In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca discuss the concept of deconstruction and how it relates to body size and white supremacy. They share personal stories and insights about the control and manipulation of appearance in cults and society. They explore the impact of body size on self-worth and the harmful effects of societal beauty standards. The conversation highlights the need for self-reflection and the ongoing work required to challenge and dismantle these harmful ideologies. The conversation explores various aspects of control and coercion, particularly in relation to body size, bathroom control, and workplace dynamics. It delves into the ways in which control is exerted in different contexts, such as cults, corporate America, and educational environments. The discussion also touches on the weaponization of compliments and the societal pressure to conform to certain body standards. The importance of reclaiming agency and challenging societal norms is emphasized throughout the conversation.

Links:

White Feelings Notebook

Fearing the Black Body

The Beauty Myth

Corporate Cults

Connect with Rebecca at:

Website

Patreon

TikTok

Connect with Daniella at:

Daniella's Patreon

TikTok

Instagram

Website

Youtube

Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young

• From Bookshop.org

• Autographed

• UnAMERICAN Videobook

Takeaways

Deconstruction involves tearing things apart to create new solutions and solve problems.

Body size is often used as a tool for control and manipulation in cults and society.

Societal beauty standards perpetuate harmful ideologies and negatively impact self-worth.

Challenging and dismantling white supremacy requires ongoing self-reflection and work.

Emotional labor and the control of appearance are interconnected aspects of oppressive systems. Control and coercion can manifest in various aspects of life, including body size, bathroom control, and workplace dynamics.

Societal norms and expectations around body size and appearance can be oppressive and contribute to fatphobia and body shaming.

Compliments can be used as a form of control and can perpetuate harmful beauty standards.

Reclaiming agency and challenging societal norms is essential for personal empowerment and dismantling oppressive systems.

Recognizing and questioning systems of control and coercion is crucial for creating a more equitable and inclusive society.

Sound Bites

"When you tear things apart, when you spend the time deconstructing things, you come up with ways to create new things and to solve problems."

"It's not like you have good intention and all of a sudden, boom, we are not racist anymore."

"The idea of fat became inherently a negative word... unless you believe we're all supposed to look and be the same."

"Bathroom control is another thing that we always see in coercive control."

"This woman's a cult leader."

"Kids are the new slaves that we just treat."

Chapters

00:00 Deconstructing and Creating

05:40 The Control of Appearance

13:38 Bathroom Control and Emotional Labor

20:04 The Dehumanization of Children

43:38 The Value of Physical Presence in the Workplace

46:05 The Pressure to Conform to Body Size Ideals

52:28 The Role of Compliments and Jokes in Body Control

54:32 Valuing People Beyond Their Physical Appearance