with Jim Florentine. "Why would anyone lie about this game? And why would anyone give a shit if somebody did lie about this game?"

with Jim Florentine. "I'm your classic girl next door” <-- if she lived next door to me, I’d fucking MOVE.

with Jim Florentine. "A real macho man would be driving a pickup truck or a Harley instead of a Toyota Rav 4.”

with "Jim Florentine" “How is THIS an inspirational quote?”

with Jim Florentine. "Monday Blues," or maybe your life just sucks.

with Jim Florentine. "I've been to the Cowboys stadium. It's like a strip club during the commercial breaks."

with Jim Florentine. “If I pulled a gun on everyone that told me I had a small penis, I'd be serving 3 consecutive life sentences. I might even be on death row."

More Awful Yelp Reviews with Jim Florentine.

Don't "mellow out" Jim Florentine. Honestly, this is the worst meal you've ever had? Really? You've never spent a night in a hospital?

with Jim Florentine. “If you’re looking at highway signs for a laugh, you’re not getting good enough comedy in your life.”