The ladies are coming to you live from the aftermath of a gory and slightly unexpected battle. I mean, we expected a battle. Just not this exact battle. Nestor's dark secret is exposed.

We could eat a peach muffin for hours, but unfortunately there's no time for that. At the much-anticipated baking competition, Petunia stumbled onto a disturbing revelation, and has rushed home with a very confused Violet in tow to tell you all about it.

Please excuse us, we're a little... out of sync. You might say we are twice the Ettin we once were. Violet is enjoying it, Petunia is not. We're a bit divided on the matter.

Get it? Because Violet is cross, and Petunia's training to read letters in her stead? 

Don't judge me.

How can Nestor fix the drywall on his damaged tower? After his latest scathing letter, we're not sure Violet cares. Also, Missing Monster Watch; and who says Sphinxes have to ask riddles anyway?

Lots of questions about love today. Nestor crosses a line. Also, it sure is difficult sometimes for an enhanced Ettin to have wildly different, eh, skill sets, and little alone time.

Petunia's been montage-ing Violet through rigorous baking training in anticipation of the bake-off.  Half-dad is found. Whatever. Also, some good advice about Vorpal bunnies.

Violet reads a *cough* heartfelt letter of thanks to the one who helped us out of our, er, predicament. Petunia gets back to us with those exciting statistics she promised.

Petunia blushes at a letter from Asgard. The ladies discuss the ethical implications of magically enhanced items and OH NO

A reading and analysis of the Guide to Monsters and its slanderous take on our good friend Susanna- we mean, Manticores.