https://www.amazon.com/Total-Money-Makeover-Classic-Financial/dp/1595555277

“We want a drive thru breakthrough” (Joyce Meyers)

Purpose to Platform (P2P)
http://www.patricewashington.com/p2p?fpr=suzette19

OTHER WAYS TO CONNECT WITH DR. VERNELL

Website: https://drvernell.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamdrvernell/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-vernell-deslonde-068b75/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vernell.deslonde
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/vdeslonde08

CREDITS

Music by DH The Composer https://linktr.ee/dhthecomposer
Cover Design by Odyssey Administrative Services LLC http://odysseyadministrativeservices.com
Cover Photo from gallery of royalty free photos on Pixteller.com

What’s your pacifying behavior? That behavior that attempts to soothe your unpleasant feelings but doesn’t truly address the root cause of your pain. What do you run to to avoid what you don’t want to face? As I watch how this world is imploding on a global scale, this conversation couldn’t be more timely. Collectively, we are acting out – some of us rushing headlong into busyness and others caught in a cycle of despair with every breaking news report. So many losses!

In today’s episode, Grief Coach Herdyne Mercier and I have a constructive conversation about how to navigate loss. First, exposing those pacifying behaviors for what they are. Secondly, giving us anchors, two of which are sitting in silence and hunkering down. While it is true we don’t know how long it will take for things to settle down, we can outlast difficult times and come out better.

ABOUT HERDYNE

Herdyne Mercier is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Grief Coach, retreat facilitator, and transformational speaker. She is also the host of the “Redefining Grief” podcast. Herdyne’s life calling is to create non-judgmental spaces for broken hearts to heal and purposeful living restored. Alongside her husband and best friend, Dr. Jameson Mercier, they own and operate Mercier Wellness and Consulting. They use their expertise and experience to help individuals, couples, and families deal with the heartbreak and unresolved grief that leads to unhealthy coping skills.

MENTIONS

Grief Crusaders Community
https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefCrusader/

Mercier’s Wellness and Consulting
https://mercierwellness.com/

The Redefining Grief Podcast
http://herdynemercier.com/the-redefining-grief-podcast/

The Grief Recovery Method Guide for Loss
https://herdynemercier.com/resources/

Purpose to Platform (P2P)
http://www.patricewashington.com/p2p?fpr=suzette19

OTHER WAYS TO CONNECT WITH HERDYNE

Website: https://herdynemercier.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/herdynemercier/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/herdyne-mercier-lcsw-grief-advocator-6050aa72/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/herdyne

CREDITS

Music by DH The Composer https://linktr.ee/dhthecomposer
Cover Design by Odyssey Administrative Services LLC http://odysseyadministrativeservices.com
Cover Photo from gallery of royalty free photos on Pixteller.com

I know that when we hear the word, "trauma", we automatically think about a mishap so catastrophic to our sensibilities and sense of self that we struggle both internally and externally as a result. That's true and valid and today's guest trauma survivor and Certified Trauma Professional Alexia Smith and I talk about that. But as you listen, I want you to consider the celebrated attacks on your personhood, your worth and your worthiness that have been passed down from generation to generation. Those Western-culture sized, politically correct traumas that are just as much a crime against your enoughness than any; because they tell you that you aren't enough unless you are better than the next person at complying with their definition.

In today’s episode, Alexia exposes the trauma behind it all and what has to happen in order to reclaim your happiness and your most honest state. She's stopped eating at tables where love is not being served. I have personally been challenged by our conversation to do the same and am actively choosing Divine-sized love.

ABOUT ALEXIA SMITH

Alexia is a licensed counselor, mental health coach, psycho-educator and speaker whose calling is to help adult survivors of childhood traumas to uncover the Divine lessons of their past, appreciate the gifts of their present, and create the futures they deserve. She completed her training as a Clinical Mental Health/Pastoral Counselor at Loyola University in Maryland, focused on grief, childhood trauma, eating disorders in the Black community and spirituality. She is also a Certified Trauma Professional (CTP) with special training on treatment of traumatic stress. As a survivor of childhood physical and sexual abuse, parental homicide, and anxiety and depression, she hopes to share her triumphs with other kindred Spirits who have broken parts of themselves that need restoration.

MENTIONS

Sea Lion Rescue
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11532796/

Jada Pinkett-Smith’s “Entanglement” (Red Table Talk)
https://www.facebook.com/redtabletalk/videos/718425758995043

What is Submission? (IGTV)
https://www.instagram.com/tv/CK-CYUIAZ0B/

Dr. James C. Jackson (Vanderbilt University)
https://www.icudelirium.org/team/james-c-jackson-psyd

OTHER WAYS TO CONNECT WITH ALEXIA

Website: www.thedivineperseverance.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/iamalexianicolesmith
LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/alexiansmith
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/iamalexianicolesmith

CREDITS

Music by DH The Composer https://linktr.ee/dhthecomposer
Cover Design by Odyssey Administrative Services LLC http://odysseyadministrativeservices.com
Cover Photo from gallery of royalty free photos on Pixteller.com

Is the consequence of adulting (doing the whole grown up thing) that we become more adapted to the death of ourselves rather than truly truly living? In today’s episode, I talk about the miseducation of becoming a grown up and how we’ve lost our connection to the awe of living. If you feel overwhelmed with your life or your relationship, are struggling for meaning and purpose, or are perplexed by underwhelm despite what you’ve achieved, I invite you to a deeper depth of honesty and ways to increase your experience of aliveness.

ABOUT ME

This solo episode was inspired by the movie, SOUL, and how it sparked deeper exploration into what it means to me to live a fulfilling life. To be honest, it feels like most of my life has been a blur. I remember the pain more than I remember the joy. I realize that it’s because I didn’t know who I was, so I wasn’t living my own life. I was spending so much time trying to live up to somebody else’s definition. With the sober reality that most of my life has been lived already, I am even more aware of how important it is how I spend my time and who I spend it with. Hence, this urgency to reconnect with the awe of living before my Earthly experience of life is over.

I know that this clarity will help me to better serve my clients. That’s why as a life coach and relationship solutionist, I endeavor to grow, evolve and become more myself so I can help you to do the same thing. And with my solutions, I offer those who want to have a greater experience of life and love a proven pathway.

MENTIONS

The Disney movie, SOUL
https://movies.disney.com/soul

My free 30-minute consultation
http://www.suzettesolutions.com/contact-us/

OTHER WAYS TO CONNECT WITH ME

Webinar: http://www.suzettesolutions.com/b-r-e-a-k/
Email: [email protected]
Website: http://suzettesolutions.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/yourcoachsuzette
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourcoachsuzette

CREDITS

Music by DH The Composer https://linktr.ee/dhthecomposer
Cover Design by Odyssey Administrative Services LLC http://odysseyadministrativeservices.com
Cover Photo from gallery of royalty free photos on Pixteller.com