This Whole Life

Ep18 Tearing Down Walls & Building A Connected Marriage


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"...but speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ..."
~ Ephesians 4:15


We return to Dr. John Gottman's "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" for marriages with a conversation about Stonewalling. In the course of every marriage, there are times that our emotions feel overwhelming. One response to that experience can be to shut down, disengage, and cut off communication from our spouse - this is what Gottmann calls "stonewalling," and it can be very damaging for a loving marriage.

In this episode, we take a moment to define and describe stonewalling, the ways that it negatively impacts a marriage, and (most importantly) the antidote to overcome stonewalling and to restore healthy communication into marriage. Whether you've been married for one year or 50 years, these are skills that can help you and your spouse to become "masters of marriage"!

Episode 18 Show Notes

Check out Nate Bargatze's website 😂
(Clip from Nate's special The Tennessee Kid used with permission)

Time stamps
0:00: Intro
8:10: Highs & hards
16:23: The Four Horseman part 2: Stonewalling
20:00: Stonewalling  ≠ silent treatment (with a hilarious commentary)
23:49: Defining stonewalling
33:52: Biblical examples of stonewalling
37:45: The antidote to stonewalling: physiological self-soothing
47:30: Challenge By Choice & wrap-up

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Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

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This Whole LifeBy Pat & Kenna Millea

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