The podcast for project managers by project managers. From choosing the best strategy and establishing ground rules, to finally implementing an agreed plan, our guest Neal Whitten describes a thorough and effective approach to managing conflict.

Table of Contents

01:54 … Meet Neal 02:44 … Defining Conflict 03:42 … Indicators of Conflict 05:30 … Sources of Conflict 08:06 … Conflict Resolution Strategy – Thomas Kilmann Model 08:46 … Competing Strategy 09:10 … Collaborating Strategy 09:37 … Compromising Strategy 10:15 … Avoiding Strategy 12:40 … Accommodating Strategy 12:55 … Choosing a Strategy

14:23 … 7 Steps to Conflict Management 16:08 … Step 1: Choose the Strategy 16:17 … Step 2: Establish Ground Rules 16:48 … Step 3: Define the Conflict 18:02 … Step 4: Explore Solutions 18:17 … Step 5: Select best Solution 18:11 … Step 6: Agree to Implementation Plan 18:55 … Step 7: Implement and Verify 19:00 … Collaboration 20:09 … PM’s Role in Conflict Management 21:34 … A Benefit of Conflict 22:36 … Overcoming Emotions and Egos 25:04 … Face to Face is Best 26:53 … Instill Confidence in a Team 29:47 … Conflict Mangement with a Boss 32:11 … How to Escalate 32:59 … “I Will Not…” Post Conflict Statements 34:28 … Get in Touch with Neal 35:17 … Closing

The podcast for project managers by project managers. Conflict management

advice for the project manager on resolution strategies and how to implement a

conflict management plan.

NEAL WHITTEN: We need each other more than ever.  There’s so much data, so much information

there, you cannot be an expert on everything anymore.  We need to work and collaborate with one

another.  So that’s part of the theme

through conflict resolution.

NICK WALKER:  Welcome

to Manage This, the podcast by project managers for project managers.  This is our chance to talk as professionals

in the field of project management.  We

want to address your concerns, your needs, and to give you, not only some tips

on bettering your game, but to encourage you in it.  We feature guests who have developed their

skills and want to help you develop yours.

I’m your host, Nick Walker, and before we get to our guest, I’d just like to personally thank our listeners for the comments we’ve received about our podcasts.  This is how we know if we’re succeeding, how we know if we’re really helping you, so please continue to leave your comments on Google, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, or whichever podcast listening app you use.  You can also leave us a message on our website, Velociteach.com, or on social media, we want to hear from you.

And right now I want to hear from Bill Yates because our

guest today is somebody that you have known for a while.  And he’s going to be speaking to something

that is, well, I guess inevitable in any project manager’s line of work.

BILL YATES:  Conflict is going to happen, when you have two or more people working on something, you’re going to naturally have conflict, and I’m delighted to have Neal Whitten speak into that.  When he and I were talking several months ago about what topic should we address next for project managers, we landed on conflict management.  And I got excited about that right off the top because this is just a part of life, especially in projects.  We have conflict at home, we have it in school, we have it in every phase of life, but absolutely in the workplace.  So addressing that with Neal is going to be a great conversation.

Meet Neal

NICK WALKER:  And of course we’ve had Neal on before.  But let me reintroduce him to our listeners.  President of the Neal Whitten Group, Neal Whitten, PMP, is a course author and contributor to Velociteach InSite’s elearning courses and has also been a contributing editor of PMI’s PM Network Magazine for over 15 years.  Neal previously worked for 23 years at IBM, in both project leader and management positions. 

Neal is a popular speaker, trainer, consultant, mentor, and best-selling author in the areas of leadership and soft skills, project management, and also employee development. And Neal has just completed a new course with our InSite elearning department, the course is titled “Seven Steps to Successful Conflict Management.”  Neal, welcome once again to Manage This.

NEAL WHITTEN:  I am

honored to be here.  Thank you so much.

Defining Conflict

NICK WALKER:  All

right.  Let’s get right into it.  What all are we talking about when we talk

about conflict in the workplace?  Do we

have maybe a definition?

NEAL WHITTEN:  Well, I do have a definition, but as you would know, conflict is a natural part of the workplace environment, you cannot get away from it.  As a matter of fact, if you work around people consistently, you’re going to run into conflict, and by the end of any given week, you’re probably going to have had that conflict several times a week.

So as far as defining conflict, a definition that I use is it’s a disagreement or disharmony between individuals arising from actual or perceived differences or incompatibilities.  And I want to emphasize the “perceived” part because a lot of conflict is because we have a perception. We have our own lens that we’re looking through, and we don’t fully understand the other person’s position and what they’re going through, and consequently the conflict evolves.

Indicators of Conflict

NICK WALKER: So you know I’m sure for some people they maybe either like to maybe deny that there’s conflict going on, or sweep it under the rug, or kind of, let’s look on the bright side.  But there’s probably some indicators out there of what conflict is, and what should we be looking for?

NEAL WHITTEN: So I’d say some obvious indicators of conflict could be open hostility and lack of cooperation and people missing commitments, that sort of thing.  But there’s subtle conflict that’s everywhere, and it can manifest itself as one or more team members demonstrating a change in communication, such as body language, or tone and volume of voice, or being indifferent or low key, but deliberate sniping and gossiping. Those kinds of things mean that there’s also something going on in the back office, and that we need to get to the root of.

BILL YATES:  That’s good, Neal. So the key word of “subtle,” that really resonates with me.  There are times when you walk into a situation, and you see two people at it, I mean, they’re that close to just going physically at each other.  So you’re like, oh, I think I have conflict.  But more often, what I’ve discovered with project teams is what you describe, it is subtle, it’s a different tone of voice.  It’s a lot of times I’ll walk into a room, and there’s not an energy level there that I normally sense, there’s no laughter, there’s no chatting.  You know, there’s no side conversations going on.  And so it may be everybody’s just totally focused on work.

But sometimes, after a while, I think it becomes kind of a warning signal of, hey, wait a minute, there is some underlying conflict here. People are at odds.  They’re quiet.  They’re also kind of out of their normal behavior.  So then we need to get into it and see what is the source, what’s happened?  What did I miss, you know, that kind of thing.  So I think the subtle signs are the ones that, as I grew as a project manager, those I had to become more aware of.  So I think it’ll be interesting to see what we get into with some of these examples.

Sources of Conflict

NICK WALKER:  Is there

a common source?  I mean, does it all

stem from the same place?

BILL YATES:  Well,

Nick, that’s why you’re here in the room with us.

NICK WALKER:  Ah.

BILL YATES:  This is

an intervention.

NICK WALKER:  To

instigate the conflict.

BILL YATES:  You’re

it, dude.  Yeah, you’re the conflict guy.

NEAL WHITTEN:  I hear people often say that breakdown in communication is a major root cause, but it’s not always that. So I’ll give you some examples of causes of conflict, in my course I have over a dozen of them.  But I’ll just throw a couple out from memory here.  Limited resources.  For example, we all need access to resources, whether it’s time or funds or IT services. Maybe you just need a meeting room or help from colleagues, and when there’s too little resource to satisfy that need, conflict can arise.

BILL YATES: 

Absolutely.

NEAL WHITTEN:  Personality clashes.  We all think a bit differently, sometimes the slightest offense can fester into a more serious conflict. And another one’s unfair treatment.  So we’ve got our own perceptions of what is fair and not fair, and oftentimes without the other party having a clue that we feel like we’ve been wronged.  I’ll tell you one that I really like a cause, and that is psychological needs.  Most people have some desire for power, control, and status recognition, and these desires can also lead to conflict. 

So let me throw one more out that comes to mind, poor implementation of recognition and awards. Most of us feel that we’re not appreciated enough, and so seeing your coworkers being recognized can sometimes leave you with a feeling of being overlooked and can become a breeding ground for resentment and conflict.

And so as you can see from the few examples I’ve given, there’s a lot of causes for conflict, and there’s many more I don’t have. But one thing is certain, conflict is exceptionally pervasive in any work environment.  Even teams that are high-performing teams, there’s still going to be some conflict.  And in fact, in high-performing teams, you actually want conflict sometimes because what it does is it refines the thinking and the thinking process and helps a team to actually move forward more quickly and so forth. 

And when I think of conflict, I actually don’t think of negative, I think of something positive. I actually – so I’m not going to say I look forward to a conflict in a negative way, you know, people yelling or something like that,