Code4Couples

Ep 156: Breaking Down The Armor and The Mental Health Stigma in Law Enforcement


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Cumulative trauma exposure doesn't stay at work. In this conversation, we break down what law enforcement mental health really looks like when the emotional load starts showing up at home.

In this episode, Sergeant Zachary Signs opens up about the impact of repeated trauma, emotional shutdown, and the moment he realized the strain it was putting on his relationship. We talk about how emotional armor forms, how it affects communication, and what it takes to reconnect. You'll hear practical examples of boundaries, counseling for police officers, signs of nervous system overload, and how support networks like peer teams can change the trajectory for officers and spouses.

Hosted by Cyndi Doyle, LPC-S, law enforcement spouse, author of Hold the Line, and founder of Code4Couples®, helping first responder couples stay connected, resilient, and healthy.

👉 Grab Cyndi's book "Hold the Line" — a guide for protecting your law enforcement relationship: https://www.amazon.com/Hold-Line-Protecting-Enforcement-Relationship-ebook/dp/B08TPRTY9G#customerReviews

🎤 Book Cyndi for training, workshops, or conference speaking: https://code4couples.com/training/

0:00 Welcome to Code4Couples 0:52 Why Zachary's artwork caught Cyndi's attention 2:00 Texas Law Enforcement Peer Network explained 3:15 Growing up around trauma and seeing PTSD firsthand 4:20 The cumulative trauma load from patrol work 5:05 The breaking point at home 6:00 When a partner says, "I can't help you — you need more support" 7:00 Emotional armor inside law enforcement culture 8:15 Starting counseling and what helped build trust 9:45 Talking "with" your spouse instead of "at" them 11:10 Boundaries, decompression time, and reducing conflict 13:00 Short-term memory changes with trauma 14:10 Letting your spouse be part of your support team 15:00 The meaning behind Zachary's artwork 16:00 The demons we carry, and the shelf-with-ducks analogy 18:30 Mental health as officer safety 20:10 How stress impacts physical health 21:05 Where to find Zachary's art 22:30 Final message: Call that "code two" when you need help

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Code4CouplesBy Cyndi Doyle

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