After taking a short leave, the dauntless DCOMedy crew is reporting for duty to give you our full report on the most accurate military film ever made: Cadet Kelly! Join us as we follow a classic fish out of water story, where the free-spirited Hilary Duff is dropped into a world of hard work, zero individuality, and strict rules. Too bad not a single person decided to actually tell her what those rules were, huh? That probably would have helped a lot.

Emma calls out her brother and has her heart break for Kelly. Lucas doesn’t understand gymnastics and confronts his own mortality.

Talking Points: Girl Movie Disdain, Zombies Rise Again, Terrible Parents, Unnecessary Narration, Every Fish Life Is Worth Saving, Duff in Denial, Military Porn, Kelly’s Conformity, Everybody Loves Brad, CCR’s BDE, Military Messenger Bags, Let Carla Have Something, Going Downhill, Dirty Bird Brad, Cracker Jack Court, Borrowing Spit, Hair Problems, Head Rubs, Sudden Plot Shifts, That Flavor, Dance for Me, Girl Loves a Bangle, Permission to KRUMP, The Rumsfeld Drop, No Tolerance for Nokias, We Suck at Describing Things, The Feels, Things Get Wild, Tonal Whiplash, This Was an Autobiography??

Editor’s Note: There was a strange audio hiccup towards the end of the episode that made us lose some of our usual wrap-up. Therefore you may notice a quick cut towards the end and a lack of ratings this time around. For those who actually keep track of our scores at home, which I honestly hope is none of you, Emma gave it a 7.5 and Lucas gave it a 7.