In our meditation, as we drop out of discursive mentalness and into bodyfulness, what do we find? A kind of existential darkness. This darkness is simultaneously our basic aliveness and our core vulnerability. In this darkness, we encounter the groundless joy of being alive as well as our mortality, existential aloneness, and fundamental insecurity regarding our safety, livability, and worthiness. In it, we also come face to face with ungraspability and meaninglessness. This talk presents and...

Existential Darkness and Everyday Practice

Zenki Christian Dillo Roshi is the Guiding Teacher at the Boulder Zen Center in Colorado, USA. This podcast shares the regular dharma talks given at the Center. Zenki Roshi approaches Zen practice as a craft of transformation, liberation, wisdom, and compassionate action. His interest is to bring Buddhism alive within Western cultural horizons while staying committed to the traditional emphasis on embodied practice.

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This talk explores the experience of loneliness and the practice and views we might want to adopt to foster a sense of community: (1) share space instead of expecting to share beliefs or interests, (2) prioritize doing things together over talking, (3) practice mutual embodiment (notice how we interaffect each other in our sensations and movements). Along the way, the talk highlights reductionism and psychologism (body-mind dualism) as errors of Western culture and suggests ways to understand...

On Community

This episode was first published in February 2022. We are republishing this episode because in it, Zenki Roshi addresses the most common questions asked by beginners and the issue of discomfort sometimes experienced by practitioners of all levels during zazen. What exactly are we doing in zazen meditation? What kind of effort is necessary? This talk addresses the shift we are inviting when we sit still, and it explores three zazen instructions and how they are interrelated: (1) just sit,...

Effortless Effort: Republished from 2022

This talk is the first of seven Sesshin talks. (A Sesshin is a 7-day Zen meditation intensive.) It starts with the question, 'What does it mean to love?' The word 'love' carries all kind of baggage. So much so that in American Zen it doesn't seem to have a whole lot of currency. Yet, we're all longing for the spiritual dimension of love. This wide-ranging talk explores the connections between love and unconditional acceptance, saying yes to life, sweetness, straightforwardness, meaning, self-...

What's Love Got to Do With It? (Sesshin Day 1)

This talk was given as part of the closing ceremony of the 3-month Everyday Zen Practice Period. At the end of retreats and periods of intensified practice, many practitioners wonder how they can carry the renewed and invigorated sense of practice into their everyday lives. The answer is simple but not easy to implement: continue to stay fully present in each situation, each action, each gesture. The talk connects this challenge to the wisdom of Dogen's Genjo Koan, which was discussed through...

On Formal and Daily Practice

This talk concludes the line-by-line commentary on the Genjo Koan. Dogen has given us a clear (and maybe disappointing) vision of practice. We are never done with our practice. It's not like we are practicing in order to reach enlightenment, and once we have realized it, we're good. Instead, we are challenged to express enlightenment through our practice — one moment and one action at a time. From this emerges a revised understanding of Buddha-nature. Buddha-nature is not something we HAVE—li...

Existential Darkness and Everyday Practice

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