"A mild answer turns back wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."
~ Proverbs 15:1

Is it possible to fight fair?
How can someone who hates conflict approach it better?
How do you turn conflict into connection? 

In this episode of This Whole Life, Pat and Kenna Millea dive deep into the heart of fighting well with the "Four Cs of Conflict." Drawing from real-life family stories, faith, and the practical tools of therapy, they lay out a step-by-step process to approach disagreements in healthier, more meaningful ways. You'll learn how to calm yourself, connect within before reaching out, recommit to the relationship—even in the heat of the moment—and finally address the real issues at hand. Whether it’s a kitchen squabble, challenges in marriage, or tough moments with friends, Pat and Kenna’s blend of humor and vulnerability offer hope and practical wisdom. Plus, they share their favorite “conflict hacks,” and recap why honest conflict can actually draw us closer. Tune in for encouragement, laughs, and a fresh approach to living faith and mental health in everyday difficulties.

Episode 80 Show Notes

Chapters:

0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
13:48: Practical approach to conflict
18:00: Is comfort with conflict built in or learned?
21:30: C #1: Calm
26:33: C #2: Connect
30:14: C #3: (re)Commit
37:58: C #4: Content
45:47: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. What is your usual approach to conflict? How does it serve you well, and how does it challenge your relationships?
3. Have you experienced moments of conflict bringing your closer to someone? What made the difference?
4. Which of the 4 C's stands out to you? Which C is something you need to work on?
5. What phrase will you use to recommit to moments of conflict in a way that communicates your desire for connection?

Send us a text. We're excited to hear what's on your mind!

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

“For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you received a spirit of adoption, through which we cry, ‘Abba, Father!’”
~ Romans 8:15

Why are so many fathers struggling?
Is it possible for fathers to live peaceful lives today?
How can a man change the world through his identity as a father?

In episode 79 of This Whole Life, Pat Millea sits down with Devin Schadt, founder and executive director of the Fathers of St. Joseph, to dive deep into the challenges and opportunities of Catholic fatherhood. Devin shares his personal journey, including a life-changing experience after his daughter’s health crisis that propelled him to embrace his vocation as a husband and father. The conversation covers topics such as the crisis of fatherhood, overcoming shame, the loneliness men often face, and the power of transformative relationships. Pat and Devin discuss the profound influence fathers have on families, the unique spirituality of St. Joseph, and practical steps men can take to become trustworthy fathers by first becoming trusting sons of God the Father. Fathers - and the people who love them - will walk away with inspiration, practical advice, and a renewed vision for integrating faith, mental health, and the incredible gift of fatherhood.

Devin Schadt is the executive director of the Fathers of St. Joseph, an apostolate that labors for the restoration, redemption, and revitalization of fatherhood. He is the author of over 20 books on fatherhood through the wisdom of St. Joseph, including The Rule: Counsels and Directives for Husbands and Fathers and Custos: Total Consecration Through Saint Joseph. He is a co-host of The Catholic Gentleman podcast. Devin has been married for 30 years and has five daughters, and lives in Iowa.

Episode 79 Show Notes

The Fathers of St. Joseph

Chapters:

0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
12:09: Today's fatherhood crisis & opportunity
21:10: The centrality of relationships for fathers
25:55: Why the mission of fatherhood?
35:11: St. Joseph, model of sanity & sanctity
44:21: Overcoming the cycle of shame
52:18: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. How have your experiences with your own father, or your relationship with God the Father, influenced your approach to parenthood or relationships?
3. What are the threats that face fathers today? What are the opportunities for them to impact the world for good?
4. What are some practical steps that fathers and communities can take

Send us a text. We're excited to hear what's on your mind!

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"Love should be seen as something which in a sense never ‘is’ but is always only ‘becoming’, and what it becomes depends upon the contribution of both persons and the depth of their commitment.”
~ St. John Paul II

In episode 78 of This Whole Life, hosts Kenna and Pat Millea welcome Dr. Mario Sacasa, a seasoned marriage and family therapist and host of the Always Hope podcast, for an honest and hope-filled conversation about dating well—both before and after marriage. Together, they explore the true purpose of dating, how couples can continue to date within marriage, and the vital role of curiosity, play, and intentional communication as relationships evolve. Dr. Sacasa shares real-world wisdom on navigating the current dating landscape, avoiding common pitfalls, and building healthy relational patterns that last. The hosts also get personal about the challenges and joys in their own families, offering a blend of practical advice and relatable stories. Don’t miss the candid post-show chat, where more authentic, practical insights emerge about integrating faith, mental health, and investing in love for the long haul.

Mario Sacasa, Ph.D. is a licensed marriage and family therapist and has been in practice for over 15 years. Dr. Sacasa is the host of Always Hope, a podcast providing solutions to life’s challenges that are grounded in faith and psychology. He travels the country offering lectures on dating, marriage, sexuality, and the misunderstood virtue of hope. He is the creator of two online courses: Dating Well, which helps young adults navigate the modern dating scene, and Overcoming Stress and Anxiety, which offers clear guidance for beating stress in life. Dr. Sacasa is married to his wife of 22 years, Kristin, with whom he shares the joy parenting their four sons.  

Episode 78 Show Notes

Chapters:

0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
15:57: What's the point of dating?
27:10: The common mistakes of dating
40:04: Mentally healthy dating
50:32: Warning signs for departing from dating
59:15: Challenge By Choice
1:05:42: The after-show!

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. What has your experience been with dating? What are the blessings and challenges you've known?
3. How is dating different today than it was 20 years ago? What are the specific hardships and opportunities right now?
4. What makes dating difficult after a couple is married? How can they overcome those difficulties?
5. What do you need to focus on in your dating life right now? What changes will you make?

Send us a text. We're excited to hear what's on your mind!

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

“This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
~ John 13:35

Am I really "pro-life"?
How does loving others impact my mental & spiritual health?
How am I supposed to treat the people who are hard to love?

In Episode 77 of This Whole Life, Pat Millea welcomes Fr. Nathan LaLiberte for a powerful conversation about living out the pro-life message in our daily interactions and relationships. Together, they go beyond the usual political rhetoric, exploring how being truly pro-life means acknowledging the dignity of every person—from the unborn and marginalized to the neighbor or cashier we encounter each day. Drawing on scripture, personal stories, and concepts from psychology, they discuss the challenges of loving those we might find difficult and the importance of moving past disgust and division. You'll hear thought-provoking reflections on boundaries, cancel culture, authentic Christian love, and the everyday choices that build a culture of life. Join this heartfelt and inspiring call for radical, incarnational pro-life living.

Episode 77 Show Notes

Chapters:

0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
8:55: The sanity of being fully pro-life
15:40: The anti-humanity of cancel culture
22:03: Being pro-life, not "pro-birth"
31:45: Refusing to turn away from a person
38:08: The temptations to villainize people & groups
45:05: Meditation on others' dignity & human solidarity
55:49: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. Father Nathan discusses the tendency to see “pro-life” purely through the lens of abortion. In what ways can a pro-life ethic broaden to include other aspects of human dignity and social justice?
3. What are practical ways, big or small, that you can affirm someone’s dignity on a daily basis, even if you don’t agree with them or find it inconvenient?
4. How do you navigate loving and maintaining relationships with people who hold vastly different beliefs or values than you?
5. The episode often returns to the idea that being fully pro-life requires acting with intentional love. What does that look like for you, especially in small, everyday encounters?

Send us a text. We're excited to hear what's on your mind!

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

“See, I am sending you out like sheep into the midst of wolves; so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves."
~ Matthew 10:16

Is there any way to make parenting less stressful?
What can I do to make our life less chaotic?
How can our family be a little more sane & connected?

Let's face it - parenting in the 21st century is not for the faint of heart. In episode 76 of This Whole Life, Kenna and Pat dive into their top 10 parenting hacks, offering real-life tips for bringing sanity and sanctity to family life. From the “Team Millea" mentality that fosters solidarity to practical routines like weekly family meetings and consistent chore delegation, Kenna and Pat share what actually works for their family of nine. They also discuss navigating finances, the art of doing tomorrow’s prep today, embracing their village, and the power of letting go of comparison. Whether you have one child or many, this episode is packed with hope, encouragement, and actionable tools to help you parent with intention in today’s chaotic world.

Episode 76 Show Notes

Chapters:

0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
7:56: Parenting hacks & why we don't identify our kids
10:49: Hack #1: The "Team Millea" Mentality
14:44: Hack #2: Weekly Family Meetings
18:39: Hack #3: Chores for Everyone!
24:48: Hack #4: One-on-One Time
28:55: Hack #5: Do your "tomorrow self" a favor today
32:53: Hack #6: It takes a village
34:57: Hack #7: Get clever about finances
41:08: Hack #8: Being shrewd about food
44:10: Hack #9: Double (or triple/quadruple) dip on activites
46:16: Hack #10: If it doesn't work for you, *Let it go!*
49:27: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. What are the things that cause stress, chaos, disagreements, and anxiety in your family?
3. What is one of these "hacks"/suggestions that might help your family function with more joy and peace?
4. What is your vision for parenting & family life?
5. How are your day to day efforts moving toward that vision? How are they moving you away from that vision?

Send us a text. We're excited to hear what's on your mind!

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"Do you not know that the runners in the stadium all run in the race, but only one wins the prize? Run so as to win."
~ 1 Corinthians 9:24

Are youth sports helping or hurting our kids?
Can sports be a healthy way of honoring God?
How can my children and I stay grounded in the midst of their sports?

In Episode 75 of This Whole Life, hosts Pat and Kenna sit down with Super Bowl champion Matt Birk for a lively, honest, and heartfelt conversation about the realities of youth sports today. From hilarious football stories to hard-fought lessons on resilience and parenting, Matt shares his journey as both an elite athlete and a dad navigating the pressures of today’s competitive youth sports culture. Together, they explore the joys and challenges of childhood athletics, the growing professionalization of youth sports, and the importance of keeping play fun and rooted in faith. Whether you’re a parent on the sidelines, a coach, or just a fan of sports and good conversations, this episode is full of wisdom, practical advice, and perspective on how sports can help shape not just athletes, but healthy, resilient human beings—mind, body, and soul.

Matt Birk is a CEO, a fifteen year NFL veteran, and a Super Bowl champion. He played college football at Harvard and graduated with a degree in economics before going on to be drafted by the Minnesota Vikings in 1998. He played for the Vikings for eleven years and then for the Baltimore Ravens for four years, where he won Super Bowl XLVII. Matt was named the NFL's Walter Payton Man of the Year in 2011 for his accomplishments on and off the field. Since retiring from the NFL in 2013, Matt has been a vocal pro life advocate, he has cofounded a Catholic high school, and authored a book called All Pro Wisdom. He and his wife have eight children.

Episode 75 Show Notes

Find out more about Matt Birk's work and speaking

Chapters:

0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
11:45: True stories from an NFL veteran
18:57: The mental challenge of sports
28:22: Faith, sports psychology, and resilience
36:30: The current state of youth sports
45:06: The harms of professionalization and specialization
53:18: Best practices for sports parents
1:05:04: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. What have your experiences with sports been?
3. What are the benefits of youth sports? What are the dangers?
4. Why is it so tempting for parents to attach their identity to kids' sports?

Send us a text. We're excited to hear what's on your mind!

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone."
~ Matthew 18:15

Why do I get caught in the middle of arguments in my family?
Why is it so tempting to bring someone else into a tense situation?
How do I break the cycle of being brought into triangles among my family & friends?

In Episode 74 of This Whole Life, Kenna Millea welcomes Ben Baker, LMFT and Addy Diaz for a lively Relationship Roundtable all about “triangulation”—that sneaky dynamic that can pop up in families, friendships, and work relationships alike. The team breaks down what triangulation actually is (spoiler: it’s more common—and human—than you think), how to spot it in real life, and why we’re all tempted to avoid tension by pulling in a third person, habit, or even technology. With honest stories, practical metaphors (think wobbly tables and silent dinners), and plenty of humor, they explore how triangles can sometimes stabilize a relationship—but also block the deeper connection we’re really seeking. Tune in for relatable insights, gentle challenges, and actionable tips on how to recognize, understand, and break out of unhealthy triangles for healthier, more authentic relationships.

Episode 74 Show Notes

Chapters:

0:00: Introduction and becoming a therapist
8:32: What is triangulation?
19:48: Triangles are stabilizing - even harmful ones
26:23: How do we recognize triangulation?
33:21: What causes triangles?
44:47: How do I get out of a triangle?
52:55: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. When have you been brought into a triangle? When have you triangulated someone or something else?
3. How does it feel when you've been dragged into a triangle? Why does it feel that way?
4. Why are triangles so stabilizing? When are they healthy and unhealthy?
5. When are you most tempted to triangulate others? How can you get out of triangles when they happen?

Send us a text. We're excited to hear what's on your mind!

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

Jesus said to him, “What if I want him to remain until I come? What concern is it of yours? You follow me.”
~ John 21:22

Why do I get so angry at others' opinions & actions?
How am I supposed to handle the evil & falsehood in the world?
Why is it easier for me to explain what I'm against than what I'm for?

In episode 73 of This Whole Life, hosts Kenna and Pat Millea welcome back Fr. Nathan LaLiberte for a candid conversation about identity, vulnerability, and the subtle trap of living in antithesis—defining ourselves primarily by what we’re against. Together, they explore how easy it is to move through life reacting to what we don’t like or want, rather than proactively following Christ’s invitation to an authentic identity rooted in his love. With honesty and a good dose of humor, the trio reflects on the pitfalls of fear-based living, the grace of following Christ, and the challenge of forging deeper relationships built on shared pursuits rather than shared enemies. From the temptations of social media outrage and cable news to the deeper work of self-reflection and forgiveness, this episode invites listeners to consider what truly forms their identity—and how to embrace a more Christ-centered, joyful life.

Episode 73 Show Notes

Chapters:

0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
16:24: Don't be an antithesis
26:34: The temptations & evils of resentment
33:07: Recognizing antithesis in my own life
42:32: Where am I putting my energy?
51:53: The personal invitation to follow Jesus
54:19: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. Is it easier for you to be against things or for Christ?
3. How do media, especially social media, affect your opinions and reactions to others?
4. When have you vowed to "never" be like someone or do something? How did that impact the way that you approached daily life?
5. How can you take practical steps to living for Christ and allowing him to guide your responses to the sins & shortcomings of the world?

Send us a text. We're excited to hear what's on your mind!

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
~ 1 Corinthians 13:7

Why do I get so hurt by others' actions?
Why is it so hard for me to let things slide?
How can I give people close to me the benefit of the doubt?

In episode 72 of This Whole Life, Kenna and Pat dive into the concept of Positive Sentiment Override, a game-changing mindset for building stronger, more joyful relationships. Kicking things off with some spirited candy rankings for the Easter season, the duo opens with laughter before turning to the more serious - but deeply practical - work of cultivating a positive lens in daily interactions with loved ones. Together, they break down Dr. John Gottman’s research on how seeing the best in others impacts not only our relationships but our own mental health. Together, they share real-life scenarios of how our internal narratives can shape the atmosphere in our homes, grounded in both faith and psychology. Whether you’re looking for ways to make your domestic church into a greater sanctuary or wanting to shake off negativity in your marriage, family, or friendships, this episode is packed with relatable stories, actionable takeaways, and faith-filled encouragement.

Episode 72 Show Notes

Chapters:

0:00: Introduction, Candy Rankings, and Highs & Hards
18:09: What is Positive Sentiment Override?
27:40: What if they're truly doing something wrong?
32:28: How do I know I'm in Negative Sentiment Override?
43:39: Practical situations
50:56: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. When have you enjoyed positive sentiment override with others? When have you been stuck in negative sentiment override?
3. How do you know when you're in a negative space with a loved one? What are the signs?
4. How do you break out of negative sentiment override and think more positively of your loved ones?
5. Why is it so hard to give the people closest to us the benefit of the doubt? What can you do to extend that grace to them?

Send us a text. We're excited to hear what's on your mind!

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"...we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us."
~ Romans 5:3-5

How are Christians supposed to respond to suffering?
How do I know if I'm suffering well?
How do I know whether I should avoid or accept a specific kind of suffering?

In episode 71 of This Whole Life, hosts Kenna and Pat Millea are joined by their good friend, Fr. Nathan LaLiberte, to delve into the complex topic of suffering from both a faith-based and psychological perspective. They explore the idea that suffering is not just to be avoided but can be a path to personal growth, connection with God, and redemption. Fr. Nathan shares insights from his experience and studies, highlighting how pain can signal areas for growth and conversion. The conversation is grounded on the Christian ethos of finding purpose in suffering, and includes sound psychological principles like those of Alfred Adler and Viktor Frankl. They also discuss the Fruits of the Holy Spirit and the virtue of prudence as essential tools in discernment, helping listeners navigate when to accept suffering and when to seek change. Join them for a thought-provoking exploration of suffering in the pursuit of sanity and sanctity.

Episode 71 Show Notes

Chapters:

0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
13:42: The meaning of suffering
21:24: What kind of a God allows suffering?
25:38: There is no growth or change without pain
35:16: Do I accept this suffering or ask for help?
45:07: The example of Chiara Corbella Petrillo
50:37: Challenge By Choice

Reflections Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. When have you experienced suffering in your life? What was that like for you?
3. Has your suffering helped you to know Jesus better or has it challenged your faith?
4. How has hardship helped you to grow, become stronger, and experience conversion?
5. How do you discern whether to accept suffering in faith or to seek out resources to diminish the suffering?

Send us a text. We're excited to hear what's on your mind!

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.