Why the Cincinnati Castle is for idiots! Also: White Castle, sandcastles, bunkers, moats, woods, and all of the dirty business of castles, old and new.

Please subscribe so that we can continue to pay the Garbage Brain University research team and write/record these episodes! You’ll get over 130 episodes you haven’t heard, plus access to our secret Discord server.

• natalie & drew

Why nothing humans make will last, why spiders are the worst bugs, why people perceive almost nothing, how spiders make silk, the ongoing cloaca situation, and what humans could do if we could make thread. Plus Imposter Syndrome, aliens changing our DNA, and the true purpose of all the plastic we make, micro or macro.

Please subscribe, by the way. Your five bucks would keep us researching, writing and recording Garbage Brain University:

• natalie & drew

Blood tests, birds exploding, and other reasons not to like weddings.

Hit the “subscribe now” button to access the 136 paid episodes plus our Discord chatroom.

• natalie & drew

Pigeon races, camel races, racewalking, swimming, nude biking, and all the other races that have ever existed. Which one would you be in?

If you’re not a patron/subscriber you’re missing 135 premium-only episodes which you can access immediately by clicking the “Subscribe Now” button:

• natalie & drew

Would you become a cannibal? We talk about all the important parts of cannibalism: bioaccumulation, taste, Big Lurch, Christ Bearer, and chickens eating chickens. Also, prions, pour-overs, and the shit tree.

Not a subscriber? Support GBU by giving us five dollars and you’ll be rewarded with 134 paid-patron-only episodes plus access to our secret Discord:

• natalie & drew

People love hippos… but should they? We look deeply into the hippo-dolphin connection, why they spray feces, why Drew doesn’t believe in wind chill, and why people love the lowest common denominator. Also: GG Allin, ancient zoos, muting people, and sleeping in the bathtub.

Please consider supporting GBU since you listen to it and love it. A patronage here or elsewhere is only $5 and gives you instant access to 133 episodes you’ve never heard plus our secret Discord chatroom:

• natalie & drew

But first, books: what came before them? Who invented them (not Gutenberg, obviously?) Who invented spaces between words? Why did the Roman Empire fall? Why are we here? What comes after this? In ten, a thousand, a million, a trillion years?

Subscribe now (instant access to the 132 odd-numbered episodes you’ve never heard) please.

• natalie & drew

Emojis, in their short life online, have accomplished a lot. We talked our favorite emojis, “internet tone,” why they don’t have a nose, passive aggression, why the smiley face is copyrighted, Natalie’s idea for a mobile game, and 🆗.

Not subscribed? You’re missing half of our episodes and our secret chat-room/group-game hub. Subscribe now to join us.

• natalie & drew

Hey, we’ve gotta talk about something important: we need your help to keep making Garbage Brain University, and the only way you can help is by becoming a patron/subscriber. Hit the “Subscribe Now” button and you’ll be instantly rewarded with 130 subscriber-only episodes, but you’ll also have helped us to continue researching, writing, and recording two of these every week.

Anyway! Are caterpillars conscious? When is it time to leave society? What part of your DNA are you, really, if any? What happened when scientists gave people an extra thumb? And much more.

• natalie & drew

How many twins are there? Why do mammals have them? And what goes down at the Kentucky Pig Derby? We answer questions on these, dox the Dick Boys, and Drew creates a plan for neighbors to raise children more efficiently. All in today’s free episode.

Want to listen to the episodes we publish for subscribers only? The 129 full-length episodes you’ve never heard? You should know how to do that by now, but if not, you can hit this “Subscribe Now” button for instant access to our whole backcatalogue.

• natalie & drew