This Whole Life

“Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections, but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew.”
~ St. Francis de Sales

Why are my habits so hard to change?
Why do I keep doing the things I don't want to do?
How do I build a new habit and get rid of others?

In Episode 60, Kenna and Pat Millea take a deep dive into the psychology and spirituality of habit formation. They unpack the common struggles that we face when trying to build or break habits and encourage a self-compassionate approach that motivates us toward real change. Drawing insights from sources like Thomas Aquinas and James Clear's Atomic Habits, they explore how habits can align with spiritual goals and lead to a Christ-centered life. Whether you're hoping to be free from habitual sin or to create a workout routine, this episode offers practical tips for habit formation, paying attention to cues, cravings, responses, and rewards. Join us for a clearer way toward self-discipline and holiness!

We're happy to share this episode of This Whole Life with the SEEK Podcast Network.

Episode 60 Show Notes

Learn more about SEEK 2025: Follow Me

Chapters:
0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
9:21: Why habits matter
18:33: The four stages of a habit
29:05: Analyzing my cues & the way habits compound
41:21: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. How can habit formation be a tool to enrich your spiritual life, and not just as an exercise in self-improvement? 
3. What are one or two bad habits that you want to break?
4. What are one or two good habits that you want to create? 
5. How might you invite the Lord into the work of building good habits? What natural steps can you take through your own will & efforts?

Send us a text. We're excited to hear what's on your mind!

Thank you for listening! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me has not been in vain."
~ 1 Corinthians 15:10

Why do I react the way that I do?
How much of my personality can I change?
How does my temperament impact my relationships, my work, and my faith?

Join Kenna and Pat as they dive into the fascinating world of temperaments with Art and Laraine Bennett, renowned authors of "The Temperament God Gave You." In this enriching episode, discover how understanding temperaments can lead to personal and spiritual growth, enhancing relationships and helping us to be more like Christ. The Bennetts explore the strengths and challenges of each temperament — choleric, sanguine, melancholic, and phlegmatic — and offer practical tools for navigating personal and interpersonal dynamics. Listen in as they discuss the importance of self-awareness, the power of community, and how temperaments can promote freedom and growth in holiness and virtue. This is a fantastic conversation that you don't want to miss.

Art Bennett has a B.A. in philosophy and an M.A. in counseling psychology from Santa Clara University. He has co-authored three books on temperament and 6 books with Laraine and is a licensed (California and Virginia) Marriage and Family Therapist with more than 35 years of clinical experience. Laraine Bennett has a B.A. in philosophy from Santa Clara University and an M.A. in philosophy from the University of California, Santa Barbara. She created the game, Know Thyself! The Game of Temperaments (Sophia Institute Press, 2022) and has written two solo books. Art and Laraine are frequent speakers on marriage and family issues, both nationally and internationally. They have four adult children and eleven grandchildren.

Episode 59 Show Notes

Discover your temperament!

Chapters:
0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
12:41: Uncovering & sharing the temperaments
18:25: Temperaments: the science of reactions
28:42: What are the four temperaments?
41:17: What's the point of understanding the temperaments?
51:17: Can my temperament change over time?
1:03:36: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. What is your temperament? How does your temperament affect your reactions?
3. How might knowing your temperament help you grow in holiness & virtue?
4. What do you understand about the temperaments of your spouse, children, and loved ones? How does that help your relationships?
5. What is one weakness of your temperament that you feel compelled to address?

Send us a text. We're excited to hear what's on your mind!

Thank you for listening! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

“Return home and recount what God has done for you.”
~ Luke 8:39

Where has the Lord been most clearly present in the story of your life?
Is my story really worth telling?
What good would it do to share my story with someone else?
 
In this heartfelt and enriching episode of "This Whole Life," hosts Kenna and Pat Millea engage in a profound conversation with Fr. Angelus Montgomery, the vocations director for the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal. In the framework of "telling your story," they delve into themes of personal brokenness, healing, and the unique callings that reveal aspects of Jesus. Fr. Angelus shares his "second conversion" and the transformation it sparked, and he highlights the role of vulnerability, storytelling, and the Christian call to love others as Jesus did. Together, they explore how great storytelling in literature mirrors The Story, the beauty of being chosen by God, and the significance of stepping back to see life's bigger picture. Join them for a heartening dialogue - your story is worth it.

Fr. Angelus Montgomery, CFR, a Nebraska native, is a priest with the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal, currently serving as the community’s Vocation Director at Joseph Friary in Harlem, New York. Along with his duties in helping young men in their discernment, he is involved with the Community’s outreach to the poor and vulnerable, and also is co-host of the Poco a Poco Podcast, produced by the CFR’s. Fr. Angelus’s heart is filled with gratitude to God for the gift of being a Franciscan priest and spiritual Father.

Episode 58 Show Notes

Chapters:
0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
11:33: Getting into story telling & story work
22:11: Walking with others & Father's second conversion
34:51: Finding healing through telling my story
41:46: The power of saying it out loud
57:19: Challenge By Choice

Questions for Reflection & Discussion:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. When have you shared your story with someone else? How did they receive it?
3. How has telling your story helped you receive healing and the love of God?
4. What is difficult about telling your story? What is difficult about receiving the story of someone else?
5. What is your reaction to the statement that we don't have to "fix" poverty, homelessness, etc.; we just have the love the person in front of us?

Send us a text. We're excited to hear what's on your mind!

Thank you for listening! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

“Come see a man who told me everything I have done. Could he possibly be the Messiah?”
~ John 4:29

Is there a place in the Church for people with an LGBT+ experience?
Does God have a joyful plan for people living with same-sex attraction?
How can Christians love all people and uphold the teachings of the Church? 

Pat Millea engages in a profound conversation with Shannon Ochoa, co-founder of Eden Invitation, and recurring guest Fr. Nathan LaLiberte. The episode explores the intricate intersection of faith, sexuality, and mental health, focusing on how to nurture whole-person formation for LGBT+ individuals within the Catholic Church. Shannon shares her personal journey of reconciling her faith with her attractions and the challenges faced along the way, highlighting the importance of God's grace, community, and unconditional love. Join us for insightful reflections on Jesus' mercy, the heart of true discipleship, and practical ways to support celibate individuals and foster a sense of belonging and dignity for all. We invite you into this deeply relevant and heartfelt conversation.

Shannon Ochoa is the co-founder & vice president of Eden Invitation, where she directs programs, nurtures relationships, and develops community. Shannon graduated from the University of Wisconsin-Madison with degrees in Social Welfare and Gender & Women's Studies.  She has fallen for men and for women, but ultimately she fell for the beauty of Christ and His Church. Prior to founding Eden Invitation, Shannon worked in college campus ministry with The Evangelical Catholic and Brew City Catholic. If you're looking for her, try the shore of the nearest body of water. She’ll be in a hammock.

Episode 57 Show Notes

Learn more about Eden Invitation

Chapters:
0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
10:54: Shannon Ochoa's journey of faith & self-knowledge
18:05: Bringing together faith & the LGBT+ experience
31:33: Tying up heavy burdens & the woman at the well
40:22: The work of Eden Invitation
48:02: Practical wisdom for a LGBT+ person or a loved one
57:58: Challenge By Choice

Questions for Reflection & Discussion:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. What experiences do you have with an LGBT+ experience or persons?
3. What feelings surfaced in you during this conversation? What are those feelings telling you?
4. How have you seen the Church and Christians respond well to LGBT+ persons? How have you feel Christians fail in their response?
5. How can you better carry the burdens of others? How can you invite others to help carry your burdens?

Send us a text. We're excited to hear what's on your mind!

Thank you for listening! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"But woe to the solitary person! If that one should fall, there is no other to help."
~ Ecclesiastes 4:10

How do I know if I need therapy or spiritual direction?
Why doesn't my pastor offer more counsel in confession?
Do I need to talk to a priest or a therapist - or both?

In episode 56, Kenna welcomes Fr. Nathan LaLiberte to delve into the nuanced interplay between confession, therapy, and spiritual direction. Together, they distinguish between these different, but sometimes overlapping, practices of spiritual & mental healing. Fr. Nathan shares his experience as a confessor and spiritual director, and now in school for counseling as well. Listeners are invited to evaluate how they seek spiritual and emotional guidance for the sake of their wholeness. Join us for an honest and clarifying conversation that's sure to help you know where to turn for support!

Episode 56 Show Notes

Chapters:
0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
21:54: Defining Therapy, Confession, & Spiritual Direction
28:48: From confession to spiritual direction
37:17: Parish life as primary spiritual direction
44:41: Directing change & the various styles of spiritual direction
53:25: Challenge By Choice

Questions for Reflection & Discussion:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. What experiences have you had with confession, spiritual direction, and/or therapy?
3. How do you understand the differences between therapy and spiritual direction?
4. When have you had a powerful experience of healing? Was it in confession, therapy, spiritual direction, or somewhere else?
5. Which of these types of healing would you benefit most from right now?

Send us a text. We're excited to hear what's on your mind!

Thank you for listening! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed."
~ John 8:36

Is there hope for people who are stuck in addiction?
Is healing really possible for everyone?
If God really knows what I've done, how could he forgive me?

In episode 55 of "This Whole Life," Pat engages in a profound conversation with guest Scott Weeman, founder of Catholic In Recovery. Scott shares his personal journey through addiction and finding a path to recovery through faith and humility. He reveals the connection he identified between the 12 Step recovery process and the sacraments, shedding light on the universal spiritual truths embedded within them.

The dialogue delves into the significance of building a supportive community, reclaiming a sense of purpose, and finding hope amidst difficulty. Scott's insightful reflections and practical advice offer a beacon of encouragement to those navigating the complexities of addiction and seeking hope when things seem darkest. Join Pat and Scott on this transformative journey towards humility, recovery, and wholeness.

Scott Weeman is the founder of Catholic In Recovery and the author of The Twelve Steps and the Sacraments: A Catholic Journey through Recovery. Scott was born and raised in northeast Wisconsin, and after high school he attended college in New York City and his experience around drugs and alcohol started to spin out of control. After a series of unconventional events, he found himself seeking the mercy of the Lord through the Catholic community in San Diego. Scott supports others in their recovery by writing on a variety of Catholic and twelve-step topics, speaking at events, and developing one-on-one relationships with those seeking help. He enjoys a wide range of recreational activities including sports, cooking, hiking, reading, traveling, and relaxing over a pot of hot tea. Scott lives with his wife and children in Nashville, Tennessee.

Episode 55 Show Notes

Chapters:
0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
10:13: Scott's story of addiction & recovery
21:57: Christianity & the 12 Steps
31:57: Facing & overcoming shame
41:51: The virtue of humility (and humiliation) in recovery
50:51: Finding joy & handling social situations in recovery
56:16: Challenge By Choice

Questions for Reflection & Discussion:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. What experiences do you have in common with Scott's journey of addiction and recovery?
3. In what ways do you, and those closest to you, struggle with freedom from addiction and compulsions?
4. What is one substance or behavior that you feel challenged to give up for 3 weeks in order to gain greater freedom?

Send us a text. We're excited to hear what's on your mind!

Thank you for listening! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens."
~ Ecclesiastes 3:1

Change is hard. Yet, it's something that every person experiences on a daily basis. How can something so universal be so difficult for us?

In this episode of This Whole Life, Pat and Kenna dive into the challenges surrounding life changes and transitions. So many clients bring their questions and struggles to them when they're facing changes, and the hosts take time to reflect on the ways they have handled changes well and poorly in their lives. They stress the value of seeking support and connection during times of change, emphasizing the need to communicate openly with loved ones. Through thought-provoking conversation and practical advice, this episode provides valuable guidance on handling life's transitions with grace and resilience.

Episode 54 Show Notes

Chapters:
00:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
14:24: Highs & Hards
19:42: Coping with change in a mentally healthy way
26:00: Real life transitions that we handled well & poorly
31:43: How to approach change in a healthy way
43:53: Why change is so hard
52:16: Challenge By Choice

Questions for Reflection & Discussion:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. What changes have you handled poorly in your life? What changes have you handled well?
3. How easily do you tolerate change?
4. What helps you to manage change in a healthy way?
5. What tips from this episode might help you manage transitions better in the future?

Send us a text. We're excited to hear what's on your mind!

Thank you for listening! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"There is a God close to us who calls us by name and says: 'Rise, cease your tears, because I have come to free you!'"
~ Pope Francis

Pornography, masturbation, sexual sin, and sexual addiction are not only problems for men.

In Episode 53, Kenna and guest Rachael Killackey confront the sensitive yet crucial topic of sexual sin and addiction among women through the lens of faith and mental health. The discussion addresses the complexities of female sexuality, the impact of "purity culture", and the essential role of women sharing and understanding each other's stories. The episode offers insights into the relational nature of women's hearts, the importance of parenting with both moral formation and humble openness, and the necessity of holistic faith-filled sexual education for children. Rachael also joyfully shares her journey of founding Magdala Ministries, the first of its kind in the Catholic Church, to support women struggling with sexual addiction.

This beautiful episode offers a step toward hope and healing for women burdened by sexual sin, and clarity for those who want to better love & support the women in their lives. Join the conversation and take the next step toward freedom and wholeness!

Rachael Killackey is the founder & executive director of Magdala Ministries and a Colorado native (depending on your definition of native). She earned her bachelors and masters degrees in Theology from Ave Maria University, and since first sharing her testimony in college, Rachael has had the privilege of hearing dozens of beautiful stories of healing from sexual addiction, and is pursuing certification in sexual addiction therapy. Rachael married her husband, Tommy, in 2021. They now live in Tampa, FL, with their daughter, where they enjoy the beach (almost) as much as they enjoy the mountains. Her book, Love in Recovery, is available through Ave Maria Press.

Episode 53 Show Notes

Chapters:
0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
12:30: The origins of Magdala Ministries & Rachael's healing journey
20:10: Moving from addiction to openness & healing
27:49: Gender differences & purity culture
40:10: How can we help our daughters & granddaughters grow up in the age of pornography?
48:22: Challenge By Choice

Questions for Reflection & Discussion:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. Do you think woman have been excluded from discussions around sexual sin? Why or why not?
3. What impact have you seen "purity culture" have on Catholic approaches to sex?
4. How can parents help prepare their children to confront pornography in a healthy and resilient way?
5. What kind of freedom has the Lord offered you in the face of sin?

Send us a text. We're excited to hear what's on your mind!

Thank you for listening! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"In your journey as a family, you share so many beautiful moments: meals, rest, housework, leisure, prayer, trips and pilgrimages, and times of mutual support…"
~ Pope Francis, Letter to Families, February 2014

Do you feel like you need a vacation to recover from your vacation?
Have you spent time and money on trips that leave you feeling disappointed & frustrated?
Do you have nightmares of children shouting "Are we there yet?" and arguments with relatives?

Family trips and vacations are sources of such deep joy and fulfillment, but they can also bring so much stress, anxiety, and conflict. What strategies & approaches would help you get the most out of trips with family and friends? On the heels of a cross country road trip with their 7 children to spend a week with extended family, Pat & Kenna share some practical ways to make family trips more fruitful and peaceful. From communication about expectations and hopes to embracing healthy boundaries and car entertainment, we welcome you into this relevant and practical conversation. Listen in and share your own traveling tips & tricks with us!

Episode 52 Show Notes

Chapters:
0:00: Intro & This or That?: Movie edition
16:48: Highs & Hards
24:08: The joys & stresses of family trips
28:10: Communicating hopes & fears before the trip
35:51: Expectations & Boundaries on a trip
46:20: Final practical tips for trips
55:42: Challenge By Choice

Questions for Reflection & Discussion:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. What memories do you have of trips you took growing up? What parts of those memories are joyful or painful?
3. What do you appreciate about trips as an adult? What makes trips with family or friends stressful or difficult to manage?
4. Why do you take trips? What values of yours are attached to trips with loved ones?
5. How can communication about expectations and boundaries help create a more joyful trip?
6. What tips & strategies have made your family trips more joyful?

Send us a text. We're excited to hear what's on your mind!

Thank you for listening! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"I no longer call you slaves, because a slave does not know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have told you everything I have heard from my Father."
~ John 15:15

Friendship is one of the highest experiences of human life, but it can also be the source of some of our greatest pains and struggles. Why do we desire deep and abiding friendship? Are all friendships the same? What does the Lord desire in our friendships, and which friends are best for us?

In episode 51 of This Whole Life, Pat is again joined by guest Fr. Luke Marquard to delve into the complex and profound topic of holy friendships. They explore the various levels of friendship, the importance of deep connections, and the role of faith in nurturing meaningful relationships. Drawing from personal experiences and insightful reflections, they highlight the beauty of seeing others as gifts and the pursuit of heavenly glory within friendships. Fr. Luke shares valuable insights on the influence of virtue, intentionally seeking of like-minded individuals while allowing ourselves to be challenged and stretched by our friends. With heartfelt discussions on the challenges of loneliness, manipulation in relationships, and the importance of incorporating Christ as the center of it all, this episode offers invaluable guidance for listeners seeking to deepen their connections and appreciate the gift of true friendships.

Fr. Luke Marquard is pastor of St. Joseph Catholic Church in West St. Paul, Minnesota.

Episode 51 Show Notes

Chapters:
0:00: Intro, Over/Under and Highs & Hards
16:19: Focus on Friendship
22:57: The Three Levels of Friendship
33:40: What does bad friendship look like?
40:06: The parish as a source of friendship
46:21: When it's hard to make good friends
58:19: Challenge By Choice

Questions for Reflection & Discussion:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. Who are your best friends? What makes them so valuable to you?
3. Can you identify people in your life at all three levels of friendship? What feelings or reflections do you have about the people at those levels?
4. How might healthy recreation and solitude lead to better and deeper friendships?
5. What is the Christian vision of friendship, and how is it distinct from a more worldly version of friendship?
6. When has someone been a true friend to you, and how did it impact your life?

Send us a text. We're excited to hear what's on your mind!

Thank you for listening! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.