Everyone's A Critic

I have no idea how to describe today's disasterthon, but it does have very big dinos. Every other part of it will, frankly, haunt me.

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I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once. 

In today's show, Jess comes for the hetero, and I attempt the impossible reviews topic. 

Or as Cormac McCarthy would say in his seminal coming-of-something novel Suttree:

"Somebody has been fuckin my watermelons."

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I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once. 

Fears: conquered. Sin: vanquished. Olive Garden: every single weeknight.

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I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once. 

In today's show, we bare our souls for Christmas.

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I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once. 

Today's show is brought to you by apologies. Apologies! Let someone else do the hard part.

It also features reviews for Oprah's favorite things and prank kits.

In today's show, I introduce everyone to my best friend Canthony, we drink lots of CBD, and Jess eats a tum.

We also read reviews for Folgers K-cups and robot dogs. It's honestly a pretty good one? We've got apologies in the next episode.

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I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once. 

Today's hyphenated title brought to you by autocorrect. Autocorrect! It'll really do ya dirty.

Also, Jess revisits fan-favorite segment I Went to Grad School, and it nearly kills me.

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I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once. 

In today's preview of the next Lorde LP, one host comes down with a cold so bad that, while editing the episode, that host felt vicariously ill all over again.

We also look at the IMDB Parent's Guide for Planet Earth. 

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I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once. 

So quick fact check: Impossible uses heme, and Beyond uses peas. Thus, peas and heme have never truly met in America's many meat departments.

But they have met in our hearts.

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I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once. 

In today's episode, we kick off Beach Week with a bodacious bang, Jess visits the island of misfit attractions, and we learn that it's NOT jaywalking if you steal first.

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I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.