Everyone Dies In Sunderland: A podcast about growing up terrified in the eighties and nineties

At 8am on Friday August 1981 the phone rang at Ripon police station. 

A voice announced police would find “a decomposed body among the willow herbs” at a particular grid reference close to Sutton Bank top. The caller refused to give a name “for reasons of national security” and hung up. 

Police attended the scene and, at popular picnic site, found the bones of a naked woman in a large patch of Rosebay Willow, in a case that became known as “the nude in the nettles”.

Even though it wasn’t nettles.

We know she wore pink Max Factor Nail Varnish. We know she might have had some yoghurt prior to her death. We’ve even got a good idea what she looked like. But to this day, we don’t know how she died, how she got there, or even who she was.

We also take a look back at 1981, when simply everyone was trying to assassinate world leaders! Along the way: Riots! Royal Weddings!  Motorway pile-ups involving Eurovision winners! The disadvantages of owning a Delorean! Harrison Ford suddenly turning up in North Shields! The best joke ever told in the history of this podcast! 

Claire congratulates Beyonce for not dying! John recreates the iconic rapping of Pitbull! Gareth tries to make sure that not even 23 and Me will sponsor us! Captain America crashes a six form leaving do! 

If you know anything all about this case, please call the North Yorkshire Cold Case Review Unit on 01609 643292 or email at [email protected]. Let’s hope if nothing else that one day this woman gets her name back. 

You can reach us on email [email protected], on Twitter at @everyonediespod, on Facebook and Instagram. 

Our theme music is the song “Steady Away” by Pete Dilley and can be found on his album Half-truths and Hearsay which you can/should buy/stream here: https://petedilley.bandcamp.com/album/half-truths-and-hearsay  

You’re always there when I’m lost for words, just thinking up more to finish the verse, it’s done!

In this very special episode, Everyone Dies in Sunderland teams up with the wonderful Jenny from Its Murder Up North to take a look at the crimes of Hartlepool-born multiple murderer Arthur “The Fox” Hutchinson, one only 23 prisoners to be serving a whole life tariff. 

Don’t compare Bold the Fox Cub to a murderer though – call him “Slapstick Bundy” or “Twat Mustard”.

In September 1983 the police left Hutchinson unattended by an open window at Selby police station.  Three people – a family celebrating a wedding – would lose their lives before he was recaptured. 

He would spent his time on the run “taunting” the police with letters and calls in which he tried desperately try to make the nickname “The Fox” happen, boasted of being “the master of disguise”  (sunglasses) and insisted HE HAD NEVER BEEN TO WORKSOP.  

Not so much of a criminal mastermind that he hadn’t left his teeth marks in a block of cheese at the crime scene though. 

We also take a look at 1986, learn that Matthew Broderick was involved in almost as many deaths as Arthur Hutchinson while holidaying in Northern Ireland and discuss innocuous things which scared you as a child, including Family Ness and Fraggle Rock (John) Bananaman (Jenny), Playdays (Claire) and Short Circuit on the Commodore 64 (Gareth).

Clare has bad moussaka at a wedding (I think that’s what the aubergine emoji means) Gareth gets nostalgic for acid rain. John ruins a school assembly. Jenny hijacks a school bus. Jim Davidson gets punched in the face by a werewolf. 

Along the way: Radioactive Sheep! Incest! The not dissimilar fates of the crew of the Space Shuttle Challenger and Rod Hull! Basil Brush’s dark origin story! More onstage fatalities! 

You can reach us on email [email protected], on Twitter at @everyonediespod, on Facebook and Instagram. 

Our theme music is the song “Steady Away” by Pete Dilley and can be found on his album Half-truths and Hearsay which you can/should buy/stream here: https://petedilley.bandcamp.com/album/half-truths-and-hearsay  

I am Rod Hull https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQsRClW77_4

When we talk about dying, it feels like a pipedream 

A little after 7am on Sunday September 1st 2016 Peter Maine went for a jog through the centre of Durham. A short while later he was found by the banks of the River Wear with three stab wounds to the heart. To this day we don’t know if it was murder or suicide. 

No sign of robbery. No defensive wounds. So suicide? 

In which case, what happened to the knife?

We do know that police estimate that 65 people may have wanted to do him harm. I’m not sure I know 65 people overall, and I’ve interviewed Barry McGuigan and several other people. 

Gareth gets investigated by the security services! John is called posh for not liking Pringles! Claire pivots magnificently from the NON-EXISTANT AND ENTIRELY FICTIONAL link between MMR and autism to trying to play roller derby in a sea of blood and lager! The Offspring fight cancer and HIV/AIDS!

There's also brief attempt to remember 1998, including the Omagh bombing (and in particular the world's most harrowing holiday photo), the construction of the Millennium Dome, significant loss of life somewhere in Algeria Claire can't pronounce the name of ("however you say it, there was a massacre there") and Aqua. 

Along the way: Time Capsules! The wilful destruction of a ponytail at Morrissey’s request! Paula White’s last show on BBC Stoke! Danny Dyer romcoms! Robbie Mustoe! Richard and Judy’s suicide pact! Local government reorganisation in the West Country! This show has it all. 

Shout outs in this episode to Study in Scarlet and Reverie – check ‘em out! 

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned Fat Mike the extremely vocal sparrow who lives in my garden. Fat Mike is very obvious in this episode, making the whole episode sound somewhat like the old Big Brother livestreams when they used to play birdsong and train noise to cover controversial conversations. Sorry about that. 

For all our snark, if you have any information at all about  the death of Peter Heron, please call Crimestoppers anonymously on 0800 555 111 or use their anonymous online form at Crimestoppers-uk.org. His family deserve to know what happened. 

You can reach us on email [email protected], on Twitter at @everyonediespod, on Facebook and Instagram. 

Our theme music is the song “Steady Away” by Pete Dilley and can be found on his album Half-truths and Hearsay which you can/should buy/stream here: https://petedilley.bandcamp.com/album/half-truths-and-hearsay  

Writing sleeper hits for all these weeping dipshits.

In November 1995 the sitcom Caroline in the City – Lea Thompson played a woman called Caroline who lived in a city – tried to boost its profile with crossover episodes with the (much popular) Friends and Frasier.

In a completely unrelated note, this episode sees us team up with Lindsay and Madison from Ye Olde Crime podcast! They tell us all about the death of Joe the Quilter in Northumberland in 1826, the murder of an elderly quilt maker in rural Northumberland which ends up involving Prime Minister Robert Peel and King George IV. In the aftermath. Not the murder itself. The story isn’t that good. 

A notorious crime which took place 4000 miles from them and ten minutes from us WHERE CLAIRE’S PARENTS MET AND WHERE OUR MUCH MORE SUCCESSFUL SIBLING BEX FROM THE GETTING EMOTIONAL PODCAST WAS BORN AND GREW UP but that they found first. 

Because the show is supposed to be about growing up terrified in the eighties and nineties we also take a trip back to 1995 to sort of remember OJ, the Oklahoma City bombing and the death of Leah Betts. Along the way there’s Tank rampages! Keeping a chainsaw in the car! The odd (onscreen) sexual fetishes of Lea Thompson! Teddy Roosevelt appreciation! The inexplicably stateside popularity of Keeping Up Appearances! Terrible sexual education! An excellent football joke from 1995 which dies a death! 

In the words of Claire:  “We’re not a real true crime podcast, are we?”

Claire eats roadkill. Gareth eats a sheep’s head. John eats at Chillis. PRETTY MUCH THE SAME THING AM I RIGHT? I’M HERE ALL WEEK! TRY THE PHEASANT! SERIOSULY, BEFORE GARETH TELLS THE STORY AGAIN! 

You can reach us on email [email protected], on Twitter at @everyonediespod, on Facebook and Instagram. 

You can reach them at @yeoldecrimepodcast on Twitter, on Instagram and at their website.

There’s a shoutout to the Getting Emotional podcast. As if the woman from The Guardian needs it. 

Our theme music is the song “Steady Away” by Pete Dilley and can be found on his album Half-truths and Hearsay which you can/should buy/stream here: https://petedilley.bandcamp.com/album/half-truths-and-hearsay  

Ever wondered why we called our show “Everyone Dies In Sunderland”? It’s actually nothing to do with true crime at all. 

But it is related to the very sad, very public, death of Carry On legend Sid James.

The gang then takes a look at the harrowing lives of some of the other cast members of the legendary comedy franchise.Gareth tells us about the life of inadequate drunk Charles Hawtrey. Claire teaches us about the depressed and lonely Joan Sims. John examines the self-destructive life of Hattie Jacques. 

As Gareth puts it: “The amount of murders we’ve covered and I’m genuinely more depressed after this episode than any other”.

Alcoholism! Depression! Backstreet abortions! Racism! Drugs! Uncomfortable episodes of This Is Your Life!  Eating disorders! Having to work with Eric Sykes! Almost burning to death enjoying a post-coital cigarette! Joan Sims’ annoyance at her IMDB entry! This episode has the lot! 

Digressions in this episode include: Owen Hargreaves! California Dreams!  Max Headroom! Some very problematic episodes of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air! Richard Littlejohn’s literary career! Uncle Jack! T-bag! Mike and Angelo! Parachute related soap fatalities! The sexual psychosis induced by the Cadbury’s Caramel Rabbit! 

What’s the worst job you’ve had? Is it worse then John’s? Let us know!

You can reach us on email [email protected], on Twitter at @everyonediespod, on Facebook and Instagram. 

Our theme music is the song “Steady Away” by Pete Dilley and can be found on his album Half-truths and Hearsay which you can/should buy/stream here: https://petedilley.bandcamp.com/album/half-truths-and-hearsay  

Shout outs in this show to @tdfdpod and @murderupnorth 

Fenella Fielding’s Blue Monday really is very good https://youtu.be/4j7h9_-Vt8w 

If you are affected by anything in this show, these organisations are here to help:

·         www.mind.org.uk 

·         www.samaritans.org 

·         https://www.turning-point.co.uk/services/drug-and-alcohol-support.html 

In 1994 four teenage boys in Sunderland – all students from the same school – died one after another, with their bodies found for the most part in burning sheds or derelict buildings with ligatures around their neck.

The police insisted nothing sinister was going on.              

A lot of true crime shows will at some point say “this sounds like something out of a horror movie” – but that is a horror movie, right? 

Tonight we look at the case of Steven Grieveson – aka (but not by us) as The Sunderland Strangler - the only North East serial killer of the modern era. 

Gareth expresses his love for Bush, Curry and Beer. John solves the thorny problem of how  footballers can continue with their career after prison sentences. Claire believes that the musical career of Ant and Dec is more significant  than the Rwandan genocide. Listeners hear the words “beaver anuses” a lot.

Digressions in this episode include: Ensemble charity singles! The death of Stephen Milligan MP! The death of Andreas Escobar and Alan Hansen’s startlingly inappropriate response! Gary Rhodes! Alice Beer! Swearing on Farscape! Rednex! Jewish Eggs! Spiderland by Slint (DON’T LISTEN TO IT)! The Elongated Man!  Hans Zimmer!  

Everyone Dies in Sunderland explores some of the darkest moments of North East history, and includes jokes. These jokes will never be at the expense of victims or their families and will always be at the expense of people who deserve to be mocked, robbed of their power and shown up for the idiots they really are. If you’re easily offended or personally connected to the events we’re discussing though, you probably shouldn’t listen.  

During this episode John suggests that we allow serial killer nicknames if they make the killers sound ridiculous. So Peter Sutcliffe is now “the dangly willy killer” in tribute to his iconic homemade underpants. Any other suggestions? Drop us a line! 

You can reach us on email [email protected], on Twitter at @everyonediespod, on Facebook and Instagram. 

Our theme music is the song “Steady Away” by Pete Dilley and can be found on his album Half-truths and Hearsay which you can/should buy/stream here: https://petedilley.bandcamp.com/album/half-truths-and-hearsay  

There are shout-outs in this episode to our podcast pals @uktruecrime @oklahomicide @yeoldecrimepodcast @wdstorytime. Lovin’ yr work! Also shout-outs @davidsbookblurg who got in touch to tell us that he didn’t remember the death of Kurt Cobain and @MsSpencey who requested a show about Steven Grieveson after we’d recorded it. Damn we’re good! 

Meet the possible serial killer who might be back on the streets this December

The gang revisits 1997, and investigates North Shields-born Allan Grimson – convicted of killing two men, suspected of killing three and possibly responsible for the deaths of up to twenty undiscovered victims.

There’s a good chance he’ll be released this December.

The gang also remembers the death of Princess Diana and the 1997 General Election.

John apologies to Jessica Ennis Hill. Claire gets tickled by Brian Harvey from East 17. Gareth plays with a monster in his pocket. Princess Diana ruins the TV schedules. 

Digressions in this episode include: Galaxy High, Matey, East 17, Dolly the Sheep, Love City Groove, the sad story of the Chagos Islanders, Saved By The Bell: The College Years and alarming shopping baskets encountered during jobs in retail. 

As always, we would love to hear from you, particularly:

·         Which terrible nightclubs did a younger you go to purely because there literally used to be a national bedtime of 11pm? More importantly, were you served a brightly coloured cocktail by Dominic Cummings in iconic nightclub Klute? 

·         Did your French oral exam go hilariously wrong?

·         What alarming shopping baskets have you encountered during jobs in retail?

You can reach us on email [email protected], on Twitter at @everyonediespod, on Facebook and Instagram. 

Our theme music is the song “Steady Away” by Pete Dilley and can be found on his album Half-truths and Hearsay which you can/should buy/stream here: https://petedilley.bandcamp.com/album/half-truths-and-hearsay  

This episode of Thomas the Tank Engine is surprisingly harrowing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iO6qIM2WO6k 

You remember Dream Phone, right? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-cE8Umr3qw 

Completely irrelevant right, but Fightmilk are awesome band and they have a song called Dream Phone - https://soundcloud.com/fightmilkisaband/dream-phone-2 

Easter Egg: John and Consett’s Premier Ellie Kemper have a particularly excitable Sparrow living in their garden. They have christened him Fat Mike. Can you hear him?

In 1978 a hoaxer from Wearside led the police searching for a notorious serial killer on a wild goose chase. Actual wild geese would have done a better job of catching him. Seriously, the guy literally fell out of the sky and landed on the police at one point and it still took them 18 years to catch him.

This is the story of the notorious hoaxer Wearside Jack, a story involving séances, beer mat caricatures, a huge pot of stew, a bath falling through the ceiling and an alarming ice cream van.

As 1978 isn’t in the eighties or nineties, the gang also takes a trip back to 2006, when the story briefly involved John. Gareth plays Finders Keepers badly. Claire imagines life as a mermaid. John gets gaslit by Aldi. Julian Assange is mistaken for a gerbil.

This episode was recorded in the aftermath of the murder of Sarah Everard and includes an uncharacteristic outbreak of sincerity and seriousness. 

Less important digressions in this episode include slavery, Gunnersarus, people dressed as statues, George Formby being a low-key badass, Tony Blackburn’s interest in suicide and how George Michael loves Joy Division so much he can’t remember any of their songs. 

What have you been scared of completely unnecessarily? Like Gareth worrying about drinking too much tea, Claire being scared stiff by the Honey Monster or John being terrified by the opening credits of Casualty. Let us know at  [email protected], on Twitter at @everyonediespod, on Facebook and Instagram

Craig Charles’ virtual reality gameshow was called CyberZone apparently https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLj-xibrpoM 

This is Stewart Lee on Richard Littlejohn - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmsV1TuESrc 

This is Stewart Lee on Richard Hammond - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRrTMhAO4ac 

During recording John talked about the Japanese term Mono Non Aware. This didn’t make the cut, but you should totally check out friend of the show Bex’s poscast Getting Emotional, which did an entire show about it https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/mono-no-aware-with-sonoko-ishii/id1553108837?i=1000510449364  

Don’t watch this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRXDo8fgEQ8 

Easter egg: Can you spot the moment Gareth does a rude hand gesture? Let us know if you do!

The gang takes a look at the murder of noted dermatologist Dr David Birkett by the notable idiot Reg Wilson, an attempt to commit the perfect murder with the aid of Japanese erotica, stencils and crashing a motorbike into a wall like Jay did on The Inbetweeners that time, but still managing to leave fingerprints at the scene. Reg did manage to build a ladder in a maximum security prison though, so that’s something.

John is quite mean to Lewis Capaldi and names a section of his lawn after an unnamed actor. Gareth wants to know how to kill a Rottweiler. Claire knows how to kill a Rottweiler. Gareth sings “The Circle of Life” from the Lion King. This is unconnected to the Rottweiler stuff. Timmy Mallett invites a friend of the show to stay for Christmas. 

Consett’s Premier Ellie Kemper Impersonator also makes her first IRL appearance. 

Digressions in this episode include: Legendary Newcastle floating nitespot the Tuxedo Princess, Wrestlemania VI and mortality, getting a lift with Samuel Beckett, unlikely Daniel Bedingfield merchandise, The Wizard, the SNES, Rilo Kiley, Mel Smith’s dad being from Tow Law, The Piglet Files, Crime Traveller, fuzzy felt, Sooty (well, Sweep) and rebel cricket tours of apartheid South Africa.  

We would love for you to speculate at the identity of the actor inverviewed by John at [email protected], on Twitter at @everyonediespod, on Facebook and Instagram. But we will confirm NOTHING!

We’d also love to hear your playground chants. Do you remember the “Margaret Thatcher, stick her in the bin” song? Surely you remember the "Margaret Thatcher, stick her in the bin” song.

Sooty, Sue and Mr Harry are enjoying a refined musical evening. Sweep interrupts with a series of increasingly unsuitable instruments. Seriously, it’s the most wonderful thing you’ll ever watch https://twitter.com/archivetvmus71/status/1304406014490537988?s=20 

We don’t even mention Reg trying to hide from the police in a transparent phonebox. You can learn more about that in this episode of Crimewatch https://youtu.be/EN4HmUNOuds 

This is a good article about the unofficial/unforgivable tour of South Africa by English cricketers in 1990 - https://www.independent.co.uk/sport/cricket/england-s-rebel-tour-south-africa-1990-i-thought-mike-gatting-might-get-killed-out-there-9996444.html 

If you have no idea what the Daniel Bedingfield joke was about, perhaps this will help https://www.independent.co.uk/extras/indybest/house-garden/bedroom/lily-allen-womanizer-liberty-premium-sex-toy-women-adult-vibrator-female-review-b1220936.html 

*Wac90 this year of course wideawakers!

The gang remembers the Monkseaton Shootings of 1989 – which despite being Britain’s fourth worst mass shooting – no-one else seems to do. Seriously, the BBC’s anniversary story was literally headlined “town struggles to remember shootings”. Britain’s fourth worst mass shooting!

John takes steps to avoid an accidental comeback in local radio. Claire is more interested in the fact that the lead actor in Woof! was called Edward Fidoe than Salman Rushdie’s fatwa or the end of the Cold War. Another Gareth Alexander wins an award. Our Gareth Alexander wins a protractor.  A dog gets to ride in an ambulance.

Digressions in this episode include: Noel Edmond’s Telly Addicts, VHS cases masquerading as classic literature, Dalziel and Pascoe, whether Rolf Harris’ paintings have appreciated in value lately, and of course Byker! Grove! Byker! Grove! Byker! Grove! Byker Byker Byker Byker Byker Grove yeah!

Ha-ha Ha-ha Ha-ha Ha-ha

Our theme music is the song “Steady Away” by Pete Dilley and can be found on his album Half-truths and Hearsay which you can/should buy/stream here: https://petedilley.bandcamp.com/album/half-truths-and-hearsay  

You can reach us on email [email protected], on Twitter at @everyonediespod, on Facebook and Instagram. 

We didn’t make that headline up - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/tyne/8029888.stm 

Want to see more of the news from May 1989? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhSdzEzOJd0 

The traumatic end of Half Man Half Biscuit loving Jemma Dobson - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRn00oojPNk 

Michael Sundin chases Elton John in a Sinclair C5 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcODO8rDwIo 

We don’t mention it, but the last episode of Byker Grove was wild - https://franticplanet.wordpress.com/2019/07/16/great-moments-in-pop-culture-byker-grove-nukes-the-fourth-wall/ 

Bloody hell though, Bernard’s Watch was a bit much! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cp0KhXhKyjk 

Woof! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqlUki0EOV0