Tonight’s nightmares: in the UK, gimps in rubber suits are crawling out of the shadows of parks and graveyards, because apparently Jason Voorhees needed kinkier competition. Science meanwhile introduces us to a brand-new spiky dinosaur, proving evolution has always been into BDSM. And finally, the Bermuda Triangle mystery has been “solved” — which is just science-speak for “it was never aliens, stop having fun.”

Gimps, goth dinos, and the death of wonder — it’s all downhill from here.

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