The Problems: Pixxxxxie Grrrls; punk rock day; George Lucas’s dewlap; numerous Charles Nelson Reilly issues; why John Hüsker Dïdn’t; Merlin’s chronic struggles with facial hair; Czeching out the Beetle; our complicity in a massive Rob Halford denial; hangtags for the portly man; scalloped versus fretless; when we looked like butter-top bread; incontinent mastiffs; the overdue need for a Personal Ads tribunal; challenges of the mechanical pancreas for the working musician; and why there’s nothing wrong with Merlin that couldn’t be solved by several well-structured ass-kickings.