Every Damn Thing

Phil and Jake further unveil the mysteries of the List of Every Damn Thing by ranking the Disney character Donald Duck-- a talking duck who drives a car, can’t swim or fly, can’t hold down a job, has a rich uncle and a girlfriend who looks just like him-- plus onions and rye bread.

SHOW NOTES:

• Here's the trailer to the 1993 movie Mad Dog and Glory, starring Robert De Niro, Uma Thurman and Bill Murray as a mob boss. 
• The Donald-verse encompasses all concepts of Donald Duck, so you have the person in the costume it at Disneyland, the angry duck in the old cartoons, the lazy corner-cutter in the Carl Barks comics, the army soldier in the World War II military cartoons... all of them.
• The University of Oregon used Donald Duck as a mascot for years as part of handshake deal that isn’t in effect anymore. Phil claimed that the Donald Duck used by U of O in the past was called Puddles, but Puddles predates the use of Donald by many years.
• Donald Duck & Uncle Scrooge Comics by Carl Barks were how Phil learned how to read when his uncle gave him some collected books. They’ve been imitated a lot, there’s stuff from Raiders of the Lost Ark that’s lifted right out of them. They’re better known in Europe than in America, sort of like an American Tintin. We can’t really recommend them since sometimes there’ll be awful racist caricatures in these comics. The animated series DuckTales which was made in the late 1980s used stories from these 1950s Carl Barks comics.
• Here's the cartoon where Daisy is going to break up with Donald. Here's the Donald propaganda cartoon and the trailer for the feature-length Good Neighbor Policy cartoon.
• Hello Kitty is not a cat.
• Here's the GIF of Donald Duck counting money.
• Another note on Jessica Rabbit: When we looked up the YouTube clip of her, there were all kinds of horny comments, but one person mentioned that when they saw the movie, the entire theater gasped when she showed up. It doesn’t seem implausible.
• Bop-Bop is a friend of Donald Duck and his nephews. He’s a dog-man. In looking him up to see if he ever showed up again, we found out that there is a whole category of characters-- Goofy being the most well-known-- called dog-faces or dog-noses. Wikipedia explains it pretty well, and TV Tropes goes into more depth.
• Our friend (and logo designer) Jason Mann was right. According to the Vidalia Onion Act of 1986, if a sweet onion doesn't come from Georgia, it's not a Vidalia.
• Tony Roma’s Onion ring loaf, hell yeah we found it!
• Oroweat dill rye is pretty good and has been sold on the west coast for many years. When Phil was a kid it was the only rye bread at the store in his rural California town. Also when Phil was a kid, his classmates in elementary school didn’t know what bagels were. This wasn’t 100 years ago either. 
• What can you remove from a Reuben sandwich and still have it be a Reuben? The rye bread is maybe the most important part.
• Sourdough bread is more versatile and mellower than rye bread.

ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:
Scrooge McDuck * Daisy Duck * Chris Gaines / Garth Brooks * Archie Bunker * Hank Williams * Darth Vader * Prince * Maui onions

Below is the List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the most up-to-date list, go here):

1. Prince (person)
2. Donald Duck (fictional character)
3. Hank Williams (person)
4. air (element)
5. onions (food)
6. intro to Back That Azz Up (music)
7. nail clippers (tool)
8. rye bread (food)
9. land (element)
10. Jessica Rabbit (fictional character)
11. crows (animal)
12. sea (element)
13. coffee (beverage)
14. national debt (idea)
15. band t-shirts (clothing)
16. lightning rounds (idea)
17. generation ships (idea)
18. sardines (food)
19. Tommy Bahama shirts (clothing)
20. blood (substance)
21. Oreos (food)
22. sports team jerseys (clothing)
23. Josta (beverage)
24. Gambit (fictional character)
25. Surge (beverage)
26. Double Stuf Oreos (food)
27. Jenny McCarthy (person)
28. Hank Williams Jr. (person)
29. QAnon (idea)

If you have something to add to the List of Every Damn Thing, submit it by email to [email protected]

The theme song for this episode is by Jade Puget.

Podcast cover art by Jason Mann.

Our website is everydamnthing.net

Phil and Jake continue their quest to assemble the List of Every Damn Thing by ranking the far-right conspiracy theory QAnon, nail clippers, and Jessica Rabbit (from Who Framed Roger Rabbit).

SHOW NOTES:

• The meditation app that Jake was using just before rolling his ankle is Headspace.
• We mention Bushwick Bill of the Geto Boys. He said a lot of things that stick with us, but the one that sticks the most is “If it don’t make dollars, it don’t make sense."
• Jake references an article from The Atlantic entitled The Prophecies of Q, in which author Adrienne LaFrance provides a great brief history, summary and analysis of the QAnon movement.
• Direct energy weapons are currently a big preoccupation, maybe because of the fires in CA? Here's a video of irrefutable proof of #dew.
• Microchip brain implants are pretty commonplace nowadays.
• #Synlight - We don’t even want to write this stuff out because it gives oxygen to the thing, but people believe the sun that we see in the sky every day is not the real sun. Read the comments here; it’s unclear how many people are joking. 
• A 2019 FBI memo identified QAnon and related conspiracy theories as a threat to national security, citing as evidence (among other things) the Springfield, Illinois and Hoover Dam stories mentioned by Jake.
• In the 1980s G.I. Joe comics, Springfield, Illinois was the headquarters of COBRA, a ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world.
• Biff from Back to the Future II was explicitly meant to be living a Trump-like life. The idea when writing the sequel was “What does a dolt like Biff think a successful life looks like?”
• Phil mentions the vegetarian food brand Loma Linda, which was formerly owned by the Seventh-Day Adventist Church but was sold in 1990 to a company that has no apparent religious affiliation.
• Jake & Phil both kind of got the Know-Nothings wrong. The Know-Nothings' name came from them meeting in secret and denying knowing anything. They’re actually more similar to the Tea Party or QAnon than we’d thought, as they were rooted in conspiracy theories about Catholic immigrants.
• Phil is banned from discussing the Ripley’s Believe It Or Not fingernail guy at home.
• Jake mentioned that Jessica Rabbit's breasts have opposite physics. Director Robert Zemeckis said “What never really works in animation is the Prince and the Princess, because you can't exaggerate humanoids because they start to look too grotesque. The Dwarves always work good, and animals always work good. So I said 'how can we make Jessica sexy and sensual and all of that and still be toon-y and not just be stiff as a cartoon character'. And Richard, or Russell - I can't remember now - came up with the idea of reversing her actual anatomic movement. So, in other words, when a normal woman's breasts would bounce down Jessica's bounced up as she took a step. And it's so subtle, but it just works like gangbusters. She moves very impossibly as far as human anatomy is concerned but it works because it's very toon-y.” It’s such a strange idea but really makes sense, they couldn’t distort the proportions any further so they just made her move in an unnatural way.
• It looks like the Los Angeles freeway construction conspiracy that inspired Who Framed Roger Rabbit was more of a failure of public policy than a coordinated campaign to sabotage streetcars. The water wars that inspired Chinatown were a real thing.
• Tex Avery's Red Hot Riding Hood is a true masterpiece.

ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:
Jeffrey Epstein * Pizzagate * Hank Williams, Jr. * Jenny McCarthy * Kathleen Turner * Gadget from the Rescue Rangers * Disney’s Robin Hood * furries * Zootopia

Below is the List of Every Damn Thing as of this recording (for the most up-to-date list, go here):

1. Prince (person)
2. Hank Williams (person)
3. air (element)
4. intro to Back That Azz Up (music)
5. nail clippers (tool)
6. land (element)
7. Jessica Rabbit (fictional character)
8. crows (animal)
9. sea (element)
10. coffee (beverage)
11. national debt (idea)
12. band t-shirts (clothing)
13. lightning rounds (idea)
14. generation ships (idea)
15. sardines (food)
16. Tommy Bahama shirts (clothing)
17. blood (substance)
18. Oreos (food)
19. sports team jerseys (clothing)
20. Josta (beverage)
21. Gambit (fictional character)
22. Surge (beverage)
23. Double Stuf Oreos (food)
24. Jenny McCarthy (person)
25. Hank Williams Jr. (person)
26. QAnon (idea)

If you have something to add to the List of Every Damn Thing, submit it by email to [email protected]

The theme song for this episode is by Jade Puget.

Podcast cover art by Jason Mann.

Our website is everydamnthing.net

Phil and Jake expand the List of Every Damn Thing by ranking the extreme beverages Surge and Josta, plus the artist known as Prince, and the concept of national debt.

SHOW NOTES:

• The Democratic Primary was won by Joe Biden months ago but the actual nomination at the convention was still disappointing to Jake & Phil (avowed hermanos Bernardos), though of course we are going to vote in November and so should you.
• The original marketing concept for Mountain Dew had a L’il Abner type theme. There's an old bluegrass song called Mountain Dew that's about moonshine, not soda.
• Here's the Surge cow-milking machine. We're not responsible for what you may do with this info.
• The tagline from the movie Blue Crush was “If you want to feel the rush, you have to take the risk”. This tag line informs all of the decisions we make. It’s the second-best tagline after Predator vs Aliens: “Whoever wins... we lose.”
• The Pepsi Challenge is a long-running gimmick that Pepsi goes off with, where they show that Pepsi will win a taste test. In the 80's they were maybe actually making some inroads vs. Coke. Phil & Jake took the Pepsi Challenge in the early 2000's in San Francisco's Union Square, and Pepsi won.
• Coca-Cola Freestyle machines are really bad. Phil's son tries to make the grossest things you can imagine, like Diet Dr. Pepper mixed with Orange Crush.
• Little Red Corvette is just a beautiful song. It’s a work of art. Other songs mentioned in this episode include Manic Monday, Sunday Morning Coming Down, Last Christmas, Walk Like An Egyptian, Nothing Compares 2 U, Batdance and The Glamorous Life.
• The sequel to Purple Rain was called Graffiti Bridge, and it was considerably less well-received than its predecessor. It currently has a 19% score on Rotten Tomatoes.
• Garfield is an orange cartoon cat who hates Mondays and loves lasagna. He’s not Heathcliff. We couldn’t find any pictures of him but trust us on this.
• It looks like Eric Clapton never said the quote that Jake references. Eric Clapton’s opinion is questionable anyway. He’s said some awful racist stuff, and his I Shot the Sheriff is nothing special. Tears in Heaven taught Phil to be careful leaving windows open once his son was born. Jake really likes the use of Layla in Goodfellas.
• Prince dunked on everyone during the performance of While My Guitar Gently Weeps at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame tribute to George Harrison.
• At the beginning of the COVID-19, the Prince Estate streamed the 1985 concert film Prince and the Revolution: Live in its entirety free for one weekend. You can still watch it in smaller chunks.
• RIP Charlie Murphy. He told the story on Chappelle's Show about playing basketball against Prince.
• What’s a cudgel? It turns out it’s just a club, but if you search for images you see mostly spiked clubs.
• Here's something said by economist John Maynard Keynes, which we like to think about once in a while: "If the Treasury were to fill old bottles with banknotes, bury them at suitable depths in disused coalmines which are then filled up to the surface with town rubbish, and leave it to private enterprise on well-tried principles of laissez-faire to dig the notes up again (the right to do so being obtained, of course, by tendering for leases of the note-bearing territory), there need be no more unemployment and, with the help of the repercussions, the real income of the community, and its capital wealth also, would probably become a good deal greater than it actually is. It would, indeed, be more sensible to build houses and the like; but if there are political and practical difficulties in the way of this, the above would be better than nothing."

ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:
Gambit of the X-Men * Jolt Cola * Guarana Antarctica * Hank Williams

Below is the List of Every Damn Thing as of this recording (for the most up-to-date list, go here):

1. Prince (person)
2. Hank Williams (person)
3. air (element)
4. intro to Back That Azz Up (music)
5. land (element)
6. crows (animal)
7. sea (element)
8. coffee (beverage)
9. national debt (idea)
10. band t-shirts (clothing)
11. lightning rounds (idea)
12. generation ships (idea)
13. sardines (food)
14. Tommy Bahama shirts (clothing)
15. blood (substance)
16. Oreos (food)
17. sports team jerseys (clothing)
18. Josta (beverage)
19. Gambit (fictional character)
20. Surge (beverage)
21. Double Stuf Oreos (food)
22. Jenny McCarthy (person)
23. Hank Williams Jr. (person)

The theme song for this episode is by Jade Puget.

Podcast cover art by Jason Mann.

Our website is everydamnthing.net

Phil and Jake continue construction on the List of Every Damn thing by ranking the intro to Juvenile's 1999 hit "Back That Azz Up", the science fiction concept of generations ships, and coffee.

SHOW NOTES:

• Bundling is the colonial practice where courting young people would be in bed together under parental supervision. It’s hard to tell from the 21st century how this worked in practice. Phil said “time of the American revolution” when he meant “colonial times”. Jake said “hole in the sheet” when he meant to say “piece of wood in the bed”.
• We mention the Hot Boys (here's We On Fire) and Cash Money Millionaires (here's Baller Blockin'). We don't get into it too much, but it’s really hard to overstate how big Cash Money Records was.
• What ever happened to Mannie Fresh? The answer is: He's still working. Everyone loves him and gives him the respect he’s due. Something unusual in retrospect is that he doesn’t say his name in the intro to Back that Azz Up. Mannie Fresh is known for among other things pushing the trend of having a producer tag like “Mike Will Made It” and “Just Blaze”.
• There is an oral history of Knuck if You Buck which is just incredibly informative. We can’t believe this is far enough in the past to warrant an oral history but we guess what they said was true: time passes.
• Hank Williams came up again. Is his best song I’ll Never Get Out of This World Alive? Possibly.
• Brian De Palma wrote the crawl at the beginning of Star Wars. Apparently there was a much longer crawl. When George Lucas showed him a rough cut of the movie, De Palma edited it down and harshly criticized it “What is this shit?” 
• Battlestar Galactica’s creator Glen A. Larson used Mormon themes in the story, as relayed by Phil’s sister. Maybe there are Mormon themes in Magnum P.I. and Knight Rider too.
• Orphans of the Sky by Robert Heinlein gets discussed but not named. It’s maybe the most popular story about a generation ship going wrong unless you count Wall-E. Aurora by Kim Stanley Robinson does get named.
• Starblazers is a cartoon we watched as kids in which the Japanese WWII battleship Yamato is rebuilt and turned into a spaceship to run a blockade of aliens in a desperate attempt to save the human race. It might surprise you to learn that the lead character was a cocky young space pilot with wild hair.
• Phil comes out against manned space exploration on the grounds that robots can handle the stresses of space travel better than we can.
• Tommy Bahamas shirts came up again. Jake and Phil may be forced to buy some.
• Lightsabers are just a fun, simple, dumb idea. The sound they make is perfect. Who doesn’t like that sound?
• Turkish coffee and cowboy coffee are essentially the same thing: unfiltered coffee.
• Jake mentioned that cashew shells are poisonous. Apparently they have the same chemical that makes poison ivy itch. A cashew is technically not a nut, it’s a seed. Since peanuts are legumes that means they need an asterisk on the mixed nuts bag.
• Jake plugs friend-of-the-pod coffee shops Time & Tide Coffee (in Biddeford, Maine) and Timeless Coffee (in Oakland, California). Both are top-notch.

• ALSO DISCUSSED:
  sardines * pour-over coffee * cafe culture * The Enlightement

  Below is the List of Every Damn Thing as of this recording (for the most up-to-date list, go here):

  1. Hank Williams (person)
  2. air (element)
  3. intro to Back That Azz Up (music)
  4. land (element)
  5. crows (animal)
  6. sea (element)
  7. coffee (beverage)
  8. band t-shirts (clothing)
  9. lightning rounds (concept)
  10. generation ships (idea)
  11. sardines (food)
  12. Tommy Bahama shirts (clothing)
  13. blood (substance)
  14. Oreos (food)
  15. sports team jerseys (clothing)
  16. Gambit (fictional character)
  17. Double Stuf Oreos (food)
  18. Jenny McCarthy (person)
  19. Hank Williams Jr. (person)

  The theme song for this episode is by Jade Puget.

  Podcast cover art by Jason Mann.

  Our website is everydamnthing.net

Phil and Jake continue to expand the List of Every Damn thing by ranking land, sea, air, 1994 Playmate of the Year Jenny McCarthy, and blood. We also sneak in a lightning round where we rank lightning rounds.

Please excuse Jake's audio quality; we had technical issues and promise to do better next time.

SHOW NOTES:

• “This Land Is Your Land” by Woody Guthrie probably should be our national anthem. Growing up they only taught us the first bit of the song and not the part about trespassing.
• Generation ships - one of Phil’s favorite concepts. It’s a colony of people that live on a spaceship en route to a far off planet. The voyage takes so long that the people are on the ship for 20 generations. The people who set out will never get to their destination and the people who get to the destination never set out, they were just born into it by choices their ancestors made. It’s really rich metaphorically. Science fiction writer Kim Stanley Robinson threw a lot of water on the idea here in this article but it’s still a fun idea.
• The Seven Seas - Is a term we didn’t really know the origin of. Apparently it was used in Mesopotamia, India & Rome with different meanings. Nowadays it’s generally understood to mean the Atlantic, Pacific, Indian & Arctic Oceans and also Mediterranean, Caribbean & Gulf of Mexico.
• We discussed some 1990s Playboy Mags, specifically the one where Jenny Mcarthy is posing with Santa Claus. Phil misremembered it that she was wearing a beard and dressed as Santa Claus but that’s probably too transgressive for 90s Playboy. Playboy had a baffling fascination with Santa Claus, half of the cartoons had Santa in them year-round. Regrettably we didn’t discuss Anna Nicole Smith.
• Phil mistakenly refers to the Mayans as the Aztecs.
• Rappers referenced: DMX (here’s Ruff Ryder’s Anthem), Spice-1 (here’s Clip & the Trigger and Smoke em Like a Blunt), DJ Quik (here’s Tonight).

ALSO DISCUSSED:
The movie Waterworld * Shoplifting * vaccines & anti-vaxxers * Spelling “blood” with your hands * ways that people eat blood * Da 5 Bloods, the Spike Lee film in which older actors play themselves as younger men * Beyond the Sea starring Kevin Spacey, which Phil saw on an airplane

Below is the List of Every Damn Thing as of this recording (for the most up-to-date list, go here):

1. Hank Williams (person)
2. air (element)
3. land (element)
4. crows (animal)
5. sea (element)
6. band t-shirts (clothing)
7. lightning rounds (concept)
8. sardines (food)
9. Tommy Bahama shirts (clothing)
10. blood (substance)
11. Oreos (food)
12. sports team jerseys (clothing)
13. Gambit (fictional character)
14 Double Stuf Oreos (food)
15. Jenny McCarthy (person)
16. Hank Williams Jr. (person)

The theme song for this episode is by Jade Puget.

Podcast cover art by Jason Mann.

Our website is everydamnthing.net

Phil & Jake double the size of the List of Every Damn Thing by ranking Tommy Bahama shirts, band t-shirts, sports jerseys, sardines and Gambit (the trench coat-wearing, playing card-flinging, Cajun-speaking Marvel mutant).

SHOW NOTES:

Brian Stow is the San Francisco Giants fan who was beat up at Dodgers Stadium.

Phil mentions the bro-country song “Hard to Forget” which samples “There Stands the Glass” by Webb Pierce. We don’t really get into it on the show, but even in 2020 Phil was shocked to hear a straight-up sample in a country song and clutched his pearls when he heard it. Also mentioned is “Friends in Low Places” by Garth Brooks which doesn’t sample anything.

ALSO DISCUSSED:
Alt-right clothing * Cabo Wabo lifestyle & Parrothead vibes * Halloween costumes * Stewart from Beavis & Butt-Head * the Edmonton Oilers logo * the Charlotte Hornets’ ground-breaking use of teal * what Whitney Houston & Hank Williams are doing in heaven * Phil’s relationship with Jake’s cat * Phil eating “Miao” brand tuna fish in Spain, which was probably intended for cats * Phil eating dog biscuits * the Marvel Comics characters Bullseye, Wolverine, Longshot (pic) & Venom * Poochie from The Simpsons diverting us all from the fireworks factory * Scrappy-Doo * Chachi from Happy Days

Below is the List of Every Damn Thing as of this recording (for the most up-to-date list, go here):

1. Hank Williams (person)
2. crows (animal)
3. band t-shirts (clothing)
4. sardines (food)
5. Tommy Bahama shirts (clothing)
6. Oreos (food)
7. sports team jerseys (clothing)
8. Gambit (fictional character)
9. Double Stuf Oreos (food)
10. Hank Williams Jr. (person)

The theme song for this episode is by Jade Puget.

Podcast cover art by Jason Mann.

Our website is everydamnthing.net

Phil & Jake inaugurate the List of Every Damn Thing by ranking Double Stuf Oreos, Oreos, crows, Hank Williams Jr. and Hank Williams.

The Charles Bukowksi prison pigeon story mentioned by Jake is included in the collection Tales of Ordinary Madness.

Bad songs by Prince got mentioned. After recording this episode, Phil found Purple & Gold, which is questionable at best. It was written as an anthem for the Minnesota Vikings.

Here are the details on Katherine Williams-Dunning's death.

Faron Young had a hit song called Live Fast Love Hard Die Young. This is the guy who Hank drew down on.

Also discussed in this episode: water skiing, pregnant babies, Ken Burns' Country Music.

Other songs mentioned:

 - Fax Me A Beer (apparently made into a Budweiser ad)

- A Country Boy Can Survive

- Whiskey Bent and Hell Bound

- Are You Ready for Some Football

- I Saw the Light

- Angel of Death

- Lost Highway

- I'll Never Get Out of this World Alive

- Jambalaya

Below is the List of Every Damn Thing as of this recording (for the most up-to-date list, go here):

1. Hank Williams (person)
2. crows (animal)
3. Oreos (food)
4. Double Stuf Oreos (food)
5. Hank Williams Jr. (person)

The theme song for this episode is by Jade Puget.

Podcast cover art is by Jason Mann.

Special thanks to Thadd La Rue.

Our website is everydamnthing.net