"Love should be seen as something which in a sense never ‘is’ but is always only ‘becoming’, and what it becomes depends up on the contribution of both persons and the depth of their commitment.”
~ Karol Wojtyła

Why doesn't arousal come as easily as we expected?
How do we make opportunities for intimacy when life is so busy?
How can I have honest conversations with my spouse about arousal and our sex life?

In Episode 83 of This Whole Life, Pat & Kenna are joined by guest Trisha McKeever, LMFT for Part 2 of the "Holy Sex" series, focusing on arousal within marriage. With honesty, humor, and vulnerability, they explore the real-life intricacies of intimacy, including the challenges of noticing, naming, and cultivating arousal amidst the busyness of family life. The conversation breaks down common myths around arousal, embracing the idea that self-awareness and willingness play key roles in developing a healthy sexual relationship. Drawing from clinical practice and Christian principles, they discuss practical steps couples can take to recognize and communicate their needs, address internal and external “blocks,” and honor each other’s differences — whether you’re a “rocket” or an “airplane.” Tune in for relatable stories, expert insights, and actionable advice that will encourage couples to integrate faith, emotional awareness, and authentic connection in the bedroom and beyond.

Trisha McKeever is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Minnesota and has been in private practice for 10 years. She is passionate about incorporating her own Christian beliefs and her perspective as a believer into the healing work that she does with her clients. Trisha also brings the wisdom of 19 years of marriage, and she is the mother of three children.

Episode 83 Show Notes

Chapters:

0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
15:01: What does arousal really mean?
24:37: Choosing arousal & openness
30:33: When the brakes get engaged
37:51: Communicating about arousal with my spouse
46:32: Gender differences in arousal & readiness
56:00: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. How do you define “arousal” in the context of your own marriage or relationship?
3. What are some “blocks” or “brakes” that you have experienced in your sexual relationship? How might you begin to address them?
4. Can you think of a time when a small “yes” led to greater intimacy or connection?

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Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.