Hypervigilance, trauma response, and emotional disconnection in marriage — here's what every law enforcement couple needs to know. If hypervigilance has been spilling into your home life, this episode breaks down the biology, the patterns, and how to reconnect as a couple.

Short Episode Summary

In this conversation with Lt. Garrett TeSlaa of The Squad Room, we talk about:

How hypervigilance in law enforcement families develops from chronic sympathetic nervous system activation

The shift from hyperarousal on duty to hypoarousal at home, and why it creates emotional distance

Why spouses often feel like they're walking on eggshells

The role of cumulative trauma exposure and control behaviors in daily interactions

Nervous system reset strategies, awareness practices, and the importance of community for long-term resilience

An inside look at Garrett's new personal development community for first responders

I'm Cyndi Doyle, licensed professional counselor supervisor, author of Hold the Line, and founder of Code4Couples®. I help law enforcement officers, spouses, and first responder couples stay connected, healthy, and resilient — on and off the job.

📘 Free Resource / Opt-In: https://www.amazon.com/Hold-Line-Protecting-Enforcement-Relationship-ebook/dp/B08TPRTY9G#customerReviews

🎤 Book Cyndi for training, workshops, or speaking: https://code4couples.com/training/

00:00 Intro 01:00 What hypervigilance really is 04:30 How the sympathetic nervous system affects home life 08:00 Hyperarousal vs hypoarousal explained 11:00 Emotional disconnection in marriage 15:00 Control behaviors and cumulative trauma 20:00 How spouses interpret shutdown and irritability 27:00 Nervous system reset techniques 33:00 Why community matters 40:00 Inside The Academy 48:00 Final thoughts and resources