Ol Magic Boy says he hasn’t cranked in a coon’s age; Jon explains to us what “Of Mice and Men” was about and we didn’t realize it had so much in common with “Old Yeller.” Also, these only fans girls doing Down syndrome filters are the sign of the apocalypse.

Shout out our Blacktress, Paris Jackson. Have you ever found yourself at a Beastie Boys’ cover show on a Saturday? Good brothers will hold your sack when you need it.

Alas, the king has kept all of the pussy for himself. Gentrification is some honky-ass bullshit. Wtf is Kundalini?

Trump signed an EO stating that all electricians are now to be referred to as “Gay Jons.” Prank calls used to be the only way to troll. Punching down is a tradition that goes back to the natives that walked this great land. Shout out America Vespussy.

Doppelgängers in Canada; All this cartel mumbo jumbo over some queso. Jack has the solution and that’s right, it’s cocaine.

We heard Leonardo DiCaprio was method during Django. Guys who have chiseled jawlines do it for the bros.

A seal pushed me down yesterday. We talk Tan Mancock and Younger Dry-Ass theories. Shia is going ham for Mardi Gras.

Wasn’t that the name of that monkey in the tutu? Also, statistically, it’s not gay you don’t bust. Ben Shapiro said it.

We here at Eskimo Bros would like to respond to the allegations brought forth as the most recent release of files has been dropped. Oh yeah, Ron HardArtest. That’s good.

Seems like everyone’s ways for pleasing are different; Every friend group has that one kid; some folks are never beating their allegations; We talk some throat training.