The Problems: little things and Erma Bombeck syndrome; relaxing with a couple meatball subs; the high line’s cyrogenic prolongation; still no luck dialing down the ping-pong; Merlin suffers a moist or missing Times; enjoying Michigan’s passing sandwiches; why marijuana sometimes makes sense; extra meat for a dollar; speculation on the genesis of bathrooms; skirting the waiting period for goats; four twenty, amirite?; adding value with Xfinity, Fahrvergnügen and/or Hospitaliano!; freeing the dragons of causality; raging boners from a black and blue sheep; an impromptu delta Skype jam; Welcome to McIntosh; the disappointing corduroy of underwater sex; rugby balls at the Double Musky; our generation’s inexorable menarche of music; California’s inexcusable Mucinex crackdown; the waitron’s worst nightmare; some tertiary problems of pre–27 greatness; remembering the rust belt’s two or three great rivers; why Mussolini dared illness in the rain; karaoke as busman’s holiday; the piano sounds like a carnival; the atavistic import of knee-to-eyebrow sauce; how an honest man devours a family lobster; stoney multitasking from the road; The Boss’s ostrich, llama, and video game estate; ZZ Top blows the Afterburner—hard; pitting “Private Eyes” against Ms. Jackson; BIG portions over at Load Jammerz; finally remastering “The Swab”; times we ’hoid the 10- and 14-bar blues; when Bill Evans repeatedly saw a man about some horse; that whole Columbia House racket; and, why John’s life, lover, and lady registers as the sea.