Why your officer feels distant, irritable, or shut down — and what's really going on. Secondary traumatic stress can quietly reshape a law enforcement relationship, but you don't have to navigate it without a roadmap.

Short Episode Summary

In this episode, Cyndi talks with secondary traumatic stress expert Melissa Kaiser, LCSW to unpack how repeated exposure to trauma affects officers, spouses, and families. You'll learn: • The difference between secondary trauma, compassion fatigue, burnout, and moral injury • How trauma exposure creates emotional distance in relationships • Signs your nervous system is hitting overload or shutting down • Why hyperarousal and hypoarousal affect your connection at home • Practical daily strategies to reset, reconnect, and stay grounded as a couple

Hosted by Cyndi Doyle, licensed professional counselor supervisor, law enforcement spouse, author of Hold the Line, and founder of Code4Couples®, this channel gives first responder families the tools to stay connected, resilient, and Code 4.

📘 Protect your law enforcement relationship with Cyndi's book, Hold the Line → https://www.amazon.com/Hold-Line-Protecting-Enforcement-Relationship-ebook/dp/B08TPRTY9G#customerReviews

🎤 Bring Cyndi to your agency or event → https://code4couples.com/training/

00:00 Intro 01:00 What is secondary traumatic stress? 04:00 How trauma exposure changes worldview 07:00 The subtle signs spouses miss 10:30 Burnout vs compassion fatigue vs secondary trauma 14:00 Vicarious trauma and emotional withdrawal 18:00 When symptoms show up in the body 22:00 Numbing, avoidance, and negative coping 26:00 Discipline as a wellness strategy 32:00 Sleep, nervous system resets, and lifestyle anchors 37:00 Checking in: What am I like on a good day? On a hard day? 40:00 Mutual empathy inside a police relationship 45:00 How to start recovery and create routines 49:00 Where to find Melissa and additional resources