Burnout in law enforcement as an officer or spouse seems inevitable, considering the sacrifices you make and the impact on both of you.  It leads to arguments and disconnection. 

You work hard, juggling work, home, social life, projects, kids, parents, and all the other things. Appointments, meetings, and shifts keep getting added to your calendar, and paperwork is piling up. Maybe you've said yes to a few people or situations you really wanted to say no to.

You realize you're not just burning the candle on both ends, but you've added some wicks making the candle burn faster. You think if I can just get through this or that, I can take a break. You promise yourself you will never do this again, only to find yourself back in a cycle again, or maybe you don't see an end in sight at all.

You're in burnout.

Yolanda Harper, LCSW, and Cyndi Doyle discuss the impact of burnout in law enforcement officers, spouses, and relationships. 

Soul Sabbatical

In this episode of the Code4Couples podcast, host Cyndi Doyle continues the conversation with Joan Van De Greik about the severe financial impacts following her husband's traumatic brain injury (TBI) sustained in the line of duty. Joan shares the struggles they faced including mounting medical expenses, navigating insurance and workers' comp, the importance of disability and life insurance with living benefits, and ultimately starting her business Fetch Your Wealth.  

Joan's story highlights the necessity of financial planning for law enforcement families facing similar challenges.  

Fetch Your Wealth

There's an injury to the head on the job. If it's an open wound, it gets addressed, stapled up, and healed. As time goes on, you or your spouse notices that you're different.

You're changing your mood, your drive, your impulsivity and your memory isn’t what it used to be.

You aren't sure what's happening.

Despite what looks fine externally, you know something is going on.

Traumatic brain injuries or TBIs are injuries to the brain that impact the function of the brain. A TBI has consequences in cognitive, psychological, social, behavioral, and even other functioning. TBIs can range in severity and in a 2020 study, it was suggested that 38.9% of officers who reported a loss of consciousness due to a concussion had a mild TBI. When there are possible injuries to the head, the protocols to determine a TBI are often overlooked causing officers and families to struggle to determine what is happening when behavior changes.

I've heard of couples confusion when there's a change. I've seen it in my office, and I personally know of a couple here locally that spent years trying to get a department to understand a TBI that had occurred on the job and its impact on the officer today. Joan Van De Greik shares the story of her husband's injury and their years of struggle, not only to get the diagnosis but also dismissal and betrayal of the city and the fight for compensation as a work-related injury. Joan's mission is to educate other law enforcement families and help them to be financially prepared should they experience a career ending injury or line of duty death. This is part one of my interview with Joan as she shares her story of the struggle after the incident

Fetch Your Wealth

In a dual first responder home, there are times when first person and vicarious trauma must coexist. We may experience the traumatic incident firsthand and then hear the other person's view of the same incident when we are home together. While the differing perspectives can be beneficial, it's not always true. Everyone reacts to a singular incident differently, and sometimes it can be difficult to remember.

Lisa and James Robinson are a dual first responder couple who have and continue to work through traumas both individually and shared. In this episode, they share how they stumble through and what they have learned to help and support themselves and each other. 

As a couple, we are aware that officers and their families can be impacted by the job. Sometimes, the impact is trauma. That trauma can be direct or indirect. Secondary traumatic stress can impact officers, spouses, children, or even extended family and friends. We need to be aware of the signs and symptoms to help ourselves and those we love. Expert, Melissa Kaiser talks about what to look for and strategies on how to counter the impact.

For further resources or personalized assistance, Melissa Kaiser can be reached via email at melkaiconsulting@gmail.com or through LinkedIn: Melissa Kaiser.

Hypervigilance allows officers to stay aware and safe on the job. As an officer or spouse, you may be aware or have a general understanding of hypervigilance. You may even understand that what goes up must come down. Sadly, that single biological process that keeps our officers safe, can spill over like a tsunami in our relationships.

We need to be aware of how it shows up and notice it to make changes. Garrett TeSlaa, who is an active law enforcement officer and host of the very popular Squad Room podcast talks about the impact of hypervigilance on the family and the impact he's making on officers and their families.

If you are interested in joining The Academy, visit thesquadroom.net/theacademy

For any questions, reach out to Garrett at [email protected].

In this podcast episode, host Cyndi Doyle interviews Brian Ellis, a retired law enforcement officer and creator of Magnus Worx, about the importance of wellness and resilience in the law enforcement profession. Wellness is not just a physical issue, but also a mental one, and it is crucial for law enforcement organizations to prioritize the well-being of their personnel. Ellis discusses the alarming state of public safety well-being and the need for organizations to take action to support their employees. He also highlights the importance of data in measuring the effectiveness of wellness programs and the role of technology in providing a safe and anonymous environment for individuals to express their needs and concerns. Ellis encourages law enforcement personnel to prioritize their own wellness and seek out resources and support, and emphasizes the need for organizations to adopt a strategic and holistic approach to wellness.  

LinkedIn: @magnusworx 

Instagram: @magnusworx 

Magnusworx.com 

National Command and Staff College 

The Theory of MAGNUS OVEA: A General Theory of Human Performance & Wellbeing

My husband and I were super naive when it came to understanding how his job was going to impact our relationship. I saw it as a career path, just like any other. I mean, sure, there was danger and shift work, but what more could there be? No one told us what to expect or how to make sure our relationship stayed solid. As a couple new to law enforcement, I wish someone would have told us some basics. Amber Smith is a police spouse and counselor with a passion for educating new first responder couples.  She and I sat down and had a conversation on some of those basics that new and tenured police couples need to know.

Home - Found Therapy Services

Moral Injuries are a significant yet often unrecognized issue among first responders. Understanding what a moral injury is and recognizing its potential impact on careers and families is crucial to their overall wellness.

In this episode, Judy Couwels talks about what moral injuries are, how to recognize them, and how to combat their impact. 

The First Responder Mental Health, "The Clinician's Guide

Communication and connection are a challenge for all of us in law enforcement relationships. There are some extra special challenges when you're on call all the time or you're in situations where you just can't talk due to being in a special assignment such as undercover work or maybe the part of a SWAT team.

Heather Williams, a law enforcement professional, turned police psychologist, and SWAT spouse talks about the unique challenges of special units, their impact on relationships and strategies to communicate and connect.

Premier First Responder Psychological Services

Premier1streponder.com

[email protected].