I didn't plan for, nor expect the flood of tears that came over me, and in between my sobs, I realized it took a pandemic for me to feel the raw emotions of our country's intensified racism. It took a pandemic for me to weep in a new way for all the people of color who have been terrorized by police brutality and white supremacy. It took a pandemic for me to feel simultaneously outraged and helpless at the violent hatred Trump has unleashed, while feeling inspired and deeply grateful for the tireless work of Shaun King and Lee Merritt. It took a pandemic for me to know that my tsunami of tears needed to be released, my unspeakable sadness and rage needed to be felt. I was grateful that my family held space for me, my tears, my overwhelm. There was nothing to apologize for, simply the courage to be present to the rawness, be present to the anguish, be present to the longing to be engaged in a meaningful, healing way. And my tears keep flowing: Ahmaud Arbery Breonna Taylor George Floyd and countless others I don't yet know by name. I am disgusted, heartbroken, enraged and searching for ways to feel the fullness of these raw emotions, while wanting to respond in a constructive, spiritually grounded way. I understand the overwhelm, I understand the despair, I understand the eruption of outrage, I understand the induction into violence, and yet, I trust that we as individuals and a country will be changed. I need to look within. White people need to look within, take a moral inventory, speak out, take a stand, hold other white people accountable! We must take responsibility in small and large ways to help dismantle racism. We must learn from this, heal from this, transform from this. Join me in repeating over and over in your heart and mind the Ho'oponopono prayer for healing: I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. With this intention, it helps tremendously to take action. Follow Shaun King on Instagram Follow Lee Merritt on Instagram Sign petitions and call 612-324-4499 Shaun King will walk you through what to say. Instagram Links: @shaunking @leemerritesq @grassrootsLaw @keedronbryant #IJustWantToLive @vonettaetaylor @maharosenyc