Burning Man brought both life and death this week, with one baby born and one murder committed in the desert festival chaos. Meanwhile, the long-silent Alphabet Killer has come forward claiming that the infamous “Dating Game Killer” actually stole one of his kills — proving even serial murderers get competitive about credit. And to round things out, police arrested a man caught masturbating in his seat at a Korn and System of a Down concert, making it the grossest solo performance of the night.

From desert crimes to bruised egos— this one covers it all.

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