Everyday Legends

There is this consistent thing that happens with so many of the men I work with - a journey in understanding and processing their emotions.

For some guys, it's because they've shut off that side of themselves for so long - hearing terms that shame tears, emotions, or any kind of sensitivity will do that. And anything we shame and hide away will atrophy, it will die off.

For these guys, it is a whole new and terrifying thing to connect to their body, to their emotions, and to their heart.

For some other guys who identify with being more sensitive but in reality have this kind of over-sensitivity where they feel their emotions, even express them, but they have pour management of them.

And so, in understanding themselves, in really becoming the everyday legend that they can become - first for themselves and then for their partners, this journey is often necessary.

It can be daunting, confusing and fucking uncomfortable.

And I'm fortunate to have an ace up my sleeve on this in my coaching program - today's podcast guest: Kristian Stephan-Martin.

Beyond being a wonderful Relationship, sex & self-expression coach and remarkably talented dancer, Kristian has a skill in helping men drop into their hearts and really understand their feelings so they can learn, process, and move ahead in life.

That alone was reason to bring him onto today's episode.

We get started with a personal story of Kristian's, looking at what brought him to this place and this work. He shares a very personal story of early childhood trauma and how this massively impacted his belief about his manhood and masculinity, ultimately becoming a large catalyst for him exploring personal development and men's work.

We take his own journey and expand that into the world of men getting into their hearts in order to understand, process and figure out their emotions. His analogy of emotions being like a 'GPS' system is something to listen out for.

Kristian has a cool concept of 'Championing yourself' where you both play you in that moment and the supporting father in the corner you need. A wonderful way of working through something new, uncomfortable, and challenging

I trust you will get something from this conversation. Please share it with someone you think would enjoy, benefit from, and potentially be lovingly challenged by its content.

As always, if you have questions out of it - ask me. Hit me on social media @mikecampbellmc on Instagram or @Mike Campbell Man Coach on Facebook

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kristianstephanmartin/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kristian.stephanmartin
• Email: [email protected]

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• Explore Mike's EVERYDAY LEGENDS ACADEMY coaching program and book a strategy call to discuss if it can be the thing that makes THE difference in your life.

This topic sits central to basically everything we do. It's the one thing - not, one of many, actually - that we tend to have a 'just part of life' that we don't even question.

SUCCESS.

But what is it even? To be a successful man? The unspoken cultural agreement in the West looks something like: He earns 'good' money, has a 'good job, has nice things as a result, such as a house and car. Bonus points for power, status, and happy marriage but can also be a sexually talented bachelor. Sometimes both at the same time.

Welcome to manhood, son, that's your blueprint. Try your best to live up to it. And don't worry if it doesn't feel like you, go for it anyway because otherwise, well, I mean, otherwise, you won't be a success.

And obviously, f I'm not a success, I'm a failure by default.

And this is how it has been for so long, the glorified measure of success as a man, that has sent many a man chasing more and more and more and never really landing in a place that is actually meaningful.

He never connected any of those things to personal meaning - to what they provide for him, apart from feelings of success because they're the socially agreed-upon measures. And with that, the socially agreed upon respect and approval for achieving such things.

Or the men that can't reach them, and so pile endless pressure and expectation on top of themselves trying to collect more of this, often missing what is in front of them all along; relationships, family, LIFE.

This is what I cover in today's episode - what is success, how have we got to this point, and how can we take ownership of it for ourselves.

I've worked with many men over the years and chatted with (and studied) even more. What we place as success sits so paralysingly central to our life, to how we feel about ourselves, to what we do all day every day, that we simply must prioritise exploring it in more depth.

It isn't a baby out with the bathwater situation, of course. We don't reject striving and achieving, but we want to give individual context and meaning to it. And that's what I cover in this episode of the podcast.

We look at how we've narrowed down success as a man to our ability tp Provide, Protect, and Procreate. We explore these and where they actually have deep instinctual evolutionary roots

And I'll give you some things to reflect on and think about so you can start to determine what success is for yourself.

This really is just the beginning of this conversation, as it can and does need to go even deeper. Exploring and really uncovering what success is to you, why it is and how to both anchor that in deep personal meaning, and, therefore, create built-in personal motivation to create that, is central to the second and third pillars of the work in my major coaching program the EVERYDAY LEGENDS ACADEMY. If you want to find out more about that and when the 2021 intakes are - find out more here or email me today [email protected]

And if you have your own questions for a solo episode, then send them through to me at [email protected]

As always, if this lands, please share this episode with a man you know could benefit from it.

If you haven't, please leave me a rating and review on Apple Podcasts.

Remember - DO something with the lessons in this podcast. Let me know you're listening and how you're applying it in your life - tag me on socials @mikecampbellmc on Instagram or @Mike Campbell Man Coach on Facebook.

Other links:

• EVERYDAY LEGENDS ACADEMY - find out more here

Other ways to consume this podcast:

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• Read transcript (Coming soon)

Get involved:

• Subscribe to the podcast on Apple
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• Get Your Relationship Shit Together with Mike's Better Partner Project 4 week Accelerator Course in Relationships for Men

I was first introduced to Tim and his work via his TV show 'Boy to Man' back when it initially aired in Australia 2016. A show in which he travelled to 12 extremely remote locations to spend time with people still living in their traditional ways and partake in a series of coming of age boy to manhood rituals.

I remember being captivated by the first ad I saw on TV, for two reasons; one. I am deeply curious about rites of passage rituals and the journey from boy to man. At the time, this was something I was looking into more and becoming increasingly aware of via its glaringly impactful absence in most modern society and culture. I still am, for what it's worth.

And two, I love me some adventure into strange and wonderful places, which is something this show has by the bucket load.

Oh and three, at the time I was beginning a deep dive into a historical novel series based on the life of Ghengis Khan and his descendants, so with an episode going to Mongolia and taming a wild eagle - I was hooked before it even began.

The show didn't disappoint. With wild adventures, remarkable rituals and captivating situations that Tim got himself in, it was something I tuned in fr every week.

Not long after I reached out to Tim about having him speak at a Beyond The Beers event of mine on his adventures and what he learnt going through all of these coming of ages rituals. Unfortunately, we couldn't make the timing work.

So when I started getting a list of people I want to speak to for this podcast, I knew Tim ahd to be on the list.

And today, we bring you that conversation.

Since that show, Tim has also gone through another series of initiations, believe it or not. The first being another show with his fiancee PJ called 'Extreme Engagement' (now airing on Netflix globally) in which they, wait for it… set out to travel the world to remote occasions and villages to partake in ceremonies and challenges designed to test a couple before they commit to each other for life.

Yeah, Tim has a thing.

He has also gone through an initiation like no other, one I am extremely familiar with myself right now - fatherhood.

So in this episode, we touch on these rituals, what he experienced, the things he went through, what he learnt, what he saw in the other participants, especially the young men doing the coming of age rituals with him.

We cover some of the most challenging moments he has faced, and the invariable 'death' that needs to occur in these rites of passage so that the new man can arise from the ashes, as it were, and become a mature, integrated, and valuable member of the community.

Integral to all of these adventures and experiences was the fact that he was the film crew - he was capturing all the footage and capturing it in a way that would make not only a great TV show, but each adventure had to be a complete episode. He took one friend with him to run the sound and any filming he couldn't do. That was it. An extra level to all of this, something we touch on in this podcast episode as well.

Given all of the adventures Tim has been on, we could easily talk about it for hours. The stories alone are endless. However, I didn't want this episode to simply be him telling outrageous epic stories, I wanted to get into the experiences and learn from him so we can all learn from him.

So, we cover a bit of everything in this one.

I trust you will get something from this conversation. Please share it with someone you think would enjoy, benefit from, and potentially be lovingly challenged by its content.

As always, if you have questions out of it - ask me. Hit me on social media @mikecampbellmc on Instagram or @Mike Campbell Man Coach on Facebook

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timnoonantv/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wildmanfilms/
• Website: https://wildmanfilms.com/
• Extreme Engagement: https://www.netflix.com/au/title/80210245

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• Create a POWERFUL same-page partnership that feels EASY; take on your own Extreme Engagement - Explore Mike's Better Partner Project 4 week Accelerator Course in Relationships for Men

This is a conversation from a few months ago - smack bang in the middle of one of 2020's major global offerings - a look at race.

Black Lives Matter exploded with fervour in the US after the police killing of George Floyd. A powder keg was ignited both in the US and in many places across the globe, leading to one giant and multifaceted conversation on race, racism, and how people of colour have been treated and marginalised in a lot of society.

Here in Australia was no different, as protests amongst the confusion and government restrictions od COVID-19 took place, with the US topic of deaths in police custody also having roots here too.

For me, the conversation is one that can't be ignored, and the rhetoric of "It's not enough to not be racist, one must be anti-racist" soon spread, which lead to my own deep reflection.

It's easy to stand back and say "I'm not racist" but what does that do to help change such deeply rooted systemic and casual racism?

Nothing.

I'm not a rapist either, but sitting on hands and hiding behind saying that does nothing to reduce assault when I can actually do something to heal more men and prevent them from becoming perpetrators.

So, when this hit I knew I had to do something - and what can I do? Well, I can start with a conversation, I can use the platform I have to highlight the voices and experiences of people of colour.

Which led me instantly to reaching out to my good friend Nick Bradley-Qalilawa. I have had him on stage at a Beyond The Beers event before where we spoke about race, and he also shared some fascinating and captivating stories of growing up (in part) in Fiji.

In this conversation, Nick takes us into what it was like growing up in Australia the son of a Fijian father and a white European mother. He had different experiences both in his largely white family, but also a largely white society in which he somehow became exempt from being "just another black fella".

I learned a lot during this time in the global conversation on race. I listened to books, read pieces, watched videos, spoke to friends, and consumed content from many people of colour, Nick being one of them. I always learn from this man. I appreciate his insight and unique intelligence, and his generosity in sharing his experiences.

Some of his stories in here, some of the things he shared that he's still working to understand, really made me sit back and get a lot of pieces I hadn't had fall into place yet when it comes to racism.

I also had to sit back and reflect on where I have been an active participant in some of the same kinds of situations Nick discussed.

I wanted to bring this to my podcast and publish it because it was not designed to be a popular topic conversation when everyone was walking about it. It was meant to make a dent and spurn more conversation. I hope that does this via this podcast. Because Nick sure is an Everyday Legend.

I trust you will get something from this conversation. Please share it with someone you think would enjoy, benefit from, and potentially be lovingly challenged by its content.

As always, if you have questions out of it - ask me. Hit me on social media @mikecampbellmc on Instagram or @Mike Campbell Man Coach on Facebook

Where to find Nick:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theonlyblackswan/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/NNBBQQ

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Explore Mike's Better Partner Project 4 week Accelerator Course in Relationships for Men

Ahhhh, the friendzone. That lonely yet connected, comforting yet terrorising, familiar yet frustrating place.

Of course, the friend zone isn't the only place we might end up chasing unrequited love - sometimes it's in a relationship that stutters and two people seem to be misaligned. Either way, finding ourselves in the place of wanting someone and them not wanting us back, or them being unavailable to us, can be heart-aching and life-consuming.

That's the subject of this week's podcast episode in a revamped version of a listener Q&A. I have had tonnes of questions from guys in and around this area. Usually from 'Nice Guys' - guys that are so terrified of rejection, who so desperately need to be liked or their inner world will fall over, so they end up just playing the good nice guy in the hope that people will see them as this and like them.

These guys - of which I am a recovering Nice Guy myself - often end up in glorified friendships, essentially one-sided faux-relationships, with women/people they have feelings for because they were too unsure about themselves early on to say how they felt combined with an almost unbearable fear of rejection, that they just hover in the space of "If I am around enough and nice enough, maybe they'll notice/like/love me."

(It doesn't work).

Previously across three different #AskMike Q&A videos on my social media channels, I have addressed similar questions in this space. Today on the podcast I wanted to bring them together and dive a bit deeper on what's playing out and what to do about it, how to get past that crippling and almost life-stoping focus on unavailable love.

I introduce the overall topic and then each individual video, before expanding on them all with some common themes and lessons for guys who are either in this right now in your life, or recognise that pattern totally unrelated to unrequited love, where you're so narrow-focused on one thing that you can't seem to focus on anything else even though you know you need to.

Mike's Takeaways:

I could talk about this all day. I've helped so many guys in situations like this, not just deep in the friendzone - of their own creation - but suffering of Nice Guyitis in all areas of life.

The simplest advice - to quote Stifler from American Pie - is to "locate your balls, remove the shrink wrap" and have the conversation.

But it's much more than that. In all reality, the key is to focus on something else - in the case of unrequited love - what other love is possible for and available to you.

Of course, this last part brings up something central to the Nice Guy that we touch on in the episode - 'Well, I have to then believe there is more out there for me'

If this resonates and hits home, please tell me. If you are going to take action on the advice in here I would love to hear about it - share your messy action with me.

And if you have your own questions for a solo Q&A episode, then send them through to me at [email protected]

As always, if this lands, please share this episode with a man you know could benefit from it.

If you haven't, please leave me a rating and review on Apple Podcasts.

Remember - DO something with the lessons in this podcast. Let me know you're listening and how you're applying it in your life - tag me on socials @mikecampbellmc on Instagram or @Mike Campbell Man Coach on Facebook.

Other links:

• Take my 2 minute quiz - 'Are you too nice?'

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Get Your Relationship Shit Together with Mike's Better Partner Project 4 week Accelerator Course in Relationships for Men

It's November now - and for certain men, certain groups and organisations that means one thing (among many) - MOvember.

Which really brings to the conversation the idea of men growing moustaches in support of men's health; more specifically testicular cancer, prostate cancer and suicide in men.

Of course, Movember isn't the only charity or organisation dealing with men's mental health, in fact, I am a board member of one called The MENtour. Our mission is very much about raising men's emotional literacy.

And that's ultimately what I wanted to (and did) cover in this episode: What is men's mental health and why do we struggle with it so much?

Here's the big glaring statistic on this issue: roughly 75% of all suicides are men. In Australia is essentially 6 a day out of 8 across the nation. And these stats generally carry over in the majority of the western world.

We can look at solutions to dealing with the risk, we have countless awareness campaigns - growing moustaches being a very obvious and highly effective one - and we have more and more, what I call, crisis point options and organisations dealing with men at the brink.

But this like so many aspects of being a man, is reactive - it's waiting until the shit has hit the fan and trying to clean it up, instead of preventing the shit from getting in the vicinity of the fan, to begin with.

That's what we cover in this podcast - how men can be proactive with their mental and emotional wellbeing - how they can build emotional literacy.

We explore how this even happens - why a lot of men not only fear exploring their emotions but what happens when something hasn't been used for so long - it atrophies.

And we then look at what else comes into this picture, such as building genuine resilience and overall mental strength, including the ability to simply talk through shit that needs to be talked through.

This is both a perspective on how we view and approach men's mental health and emotional wellbeing, and some ideas and tangible actions you can implement in your own life today.

As always, if this lands, please share this episode with a man you know could benefit from it.

If you haven't, please leave me a rating and review on Apple Podcasts.

Remember - DO something with the lessons in this podcast. Let me know you're listening and how you're applying it in your life - tag me on socials @mikecampbellmc on Instagram or @Mike Campbell Man Coach on Facebook.

Other links:

• Movember
• The MENtour
• Tomorrow Man

Other ways to consume this podcast:

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• Read transcript (coming soon)

Get involved:

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Get Your Relationship Shit Together with Mike's Better Partner Project 4 week Accelerator Course in Relationships for Men

I'm very excited about today's guest, a good friend of mine in the first woman on our show. Miss Amber Hawken.

I've been very fortunate to be her friend for some time. And that has been both in just two humans connecting on a level that we get each other, but also because of, you know, where we're at and the work that we do. And that's one of the major reasons why I wanted to bring Amber onto the show.

Because of the insight, the skills, the expertise she has in helping people get the shit together.

I wanted to bring her on because as a woman, I believe she has a beautiful and unique perspective for men, as women of course do. And I will talk to many more women on the show. I wanted to speak to Amber to get a bit of a woman's perspective for men, but more specifically, and as you hear in this podcast, I wanted to speak to the idea of the conversation of safety.

I've done plenty of posts about this in the past, that speak somewhere along the lines to: "Men, she needs to feel safe with you."

They usually get a monumental response from women and from guys sometimes "Yes, and okay, please tell me more or make sense of this." And also "It should go both ways."

And so in this episode with Amber we'll explore that; the idea of safety. What that is to women, to the feminine and in with it, we actually go into looking at the masculine and feminine; those modes. In us, as individuals, as well as how that plays out in our relationships; how do we understand these aspects and modes and energies in us?

Amber's got some beautiful, uh, personal stories that she shares in amongst this.

For guys, you might want to pass on some of this stuff to some of your female partners. Also to any of my gay audience, there's a lot here speaking to the feminine in anyone. So it doesn't really matter who you are. I think you can get a lot from this and from Amber. Including any female listeners, for sure.

See below for some tools from Amber and how to access more from her.

A little of the 'formal' bio: Cause I love it. And it goes:"In a society that capitalises on our deepest fears, doubts and insecurities people no longer have the courage to show themselves, be themselves, live for themselves, think for themselves. Alas, we get so lost in this trap of gratification and escape that we live empty lives, trying to fulfil a version of someone else's perfect.

It's a fucking tragedy. Amber's work is dedicated to passing on practical principles for spiritual evolution and a magnificent life. And for that four ingredients are required: vulnerability, mindfulness, a great sense of humour and purpose."

As always, if you take something from this, please share it with me, let us know, share it with someone else, take the episode and share it with someone that you think might get a lot from this. Reach out; let me know that you're listening. And of course, you know, I'm going to ask this, make sure that you follow subscribe, click, download, and leave us a rating and a review.

It gives us so much support in getting this in front of other eyes and ears that need it, that can benefit from it. And with that said, let's get into the show.

Mike's main lessons/takeaways:

This can be a HUGE topic to start exploring for men if you haven't explored safety and the masculine/feminine. This is a nice starting point, and the perspective of women is easily the most powerful way to learn this. Tune in to the examples she gives, and if you have questions out of it - ask me: Hit me on social media @mikecampbellmc on Instagram or @Mike Campbell Man Coach on Facebook

Where to find Amber

• Website: http://www.amberhawken.com/
• Instagram: @amber_hawken
• Facebook: FB.com/hawkenamber
• Amber Hawken Podcast

Resources mentioned:

• Coherent breathing - this link
• Feel Free in 15 Minutes here

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Dr Jeremy Goldberg is a wonderfully unique and wholly interesting and refreshing human.

This episode represented one of many ways a conversation between us could have gone.

A self-confessed 'Recovering Scientist" - Jeremy spent years working on not only preventing Climate Change, but how we actually change people's behaviours in order for that to happen on large scale.

He has an immense love for the planet, and for life. And that is evident even in 5 minutes in his company.

In this episode, we start there, on his history in studying behaviour change, and we wander into how this has then impacted his own life in changing some old behaviours, and the beliefs underlying them, that haven't served him so well in the past.

We explore his own experience with codependency and how one of his biggest areas of growth has been in relationships and stepping away from trying to fix his partner's feelings because it was the only mode he knew. That and it helped negate his own discomfort in more awkward feelings.

With that part alone there is a lot for you to take away from this episode.

We also explore how this then has become one of his core ways of being - doing hard shit. And how even this isn't about some noble way of being better and winning personal development, but simply because he's lazy.

Just some of the realness that Jeremy brings to literally anything he does. It's always refreshing and fun to speak with him, and I hope you'll get that from this conversation too.

Be sure to share this with a man you think could benefit from it and enjoy Jeremy take on things. Let me know you're listening to is - tag me on social media - and if you haven't yet, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it can take you two minutes but help me massively to get this in front of more men who may just resonate with something that facilitates monumental (or small) change in his life.

Mike's main lessons/takeaways:

Jeremy's zest for life is infectious. I literally think fo his every time I see wildlife (follow him on social media to make more sense of that). He brings his unique, light, engaging, and down to earth style to everything he does, including this episode. Beyond the actual content we cover, I think the takeaway for me is in how Jeremy chooses to relentlessly, and lazily, live his own life.

Contact Info for Jeremy

• Website: http://longdistancelovebombs.com/
• 'Do Hard Shit' program
• Instagram: @longdistancelovebombs
• Podcast: https://anchor.fm/longdistancelovebombs

'Other Ways To Consume this podcast'

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• Explore Mike's Better Partner Project 4 week Accelerator Course in Relationships for Men

In this episode, I venture into and explore something very close to my heart - and head and balls - and that is: INTEGRITY.

It is my highest values, because, for me, everything else is determined by this. If I don't have that, then all my other values don't really get a chance.

Join me as I share some personal stories - including the first one in which as a younger man I fell into a common trap; lying to someone a liked and pulling myself right out of integrity in doing so.

I take you through what integrity actually is, how to assess it, and how to understand it on a deeper level so that if we fall out of it we can navigate our way back in.

I visit a story about a time my now father-in-law hit me with a daunting question in front of his (Nardia's) family, well before I was even close to being a permanent fixture; "What are your intentions with our Nardia?"

* GULP*

Tune in to see how I handled this. Quite fucking excellently, I might add.

I call on this story often in teaching about integrity because regardless of the answer I shared, what the key point sticks to is - can I be honest here regardless of what that honesty entails?

I venture into some of the nature of men and the masculine in how we have this need to test each other, and essentially what we're doing is testing the strength, the dependability of those men we go into battle (hunt) with.

If you're a man struggling to understand yourself, wanting to work out what that niggling little feeling inside of you is, or simply wanting to access what's possible for you, it starts and stops with INTEGRITY - this episode is for you.

As always, if this lands, please share this episode with a man you know could benefit from it.

If you haven't, please leave me a rating and review on Apple Podcasts.

Remember - DO something with the lessons in this podcast. Let me know you're listening and how you're applying it in your life - tag me on socials @mikecampbellmc on Instagram or @Mike Campbell Man Coach on Facebook.

Other content mentioned:

• Integrity Check-In questions:
  • 1. What was the promise or commitment you made to yourself?
    2. What did you choose to do? (Have you been choosing/did you choose to do instead?)
    3. What are the consequences?
    4. What's the driver?
    5. Is this a pattern?
    6. What do you need to do to return to/remain in integrity?

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Get involved:

• Subscribe to the podcast on Apple
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• Get Your Relationship Shit Together with Mike's Better Partner Project 4 week Accelerator Course in Relationships for Men

This conversation with Isaac is one where I want to showcase the Everyday Legend - someone living with authenticity and relentlessly going about living life his way.

We cover the life from professional football to what happens next - how that impacts identity and the often unchosen task of role model. This then brings us to look at the position he now sees himself in, one he's chosen, and that is of a role model, someone who has an impact on many young men wanting to build a business with something they're passionate about.

We explore growing up in small-town New Zealand and what Isaac believes that instilled in him, and how he is now building business, all things that bring him joy - despite the hard work involved.

When it comes to this work, and the idea of becoming an Everyday Legend - there is A LOT we can look at and have to work on, but the best work is always done when we simplify life and the steps to self-acceptance, purpose, and fulfilment. I believe Isaac is one of those dues who lives by some simple philosophies that serve him greatly. And by indirect default, serve many of the young men that look up to him.

Leadership takes on many forms. Sometimes it looks like a young former footballer turned passionate entrepreneur with the insight into both getting the most out of himself, and how that impacts those who watch and follow him.

I think there are some great lessons in this for the men listening, especially to those guys who feel like they might have had a big shift in their role or identity, and for those guys who can struggle with productivity versus simply being busy - and want to work out how to manage this so their energy is going into things that they are both passionate about and bring them reward in various forms.

Mike's main lessons/takeaways:

Isaac is someone I see as relentlessly and courageously carving his own path. He's open, authentic and most definitely running his own race. He's unapologetic about his influences, but very much gives things his own flavour, and the way he runs his business to the way he leads his life, show me someone happy in himself, someone grounded in purpose.

I feel Isaac's take on life and business can help other men looking to live with more authenticity.

• Instagram: @iice_
• Instagram: @yktr_
• Website: YKTR.com.au

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