Trigger warning:
In honor of Joshua’s life, Nicholas Fontana agreed to film with PBTR a few years ago to share his experience of losing his adopted friend Joshua to suicide. I ran into Nicholas at a mutual friends party a few weeks ago. Everything fell away as we began to speak about the effort to heal and all of the ways he has made progress. I asked Nicholas if he would be willing to be on the podcast to talk about the ideas he shared during our conversation. This led me to think about how to deal with our diverse levels of pain in a way that I have never considered before. His inspiration for self exploration came from; Gangaji, Alan Watts. Adyashanti, Eckhart Tolle and Terrence McKenna.

It is important to understand that the people who love adopted people hurt when we hurt. Adoption is not a singular event that happens to one person. Adoption loss extends out from us; it affects our relationships, our parenting and our ability to feel worthy. In reintroducing you to Nicholas and Joshua we hope you feel inspired by the courage, friendship and the bond they shared. We honor Joshua and his brave battle, we honor all of the warriors we have lost. Remember you are worthy in fact you are spectacular!

 -Joshua Samuel Kukla -
Father, friend, musician, brother, son, adoptee

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