If there is one thing that Paul and Eli know how to be, it's how to be a bastard! Over the past 160-odd shows, the cheap chaps have been shouting, screaming, arguing and causing trouble for each other without any assistance or guidance. However, this week, they explore the world of "Bitches" and Bastards" by looking at two books and two board games based on the "How To Be A Complete Bastard" brand. Elsewhere this week, there is a "chunderingly" good edition of Tales of the Shop Floor and we can finally announce the debut of a brand new character, "Inch Man". We're very sorry!

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